Primary 6 student tries to jump off school building
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This is really sad. Whether the boy fully intended to throw himself off the building, or if he was doing it out of mischief, it’s still a cry for help. And the parents, teachers and friends have to keep a close eye on him.
There have been too many cases of schoolkids committing suicide. Many are not even reported in the papers. Sad. -
verykiasu2010:
Totally agree with you! I know some parents put emphasis on results (my husband is guilty of this) but I put emphasis on EFFORT. Once the kids have put in their best effort, whatever results they get is what we'll have to accept. I only wish our school system would recognise that too.it is one thing to stress on grades and good schools......but of equal emphasis must be to tell the kids as long they have done their best (not the parents' best), it will be okay and not loved less.
don't expect the kids to reach the sky if he / she can't.
parents ought to be realistic with their expectation based on the kids' ability
and please don't compare between siblings. they can rival among themselves but parents must set the tone and the overriding consideration is doing one's best and be honest about it, esp in the same household with kids of different ability in different schools -
This is my son's opinion about why children commit suicide...
http://petunialee.blogspot.com/2011/02/more-on-useless-textbooks.html -
Chenonceau:
I don't know whether to cry or to laugh at what your dear son said. There is innocent truth and wisdom in what he said (and at such a young age) but it is all so sad tooThis is my son's opinion about why children commit suicide...
http://petunialee.blogspot.com/2011/02/more-on-useless-textbooks.html
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schweppes:
:goodpost:verykiasu2010:
it is one thing to stress on grades and good schools......but of equal emphasis must be to tell the kids as long they have done their best (not the parents' best), it will be okay and not loved less.don't expect the kids to reach the sky if he / she can't.
Fully agree with you vk2010. I came across this phrase once and I find it so meaningful.
\"Too often, parents worry about what our children will become tomorrow, and yet we forget that they are someone special today.
It's very sad to read about what that boy tried to do. It shows that students today are under so much stress and pressure from school, peers and parents.
Totally agree with both of you. I think it's very sad when kids are so stressed about their grades and exams that they don't have time to just enjoy their childhood.
There's no doubt that our education system is top-quality and efficient, and our standards are among the highest in the world. But at what cost?
As parents, we want the best for our kids so we often push them. But we must also remind ourselves not to get so caught up in this rat race that we rob our kids of their childhood.
It's our responsibility to ensure that our kids grow up with a balanced and healthy outlook. Yes we need to encourage them to work hard and do their best, and some amount of competitiveness is always good. But we must never forget to appreciate them for who they are and to remember that every child has different gifts and different interests.
My hubby and I always tell ourselves that we must never kill our child's passion for learning. But it's easier said than done, I know... -
I always remember a story I read some time ago.
A father would now and then take the boy to playground but only for a little while because he wanted to boy to work hard and not play too much
Kids being kids and you know, when you are at the playground with the kids, it is hard to pull them away.....
One day, as usual the father hurried his boy to go home.....and his boy pleaded with him...\"Dad, 5 more minutes
\" but the Dad soon got angry and so the son obliged to go home quickly while he went to a nearby store to get some grocery...
After the father reached home with his grocery, he did not see his son at home, thinking his son was still at the playground. So with an angry mood he went back to the playground to look for his son but he was not there.
Not far away a crowd was gathering. It was a traffic accident. The father thought nothing about it and went home, angry. Later, the police came knocking at his door .......
His son took a short cut trying to get home earlier to please his dad but was knocked down by a speeding car .... the crowd he saw gathered at the road was it ...... by then it is too late, if only he agreed to give his son that \"5 more minutes\" .......that \"5 more minutes\" became a lifelong regret
Parents, sometimes that \"5 more minutes\" really meant a lot more than 5 more marks in the exams -
verykiasu2010:
This story made me cry.I always remember a story I read some time ago.
A father would now and then take the boy to playground but only for a little while because he wanted to boy to work hard and not play too much
Kids being kids and you know, when you are at the playground with the kids, it is hard to pull them away.....
