In-law problems?
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Pan8888 wrote : [quote]Hey everyone out there,
hope u all can advise abit.
mil is a gambler, now in debt and say want to kick the habit.
DH suggest that she take care of DS so she wont go gambling.
do u all think i should take the risk? [/quote]My own mum used to be a gambler too......I personally dont trust she can do a good job in taking care of kids since her \"heart\" and \"soul\" is always with the MJ table and yes, her children helped to clear most of her debts too..She & FIL stay with my only bro so \"automatically\" she has to look after her grandchildren (My bro's kids). For the past 13 years, I would not say she did a wonderful job but she has at least taken care the needs for the grandchildren. My bro would not allow her to \"disappear\" if no adult is around the house thus she will only go for her \"hobby\" in the evening or weekends when my bro or his wife are back from work.
My mum is a changed person now eversince since she attends church 2 years ago. And yes, she kicked off her gambling habit and most importantly, she no longer in touch with the gambling friends.
If your mil deeply loves and dotes on your DS, your DS might be the strength to make the change
................most importantly, your mil must have the determination to stay away from the gambling habit and the cirlce of gambling friends. Good luck -
EatNonStop:
janet_lee88 wrote : [quote]Ok, just found out that they will be coming back this month...claim they miss family...what a joke. Anyway, it seems they won't be going to US again. 3 months passed exceptionally fast. Miss family...more like fed up of cooking every meal.
Oh dear, gonna lose your past 3 mths freedom !![/quote]Nope, I am not going to care. The only good thing about them coming back is not having to pay for petrol to drive to the East to collect mail...petrol so ex now, imagine going all the way there just to clear the letter box. -
Correction : [quote]She & FIL stay with my only bro[/quote] should be She and my dad stay with my only bro...what am I thinking about? :idea:
janet_lee88 [quote]Nope, I am not going to care. The only good thing about them coming back is not having to pay for petrol to drive to the East to collect mail...petrol so ex now, imagine going all the way there just to clear the letter box. [/quote]Huh, still have to collect letters for them ??...............for me, I dun bother and wait for them to collect themselves! or just my hubby to do it. -
EatNonStop:
should be She and my dad stay with my only bro...what am I thinking about? :idea:Correction : [quote]She & FIL stay with my only bro
janet_lee88 [quote]Nope, I am not going to care. The only good thing about them coming back is not having to pay for petrol to drive to the East to collect mail...petrol so ex now, imagine going all the way there just to clear the letter box. [/quote]Huh, still have to collect letters for them ??...............for me, I dun bother and wait for them to collect themselves! or just my hubby to do it.[/quote]Yeah...as if there is only 1 who drives. The other 2 doesn't bother. Even if hubby is the one who does it, I see no reason why there is a need to drive from West to East just to collect mail...most of the mail is for the sickening lazy brother who diverts his mail there bcos he doesn't want wife to know. :x -
janet_lee88:
Yeah...as if there is only 1 who drives. The other 2 doesn't bother. Even if hubby is the one who does it, I see no reason why there is a need to drive from West to East just to collect mail...most of the mail is for the sickening lazy brother who diverts his mail there bcos he doesn't want wife to know. :x
If I were u, I would have insisted he put the bro's letter back into the letter box and SMS him to collect them himself...or you'll inform his wife abt these letter!!! *LOL* -
Nebbermind:
What can I do ? My idiotic hubby is always bullied to do all these shit. As for his wife, it's going to be another LONG story if I start.janet_lee88:
Yeah...as if there is only 1 who drives. The other 2 doesn't bother. Even if hubby is the one who does it, I see no reason why there is a need to drive from West to East just to collect mail...most of the mail is for the sickening lazy brother who diverts his mail there bcos he doesn't want wife to know. :x
If I were u, I would have insisted he put the bro's letter back into the letter box and SMS him to collect them himself...or you'll inform his wife abt these letter!!! *LOL* -
janet_lee88:
My filial hubby used to be the one trying to do everything.....but ever since PIL shifted in, he feels the burden. Also, with me
What can I do ? My idiotic hubby is always bullied to do all these shit. As for his wife, it's going to be another LONG story if I start.
