Advice - Divorce or Not to Divorce

[winth]

Windy:

I though only marry need alot of preparation, now I realised divorce also need alot of preparation. :roll:

Stay strong.
Your man's really an old-timer. He seems to already know what to keep 'secret' when he strays.
Remember don't blow your cover until you have consulted the professionals on your marriage.

[winth]

buds:

And the hurt stays.

There was once I caught DH viewing porn, wa... I kicked such a big fuss, confronted him the very next day and told him how much hurt and how much an insult it was to me.
He told me that he only viewed it on 2 occasions but no such thing lor. Porn is addictive.
Has been couple of years liao and he has never viewed it. How I know, hee... I installed a keylogger.

Now he's into computer games, so I thought it was a slightly better choice than those.

[mintcc]

Windy:

I was very touch to get all the advise and encouragement, as my hb ask me not to discuss this topic to any friends or relatives so I do not know who can I seek advise. Sould I get a PI as he said he definitely not having an affair, he said he just want to drink and chat with his kaki till 5am. If no affair, PI no use right. It cost alot too. I had a confession note for his act of adultery written and sign by him last year, is this enough?

I think it is not a matter of whether you are dominant enough...at least you are financially independent. If you really want a divorce, I think the things he had done are more then enough to divorce base on grounds of unreasonable behavior..but do talk to a lawyer first. I think there is a time limit unless you took some action.

And I don't think your husband has the right to ask you not to discuss this topic with friends and relatives. Whether to do so is your perogative. In the mean time, take care.

[mathsparks]

Hi Windy,

Mincy is right. You’ve the right to share yr troubles with anyone you choose. Find a close friend/sibling/relative and you’ll feel better by just confiding in someone close. Nobody, husbands included, have any right to restrict your "freedom of speech".

[Windy]

Thanks alot, I will be strong…

[MLR]

Hiya windy, my advise is to look within yourself and ask yourself what do you want. It is definately got to be one of the hardest decision to make, so do not do it in haste, got to analyse all aspects b4 you even decide to confront him, cos you need to cover all bases.


Its not easy to be honest with yourself, find the courage from within, you can do it. It got to be you yourself first, becos when you find that want in you, then the other part where children is concern will sort itself out. Your husband is definately the least of your concern for he disrespects you and the family. Got to push the hurt and fears aside, make time for yourself each day to think deep and hard, don’t force yourslef into corners, look beyond.

Stay strong and find the courage in you, theres always a HERO within.
Take care and you hv us here in the forum behind you, may not be in person, but definately in spirit and thoughts and prayers too.

[Fluffy]

Hi


Sometimes when we face challenges and problems,
we must trust our hearts, be brave and focus on moving beyond the limit of our mind and body. I get inspiration and courage from my children. My love for them spur me to overcome many difficulties. My love for myself teach me to be a better person by forgiving and loving others.

For we parents, children are usually the centre of our universal. We love them so much that we may have to take \"The Road Less Taken\".

My son recently composed a poem titled \"The Road Less Taken\". Apologise I can't reveal the poem yet as it is for his school literature project. It described the agony a person has to face which lead to a choice in the path which may be seldom trot on. This path may be filled with obstacles and difficulties. However, only the bravest will make this choice - \"The Road Less Taken\" in order to reach his goals and attain happiness.

My son is a Special Kid and often I will wrap a protective armour around him to shield him from further \"danger\" or lend him a helping hand so that he has an easier path to walk. I always treat him like a baby. Recently, I noticed he has matured alot after going Sec 1. With his composition of such mature poem, I believed its time to let go.

The hardest thing for many of us either as parents or spouse is knowing \"WHEN TO LET GO\".

[buds]

winth:

There was once I caught DH viewing porn, wa... I kicked such a big fuss, confronted him the very next day and told him how much hurt and how much an insult it was to me. He told me that he only viewed it on 2 occasions but no such thing lor. Porn is addictive. Has been couple of years liao and he has never viewed it. How I know, hee... I installed a keylogger.

Never ever underestimate the addiction to porn.
Curiosity kills the cat.

[skunk]

winth:

There was once I caught DH viewing porn, wa... I kicked such a big fuss, confronted him the very next day and told him how much hurt and how much an insult it was to me.
He told me that he only viewed it on 2 occasions but no such thing lor. Porn is addictive.
Has been couple of years liao and he has never viewed it. How I know, hee... I installed a keylogger.

both i and my wife watch hehe but not together, because she doesn't like the type i watch. usually i watch BBW. she says it's veri sick lol

[Windy]

Yesterday night, the china girl follow my husband home at 2.30am to look for me. We talked and realised that they having affair for more than a year and now my husband want to leave her but she don't want. However, my husband said he will not go for china girl anymore bec they control him and make him pay her money, so far, he had already spend about $12k on her. He don't favour divorce not bec love me but worry abt the maintanance. He said he will still want to continue with his night life but just don't touch those china pro.