MY NEW LIFE - WIDOW
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Funz:
Your friend must be very very heart broken....Dolphinsia, sorry about your loss.
It is tough, when we marry and have kids, we always envision our spouse being with us, bringing up the kids, growing old together. Seldom do we think about losing our partner.
A friend of mine lost her husband suddenly. He just died in his sleep beside her one night. He was only 31yrs old and she 30yrs old. They have a daughter, only 1yr old then. She said never in her wildest dream did she ever think that she will be dealt such a cruel hand. But with the support of her family and friends she managed.
Stay positive. And seeing what your kids have said to you, I think you need not always be the pillar, at times, you can lean a little on them, they can be a source of solace for you too.
Waking up ...and finding her spouse gone.... :heartbroken:
And the daughter so young ...do not even have a chance....to know the father..... :hugs:
Your friend is so brave....must learn from her.... :please: -
hi doplinsiah,
Be Strong.
Our friend just commented abt 2 weeks ago that the party that can tahan the stress (death of dw/dh) shld stay.
So perhaps you are the strong one.
Take care! -
dolphinsiah:
Good morning everybody,
Thank you to all of you ....for all your kind words and responses....
:thankyou:
Yes, I am a woman that hardly weeps and screams out when face with problems...
I tend to vent my frustration by writing out my unhappiness...
To me a Pen is mighter than a Sword....
So vent my unhappiness in Kiasuparents website...lor... :idea:
My kids suggest that I should take USS Roller Coaster or Mummy Rider to scream out my unhappiness.... :stupid:
But I told them , what happen if I have a heart attack....during the rides
Then both of them will become orphans...cannot take risk.... :shock:
Now taking Baby Steps to adapt to this new Widow Role.... :nunchuk:
One important lesson I wish to share is:
\"Never let your spouse pass away before you....
It is very pain and hurtful to bury someone you loved....\" :gloomy:
That is why I feel the pain of the Japanese survivors of the recent disaster...
The mental torturing these survivors have to go through....
Oh this is so sad!
:snuggles: :snuggles: :snuggles:
Take is slow, dolphinsiah. At your own pace.
You are one strong woman .
But remember it is ok to cry , to feel moody , to feel sad,to feel bewildered....
Some time you need to do those to heal...
Write what you need to here , just share or vent - many emphatic sould here to heal you.
Take care
:snuggles: -
Sorry to hear yr loss. please take good care of yrself and be strong. Hugs to you.
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I am really sorry to hear about your loss. I had a cousin that died a few years ago, leaving behind a young wife and 2 young children, so have some empathy to what you must be going through now.
There will be bad days but there will be good days. Whatever kind of day it may be, you have to carry on as your kids need you to carry on. Not every day will be bad, it does not rain forever. Maybe this is an route that you are destined to experience, and a lesson that you have to learn about life. Every one has their own routes laid out for them.
This forum, so far I have seen, is not too bad. All the best and stay strong.
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:imsorry: to hear of your loss. Just want to share with you a verse that I find comforting (I am not a Christian, but I think this can apply to life in general):
God hath not promised
Skies always blue,
Flower-strewn pathways
All our lives through;
God hath not promised
Sun without rain,
Joy without sorrow, peace without pain.
God hath not promised
We shall not know
Toil and temptations,
Trouble and woe;
He hath not told us
We shall not bear
Many a burden, many a care.
But God hath promised
Strength for the day,
Rest for the labor, light for the way,
Grace for the trials,
Help from above,
Unfailing kindness, undying love.
Be strong for your kids and be positive. Time will heal the pain, and the future will be brighter. :hugs: -
dolphinsiah, I know how you must be feeling now cos my dad passed away recently and I saw the pain and sadness my mum was feeling. she broke down a few times at the wake.
Be strong for your kids. It’s not gonna be easy to be both dad and mum to them, especially if they are still young. But take strength from friends and family around you, and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Try to find a support group for widows (I think there is one but can’t remember the name). It helps to have people in the same situation to share with.
God bless… -
Angelight:
Good evening Angelight,dolphinsiah, I know how you must be feeling now cos my dad passed away recently and I saw the pain and sadness my mum was feeling. she broke down a few times at the wake.
Be strong for your kids. It's not gonna be easy to be both dad and mum to them, especially if they are still young. But take strength from friends and family around you, and don't be afraid to ask for help. Try to find a support group for widows (I think there is one but can't remember the name). It helps to have people in the same situation to share with.
God bless...
My condolences to you .....must spend more time with your mom....
Now her feelings must be like roller coaster....
My first weeks , now and then I will break down in tears....
After funeral went back to work immediately....even more mental toturing...
I was my hubby PA in office...so everything involves the late hubby...
Tears kept rolling down when doing office work...
Kept on issuing the wrong cheques....many times sent out cheques without signatories....
Tried to divert my attention ...by reading books on how to survive as a Widow....Buddhism views of life....
I know the group that helps Widows in Singapore...
The group is WICARE located at Bishan....
Read the book they published....
The book writes about the Widows encounters ....the pain they go through...
Cried buckets of water....when reading the book....so many Young Widows.....
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Hi dolphinsah, didn’t know about this till now i roam in this thread. I am sorry… Please be strong, for yourself and your kids.
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I’m sorry to hear about your situation. It really is a change in identity and everything you’ve been until now.
That said, take small steps to embrace the changes. I think you’ll surprise yourself at the amount you can do. At the same time, be positive and look to the positive people around you to help you cope.
When you grieve, grieve. Don’t let the emotional process faze you - it doesn’t weaken you; it is a strengthening process and you’ll come out stronger for it.
God bless you.
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