crying foul and feeling imbalance.... HEY all the DIL dun have to lift a single finger, so dun come and give me that I'm the eldest DIL shit :P, enough is enough. IF the rest can PROTECT the wife, why can't you??? Guess also cos' the MIL is damn biased.....and pushes a lot to him while a particular one gets scott free for everything, it kinda wakes him up to start delegating. Look at it this way, if MIL is so biased, why dun she goes over to stay with them rather than stay here and 'xian' this and that.
If none of the letters are for you, then should just ignore and tell the BRO to collect himself. Hmmm....think you must be fretting over them coming back now. -
Quoting examples...do it sound familiar??
Mil : Wen (my daughter), have you taken your breakfast?
Wen : Yes, mummy gave me coco krunch and milk
MIl : Aiyo, always take this kind of heaty stuff for Breakfast, wait kena soar throat or fever then u know
Wen : keep quiet
MIL : Wen, Ah Ma bought fried carrot cake and Yu tiao, come and have some...
So fried carrot cake and Yu tiao are not heaty?
Out for dinner at Bedok Hawker center.
Hubby : What shall we have for dinner
Me : Want to try the chilli crabs?
MIL : Aiyo, crabs very high cholestro, dun want dun want
Hubby : any other suggestion
MIL : Son, order a fried oyster for me!
So, fried osyter dun have high cholestro??
:frustrated: -
EatNonStop:
My own mum used to be a gambler too......I personally dont trust she can do a good job in taking care of kids since her \"heart\" and \"soul\" is always with the MJ table and yes, her children helped to clear most of her debts too..She & FIL stay with my only bro so \"automatically\" she has to look after her grandchildren (My bro's kids). For the past 13 years, I would not say she did a wonderful job but she has at least taken care the needs for the grandchildren. My bro would not allow her to \"disappear\" if no adult is around the house thus she will only go for her \"hobby\" in the evening or weekends when my bro or his wife are back from work.Pan8888 wrote : [quote]Hey everyone out there,
hope u all can advise abit.
mil is a gambler, now in debt and say want to kick the habit.
DH suggest that she take care of DS so she wont go gambling.
do u all think i should take the risk?
My mum is a changed person now eversince since she attends church 2 years ago. And yes, she kicked off her gambling habit and most importantly, she no longer in touch with the gambling friends.
If your mil deeply loves and dotes on your DS, your DS might be the strength to make the change ................most importantly, your mil must have the determination to stay away from the gambling habit and the cirlce of gambling friends. Good luck[/quote]Problem is she been gambling for more than 20 years!! she got alot of MJ/casino/genting/cruise friends etc... so tempting... not the first time indebt...
And daytime she is the only at home. so I think very very difficult..
She prefer to take care of mine rather than her own daugther's kid.
(In fact, she sometimes is taking care of that kid but still go gambling....)
So how do I put trust in her and taking the risk of my DS's future?
DH want me to pay her!! ( DH seems so selfish!! want me to pay her and want to risk DS future in order want to change mil !!! feel kind of strange!!!) -
If your mil is a very rooted gambler then very difficult cos gamblers dun care about consequences whenever they gambled away the hard earn $$$ by themselves or kids and worst if they are in debt. If your mil is a "part-time player" still can manage. They are just like druf addicts unless totally kick off the bad habit. You may want to set rules and conditions with hubby if no choice that your mil ultimately the one to look after your DS. Your hubby will only be able "to reject" his mum when he has enough facts and evidences to "openly" rejects his own mum. So you may need to record incidences to "accumulate" facts to reason out with hubby and then weigh the importance. We the daughter-in-laws always see as "small things blow into big things"…unless you dare enough to stand firm in your decision and care less about what hubby and mil think
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