P1 Punishment
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Chenonceau:
Totally agree.I'm not against corporal punishment but do think that it needs to be a last resort. Was this a last resort? Were other measures implemented before to little effect?
I also think corporal punishment needs to be administered in...
(1) tightly controlled situations (i.e., state the EXACT number of pinches before the punishment starts and stick to it)
(2) with formal adult witnesses (i.e., in the presence of at least ONE other Teacher/Parent aside from the Form Teacher)
(3) by someone emotionally (i.e., emotionally stable) and intellectually competent (i.e., with capacity to clearly discern why this is being done and the limits to the act). I don't think the victims of the bully are emotionally competent and I don't think children are intellectually competent to administer corporal punishment to a peer.
(4) by someone physically incompetent (i.e., someone not physically very strong e.g., not a 7 ft tall desert commando, to prevent accidental grievous hurt). Children are not themselves strong, but children with long nails CAN draw blood.
(5) in conditions where the subject's privacy is protected (i.e., not in public by members of the public such as classmates)
(6) after explaining very clearly to the child why it is being done and how (i.e., this concerns the sanctity of the child's body... I tell my kids that no one owns their physical body except them. No one can touch them or hurt their bodies in any way without their agreement. And if they disagree, they must seek help or fight. Initially, it was to protect them from possible sexual abuse in situations where I was absent from their sides... but when I had to cane them, they confronted me with this logic so we had to institute this as a rule too). Children can understand and agree to just punishment even if it hurts. When they agree and accept, the relationship is preserved.
Objective of the Physical punishment is important.
Physical punishment as revenge is not the answer, as a deterent can be acceptable if other means have failed.
Any punishment - when administered in an emotionally not stable state is hardly effective. Like why nagging is never effective.
Of course the teacher seems to have taken time to do it - not decided on the spur of the moment. Like some have pointed out maybe measures were taken earlier, warnings given, etc. So yes, it is not a black and white case.
what is done is done, how can the class learn/heal from this?
I liked what BlueBells suggests -
On the other hand, perhaps a followup session for the class to apologise to each other for causing hurt / pain to another may sooth the sore and bring about better values? -
Hi,I'm the friend Belle is talking about. My son has been a patient of kkh child development unit since 4 yr. He has speech difficulties, cannot express himself and suspected ADHD keep in view by psychologist doctor. Before entering p1 a letter was given to the school to inform the teachers about his special needs.
When i ask him yesterday why he pinch his classmates he looks at me in shame and sadness but can't explain why he did it. Its really breaks my heart
I'm trying to find a private councelling centre that he can attend coz gov takes a long time once a year see psychologist doc. Any recommendation ? -
cwc:
I was pinched by my P2 teacher until blue black. What's the crime? For not standing straight enough in queue in her opinion. That's phyiscal abuse. Yet to count the verbal abuse & sneer remarks by various teachers :!:
Gosh, quite bad eh. Yes, during our time.....teacher is BIG, teacher always CORRECT.QuiteKSMum:
Rem when I was in P3, T asked us (Chinese girls) what's tent in chinese. None of us could answer and she asked all the chinese girls to queue up and let the malay classmates slap us! Physical pain I cannot rem liao, but this episode is still v.fresh in my mind even thou more than 30 yrs have passed. BTW, the T is a Chinese lady...maybe she's having PMS on that day... :? :x
Of course during that era, most of us don't go & complain to our parents. Maybe I did, but they just listened only, no action taken...
I also remembered an incident in P5....my Chinese teacher slept in class and we were to self-study. I told a male classmate \"老师在发白日梦\" and he laughed too loudly and woke the teacher. She was very angry, came over and slapped me so hard on the shoulder that I felt forward a few steps. I felt so :x cos' I'm stating fact. Guess during our time, we just suffer in silence.....
You know whenever I saw MOE recruitement commercials on TV, I just laughed out loud. Is that a fairytale? Hey that wasn't anywhere near how I remembered my teachers
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jojowee:
jojowee,Hi,I'm the friend Belle is talking about. My son has been a patient of kkh child development unit since 4 yr. He has speech difficulties, cannot express himself and suspected ADHD keep in view by psychologist doctor. Before entering p1 a letter was given to the school to inform the teachers about his special needs.
When i ask him yesterday why he pinch his classmates he looks at me in shame and sadness but can't explain why he did it. Its really breaks my heart
I'm trying to find a private councelling centre that he can attend coz gov takes a long time once a year see psychologist doc. Any recommendation ?
I am very sorry to hear this. I am absolutely appalled by what the teacher did. Hopefully some sensible parent will report him/her to MOE. -
sleepy:
I was pinched by my P2 teacher until blue black. What's the crime? For not standing straight enough in queue in her opinion. That's phyiscal abuse. Yet to count the verbal abuse & sneer remarks by various teachers :!:
Gosh, quite bad eh. Yes, during our time.....teacher is BIG, teacher always CORRECT.cwc:
[quote=\"QuiteKSMum\"]Rem when I was in P3, T asked us (Chinese girls) what's tent in chinese. None of us could answer and she asked all the chinese girls to queue up and let the malay classmates slap us! Physical pain I cannot rem liao, but this episode is still v.fresh in my mind even thou more than 30 yrs have passed. BTW, the T is a Chinese lady...maybe she's having PMS on that day... :? :x
Of course during that era, most of us don't go & complain to our parents. Maybe I did, but they just listened only, no action taken...