One day, as usual the father hurried his boy to go home.....and his boy pleaded with him...\"Dad, 5 more minutes \" but the Dad soon got angry and so the son obliged to go home quickly while he went to a nearby store to get some grocery...
After the father reached home with his grocery, he did not see his son at home, thinking his son was still at the playground. So with an angry mood he went back to the playground to look for his son but he was not there.
Not far away a crowd was gathering. It was a traffic accident. The father thought nothing about it and went home, angry. Later, the police came knocking at his door .......
His son took a short cut trying to get home earlier to please his dad but was knocked down by a speeding car .... the crowd he saw gathered at the road was it ...... by then it is too late, if only he agreed to give his son that \"5 more minutes\" .......that \"5 more minutes\" became a lifelong regret
Parents, sometimes that \"5 more minutes\" really meant a lot more than 5 more marks in the exams
Yes... it's always good for parents to LISTEN to the urgency in a child's voice or his fear or his disappointment and give in. We always think we wanna mould our children and we know what is best. Sometimes, we know too little to be effective... because we don't LISTEN and HEAR the unsaid.
Children all want their parents' approval... and sometimes it is touching to see the lengths to which mine go to make me happy. Ohhhh... this is so so sad. -
verykiasu2010:
In this story, it's obvious that the fault lies solely with the son. He was disobedient - and his disobedience was compounded by his taking a short cut, and his not taking note of the road conditions in crossing the road.I always remember a story I read some time ago.
A father would now and then take the boy to playground but only for a little while because he wanted to boy to work hard and not play too much
Kids being kids and you know, when you are at the playground with the kids, it is hard to pull them away.....
One day, as usual the father hurried his boy to go home.....and his boy pleaded with him...\"Dad, 5 more minutes \" but the Dad soon got angry and so the son obliged to go home quickly while he went to a nearby store to get some grocery...
After the father reached home with his grocery, he did not see his son at home, thinking his son was still at the playground. So with an angry mood he went back to the playground to look for his son but he was not there.
Not far away a crowd was gathering. It was a traffic accident. The father thought nothing about it and went home, angry. Later, the police came knocking at his door .......
His son took a short cut trying to get home earlier to please his dad but was knocked down by a speeding car .... the crowd he saw gathered at the road was it ...... by then it is too late, if only he agreed to give his son that \"5 more minutes\" .......that \"5 more minutes\" became a lifelong regret
Parents, sometimes that \"5 more minutes\" really meant a lot more than 5 more marks in the exams
Why blame the father for enforcing what is right?
Why should the father feel guilty in expecting the son to obey him?
The only regret is that the father didn't allow the son's 5 minutes - but on the other hand, if the father gave in that 5 minutes, the son might also exhaust that 5 minutes and do the same thing and return via the short cut and cross the road without thought.
The point I'm making is this, the parent-child relationship is dynamic. There are factors outside the relationship that would also affect this relationship. The father expecting the son to obey him, is doing it out of love because he grants the son time to play, but there is the need to work. Why vilify his actions? Why create doubts for what he did out of love?
As for child suicides, there are factors living in this day and age that influence our kids that as parents we may find it difficult to counter. The media, for one is such an influence. The cry for help is exponentially depicted in the form of attempted suicides, self-mutilation or rebellion. Media characters turn to their friends for resolution to conflicts, but their parents are usually portrayed as clueless, villians or neglectful.
It becomes for parents a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you push your child to excel, you're afraid of pushing him too far. If you don't push your child to excel, you're afraid that he never attempt to realise his full potential.
Because excellence in Singapore is so narrow - PSLE results, schools that you can go to - it reduces the vision we have for our kids. We find it difficult to celebrate our kids' talents simply because most of their other talents are not officially recognised and our tunnel vision refocus on those elusive A*s, skimming over whatever achievements they have already garnered.
We need to take a step back and re-envision what success means for our children. I agree with the parents here who note that effort, rather than grade is the key to what we need to teach our kids.
However, that is not enough.
