Extra Marital Affair

[tracytmks]

i m new at this track. just found out tt my hubby had EMA too is a malaysian girl if i m not wrong. started to suspect this wen he starts to go work early n come hm late at nite. y is he doing this need some advise

[EatNonStop]

My galfren's husband also had EMF....that started 2 yrs ago and 1 year later, they decided to sign separation...Recently, He broken up with the china gal claiming characters difference, still connecting the 2 kids and occasionally request my galfren to join in the \"family\" outing but still refuse to go home or reconcil though my galfren is ready to patch up.......what is this? :?

[3Boys]

fluffyboy:

Hi


wanna ask your opinion on my situation here. feeling kinda lost and dunno wat to do. nobody whom i can seek advice from since its kinda private.

since i was pregnant 2+ yrs ago, my husband stop being intimate with me. reason he gave was tat he was afraid may hurt the unborn child due to \"rough handling\" and by accident etc. I accepted his reason considering he is a very cautious person who rather not take risks. After my child is born, for first 1 yr, we were very busy taking care of baby, lack of sleep, inexperience parents and basically exhausted most of the time. So we din have any intimacy. Now that my child is coming to 2 yrs old, life getting easy and settled into routine, my husband still gives excuses not to be intimate, saying he is very tired or simply not in the mood. When I tried harder, he gets angry and we ended up quarrelling badly in several occasions. Which means that we have not been intimate since >2 yrs. Is it normal for a man to be so exhausted physically that he does not have the \"need\" anymore? I caught him once in a while looking at porno on the internet.

Can anyone advise what is happening?

I have checked his HP there is no trace of \"3rdparty\" unless he really covers his track very well.

Sigh.

Difficult though it is to believe, sex can actually be hard work for a man. After a period of inactivity, especially if he has found some other way of 'gratifying' himself, he might just get into that groove and not deal with the effort of being intimate with the spouse.

You cannot let him get away with that.....

You must let him know that you expect physical intimacy as part of the deal of being married. Then set the scene for some relaxation time away from the hustle and bustle, to reconnect. Although it seems difficult to do, I recommend that you plan a romantic getaway, perhaps 2-3 nights at least, away from the baby (get your mum or MIL to cover). Get relaxed, do dinner out, get to feel good about yourself and each other as a couple. It can be turned around, but it will need some effort.....and it'll be worth it.

[cnimed]

3Boys:

Difficult though it is to believe, sex can actually be hard work for a man...You cannot let him get away with that.....

:lol: :lol: Nicely put.

[tracytmks]

hubby got ema as i suspected. this mth his hp bill $200 plus lots of oseas calls. call everyday n one day can call more than 4 times. working on shift. need to check any cheapest PI to recommend? how long they track n do they do oseas

trans? oso if to file seperation any cheap lawyer to recomm? nw wat i worry is my gal no one to bring her hm after her 3hrs kindergarden(k1). currently is my mil taking care she is staying with us. relationship wif her is sour most of the time quarrel wif hubby cause of her. she is not spontaneous enough i m a working mum. everyday got to rush hm like mad women. go hm wash floor, my clothes eat dinner then go bring my younger son at nanny hse. so routine n stress. nite time got to take care of both she no need. long weekend is the worst both will fight. mil sometimes bo chap

[peapot]

oh dear! Tracytmks, that sounds so frustrating! To put up with hubby and MIL at the same time. Stressful indeed. In the worst scenario, try putting your kids in student care? You need to talk to your husband. Ask him exactly what he wants now. There are many law firms around. google and you will find a list of companies that will meet your criteria. In the meantime, perhaps you can shift back to you mom’s place?

[tracytmks]

how cld u forgive ur spouse for straying so easily. till now i still cannot forgive n forget, staying under the same roof somemore. wanted to \"d\" but thoughts of the kids. lately his attitude also change last time when he is not working, he will sit infront of tv watch show. lately sudden change play with the kids n. last time will just sit there see tv eyes glue tightly to it. so far i had no concrete proof what his r/s with tt gal. what made me puzzle is he keep on saying no ppl doing OT. where got ppl work more than 24hrs and is almost everyday. currently he is working shift work. got more to come suddenly bring hm so many clothes which i had nvr see him wear before. all this really made me more suspicious. talk to him awhile, his moid swing say u dont trust him. he said he want freedom, i never thinks of others made him no friend, no relatives. he eant to go co D&D, friends wedding etc i let him go as long as he is in spore i m ok. he secretly go made new passport, go jb with tt gal somemore. although i had no proof but when call his hp is off, call off they said he left already. didnt come home til next morning abt 9am tell me got to finish work then come hm i know all this r lies but cannot confront him. he did not even pay a single cents for the kids fees, insur, milk powder, diapers, etc. when press him keepon telling me give him one more yr. yrs n yrs had past still no progress. got money spend on EMA no money for the kids. :frustrated:

[tracytmks]

will a personadmit he is having EMA if family members asked him? the mum n sis ask him he keep denying no, just said not enough manpower need to do OT. will not admit until it is caught or have concrete proof izit true?

[ilovehermes]

My husband cheated on me for 10 months with another married co-worker. When he wanted to divorce me, he was extremely mean and hurtful to me. However when he broke off with her, it was done with considerations to her feelings. Although he is back with me now, I cannot help but feel jealous why he could be so mean to me but not her. What should I do? I hate myself for feeling this way as I want to move on.

[peapot]

Why do u hate yourself? You did nothing wrong and your feelings are normal. We are all human. We can’t shut off our feelings with a switch. Since he is back, you must forgiven him. It will take time to heal. Slowly but surely.