I also remembered an incident in P5....my Chinese teacher slept in class and we were to self-study. I told a male classmate \"老师在发白日梦\" and he laughed too loudly and woke the teacher. She was very angry, came over and slapped me so hard on the shoulder that I felt forward a few steps. I felt so :x cos' I'm stating fact. Guess during our time, we just suffer in silence.....
You know whenever I saw MOE recruitement commercials on TV, I just laughed out loud. Is that a fairytale? Hey that wasn't anywhere near how I remembered my teachers :|[/quote]I was caned by the teacher for talking too much when in lower primary. I have no comments about punishment by teachers. However, I think that teacher who asked other kids to queue up to pinch on small child is very wrong. The teacher is teaching kids that it is right to take revenge. So at home if their siblings hit them, then they must always hit back ? What happen to the virtues of tolerance and forgiveness ? -
jojowee:
Hi jojowee,Hi,I'm the friend Belle is talking about. My son has been a patient of kkh child development unit since 4 yr. He has speech difficulties, cannot express himself and suspected ADHD keep in view by psychologist doctor. Before entering p1 a letter was given to the school to inform the teachers about his special needs.
When i ask him yesterday why he pinch his classmates he looks at me in shame and sadness but can't explain why he did it. Its really breaks my heart
I'm trying to find a private councelling centre that he can attend coz gov takes a long time once a year see psychologist doc. Any recommendation ?
I have 2 psychiatrists who are practicing in Mount E to recommend. My son has been seeing one of them for 3 years for suspected Asperger Syndrome and the other, I plan to go in June for 2nd opinion. If you are interested, pls pm me.
Both psychiatrists were recommended by my son's PD in Mt E. The psy I am going to seek for 2nd opinion is renowned in this field and u do see his name appear in Mind Your Body. -
jojowee:
Does your child have a history of behaviours that point to sensory integration disorder? Does he have dyspraxic behaviours?Hi,I'm the friend Belle is talking about. My son has been a patient of kkh child development unit since 4 yr. He has speech difficulties, cannot express himself and suspected ADHD keep in view by psychologist doctor. Before entering p1 a letter was given to the school to inform the teachers about his special needs.
When i ask him yesterday why he pinch his classmates he looks at me in shame and sadness but can't explain why he did it. Its really breaks my heart
I'm trying to find a private councelling centre that he can attend coz gov takes a long time once a year see psychologist doc. Any recommendation ?
(You can google for symptoms of sensory integration disorder (SID) and dyspraxia.)
If yes, pls bring your son to see an Occupational Therapist who specialises in the above conditions. A behaviour therapist may be able to help to put a behaviour management program in place.
From my experience, children with ADHD may get into fights but do not regularly pinch other children. Some children with the above dual condition do pinch or scratch.
While I do not know the facts, most teachers do not suggest such extreme punishment unless they are very frustrated.
But the teacher should be reported to the principal and counselled for not exercising due discretion. You have to take some responsibility for agreeing to it.
I'm sorry for what happened to your son. It is unacceptable. There are no mitigating reasons whatsoever.
I hope u get some help soon. You can PM me if you like to know the OT centre which specialises in SID. -
jojowee:
Aaaah.. now we know the real history behind the actions.. i did feel yestHi,I'm the friend Belle is talking about. My son has been a patient of kkh child development unit since 4 yr. He has speech difficulties, cannot express himself and suspected ADHD keep in view by psychologist doctor. Before entering p1 a letter was given to the school to inform the teachers about his special needs.
When i ask him yesterday why he pinch his classmates he looks at me in shame and sadness but can't explain why he did it. Its really breaks my heart
I'm trying to find a private councelling centre that he can attend coz gov takes a long time once a year see psychologist doc. Any recommendation ?
that not all were told in detail (hence the many questions) & somehow gut
feelings + some experience with similar cases did indicate that perhaps
your son has medical issues that i didn't want to pin-point.. (so the many
questions were actually to be more sure of the nature of the issue at hand
and of course also your son) but not nice to dig when if it's something not
for open sharing.. but with your revelation, at least we now know the deep
end of what's going on.. the earlier the intervention the better for you and
your son. Whereabouts are you staying? You can PM me if you're not
comfortable... it will help if he can also work in groups of children in the
presence of trained therapists other than one-to-one consultation with med
person that you have in mind. *hugs for you* http://www.easyfreesmileys.com/skype-emoticons.html -
the teacher is sending the wrong message that revenge is alright
the boy is wrong and deserved to be punished but not by the ‘mob’, the person in authority (teacher) should be the one doing it in a suitable manner -
It should be the teacher who carry out the punishment rather than fellow classmates. If not, the children may think they can punish others such as pinching.. :rant:
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