As parents, we need to continue advocating a change in our education system, not only for our children - but also for our children's children. We need to continue expecting our govt to make positive policies to expand the areas where we can celebrate our children's efforts and talents. SOTA and the Sports School is a step, but we need to dream bigger. We need to
believe that every child matters, and not only the gifted, the academically inclined or those who can regurgitate information. We need to celebrate the kids on the fringe, the dreamers, those that see things differently.
After all, those kids not only think outside the box, they practically live outside the box. -
As our children grow up, they become more and more unhappy with all the homework and stress that they are facing. As a parent, I have to constantly remind myself that my greatest wish for my children is for them to be happy and healthy. Even that simple wish is not easily materialised.
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ANobleNerd:
:goodpost: Nice balance.
In this story, it's obvious that the fault lies solely with the son. He was disobedient - and his disobedience was compounded by his taking a short cut, and his not taking note of the road conditions in crossing the road.verykiasu2010:
I always remember a story I read some time ago.
A father would now and then take the boy to playground but only for a little while because he wanted to boy to work hard and not play too much
Kids being kids and you know, when you are at the playground with the kids, it is hard to pull them away.....
One day, as usual the father hurried his boy to go home.....and his boy pleaded with him...\"Dad, 5 more minutes \" but the Dad soon got angry and so the son obliged to go home quickly while he went to a nearby store to get some grocery...
After the father reached home with his grocery, he did not see his son at home, thinking his son was still at the playground. So with an angry mood he went back to the playground to look for his son but he was not there.
Not far away a crowd was gathering. It was a traffic accident. The father thought nothing about it and went home, angry. Later, the police came knocking at his door .......
His son took a short cut trying to get home earlier to please his dad but was knocked down by a speeding car .... the crowd he saw gathered at the road was it ...... by then it is too late, if only he agreed to give his son that \"5 more minutes\" .......that \"5 more minutes\" became a lifelong regret
Parents, sometimes that \"5 more minutes\" really meant a lot more than 5 more marks in the exams
Why blame the father for enforcing what is right?
Why should the father feel guilty in expecting the son to obey him?
The only regret is that the father didn't allow the son's 5 minutes - but on the other hand, if the father gave in that 5 minutes, the son might also exhaust that 5 minutes and do the same thing and return via the short cut and cross the road without thought.
The point I'm making is this, the parent-child relationship is dynamic. There are factors outside the relationship that would also affect this relationship. The father expecting the son to obey him, is doing it out of love because he grants the son time to play, but there is the need to work. Why vilify his actions? Why create doubts for what he did out of love?
As for child suicides, there are factors living in this day and age that influence our kids that as parents we may find it difficult to counter. The media, for one is such an influence. The cry for help is exponentially depicted in the form of attempted suicides, self-mutilation or rebellion. Media characters turn to their friends for resolution to conflicts, but their parents are usually portrayed as clueless, villians or neglectful.
It becomes for parents a case of damned if you do and damned if you don't. If you push your child to excel, you're afraid of pushing him too far. If you don't push your child to excel, you're afraid that he never attempt to realise his full potential.
Because excellence in Singapore is so narrow - PSLE results, schools that you can go to - it reduces the vision we have for our kids. We find it difficult to celebrate our kids' talents simply because most of their other talents are not officially recognised and our tunnel vision refocus on those elusive A*s, skimming over whatever achievements they have already garnered.
We need to take a step back and re-envision what success means for our children. I agree with the parents here who note that effort, rather than grade is the key to what we need to teach our kids.
However, that is not enough.
As parents, we need to continue advocating a change in our education system, not only for our children - but also for our children's children. We need to continue expecting our govt to make positive policies to expand the areas where we can celebrate our children's efforts and talents. SOTA and the Sports School is a step, but we need to dream bigger. We need to
believe that every child matters, and not only the gifted, the academically inclined or those who can regurgitate information. We need to celebrate the kids on the fringe, the dreamers, those that see things differently.
After all, those kids not only think outside the box, they practically live outside the box.
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