How much should I give my parents?

[satyagraha]

myWQ:

Just wondering if SAHMs still give allowance to your own parents. If yes do you give them out of own savings or is given by husbands?


If no then do your parents mind/understand?

SAHM here. I do give my parents an allowance (close to 1K in total). They live at the other end of the country, so no help from them.

Give them out of my own savings. Yes, as a SAHM I still have \"monthly income\" (pity, no CPF contribution)... from husband.

[sleepy]

myWQ:

Just wondering if SAHMs still give allowance to your own parents. If yes do you give them out of own savings or is given by husbands?


If no then do your parents mind/understand?

Yes. From hubby la. A token $200 for kopi. My brother gave them plenty of allowance so they don't rely on my contribution. But I feel bad if never give anything

[cherrygal]

So far I still give them same amount from my savings. Told them I will give as long as I can afford.

[nani]

Do you all still give retiree parents in their late 70s, if yes how much monthly? All expenses are already paid and their well being are taken care of.

[Lavina]

I am SAHM and my hubby gives my mom $600 monthly. One brother gives my dad some $ and another single brother who live with them pay for utility, house etc…


Since my brother has always been my mom’s fav son, naturally she loves his two dd more than my ds. I just let it pass. DS gets enough love from hubby and me… hehehe

I have a friend who was so pissed that the wife’s mom "zhong nan qing nu" that he made his wife (i think wife agrees too) cut all ties with the family. Ten years and they haven’t even gone back once!

[Canvas]

Lavinia: It is very nice of your hubby to give your mother allowance. :please:

[vinegar]

Lavina:

I am SAHM and my hubby gives my mom $600 monthly. One brother gives my dad some $ and another single brother who live with them pay for utility, house etc...


Since my brother has always been my mom's fav son, naturally she loves his two dd more than my ds. I just let it pass. DS gets enough love from hubby and me.... hehehe

I have a friend who was so pissed that the wife's mom \"zhong nan qing nu\" that he made his wife (i think wife agrees too) cut all ties with the family. Ten years and they haven't even gone back once!

my mum also dotes my bro more.He forever an angel to her.

i used to give $$ to my mum even i stopped working for yrs.One day,i casually asked her if $$ enuff if brother got give her $$.Her reply was irritating.She said,\"u think i could i survive wf ur miserable few hundred dollar that u give?? ur bro gives me few thousands to spend.\"

She stays wf my bro n also treat bro's children like precious gems,hack care my children.

She said her savings will give all to my bro coz he takes care of her.it was hurting. :sad: it is not the $$ issue,but i find her too \"practical\".
But i still give her $$ occasionally.

[Lavina]

vinegar:

Her reply was irritating.She said,\"u think i could i survive wf ur miserable few hundred dollar that u give?? ur bro gives me few thousands to spend.\"

OMG she has totally no EQ at all. I'd be very hurt too. Thankfully my mom is more subtle.

Since your brother is so generous, then you no need to feel bad about not giving her money. Perhaps buy her things which she likes would lessen the comparison.

My hubby's sister also gives his mom a lot of money (she is way richer than us). I ever told hubby that this is not competition, doesn't mean we have to give as much as her. In fact since she already giving so much, we can give less and be nice to her in other way.

P/S, thank you canvas

[vinegar]

Lavina:

vinegar:

Her reply was irritating.She said,\"u think i could i survive wf ur miserable few hundred dollar that u give?? ur bro gives me few thousands to spend.\"

OMG she has totally no EQ at all. I'd be very hurt too. Thankfully my mom is more subtle.

Since your brother is so generous, then you no need to feel bad about not giving her money. Perhaps buy her things which she likes would lessen the comparison.

My hubby's sister also gives his mom a lot of money (she is way richer than us). I ever told hubby that this is not competition, doesn't mean we have to give as much as her. In fact since she already giving so much, we can give less and be nice to her in other way.

P/S, thank you canvas

Ya lor...agree wf u...it is not a amt of $$,we give within our means.When i was single n working,could afford to give more.But can't give more anymore after i married n stopped working.She always compares me wf my cousin,who is childless n working in USA.Of coz,she could afford to pay more considering the currency exchange.

I understand wat u mean.We show our filial in many ways,not necessary give more $$ means we r more filial.My USA cousin couldn't even be there wf my aunty when she went for operation.

I am disappointed wf my mum.But hv to learn to forget n forgive.We cant choose our parents.

[MMM]

I actually gives my parents $1.8K per month. This excludes the monthly instalment for their apartment (which is jointly owned by my parents, dh and myself), their utilities bill as well as annual holidays (eg. 2-3 a year which includes China, Malaysia, or our family holiday).


Seeing this... I think I really contribute alot to upkeeping my parents every month hence I must continue to be employed and work hard. BTW, I am the only child and my parents are not working anymore.

I sometimes worry about parents falling sick and hefty medical expenses in Singapore. But seeing insider's separate thread on contribution to parents brought comfort to me. I also hold the thinking that my parents are no longer young, where I can afford, I will do it. Hopefully next time my kids will do likewise for us too.

At the same time, I think we've been blessed as we bought parents' apartment 7 years back when prices are low. Price have doubled. House is within 1km to a popular school and good location. All that I am praying for now is continued job security for at least another 17 years....Hopefully we are able to retire and I can get retrench then