All About Full-Time Maids

[Peace Charlie]

HI SMH forest


I’m in d same shoe…recently sent my fili maid off last wk…got a transfer indon still trying out she kept forgeting stuff i told her that she has to remember as i’ve got 3 kids to handle, she needs to bring them to school and get their stuff ready on time… i’v been training her for the last few days…but she kept apologising tat she cannot remember n her cooking are lousy…i find that what she lacks was confidence… she has been in sin for 10 mths looking after elderly…so shd be able to handle my chores, quite straightforward am clean up hse, when kids r up make sure they had their meals b4 tey go school. PM jus clean up and cooking for dinner yet still cannot remember but nowsday their quality is really bad…Teaching indo can kill my cells but fili are way too smart n lazy…

[SMH FOREST]

ZuEn, Minty Min..


Thanks for the kind words... :thankyou:

Peace Charlie...

:hugs: i hope your new indon works out... so, why did this indo leave the prev employer while taking care of elderly??

haizz... am having a maid drought situation... my 1st agency where i got my indon.. says no new bios available till AFTER Hari Raya! Faint.. how to wait so long?? whereas the agency where i got my fili... is trying to give me some bios... on sunday she let me interview one but again cmi... cos' never been a maid bef.. n i am not going to take anyone who hasnt been a maid bef even in their home country... cos' they will simply have no idea what being a housemaid is like! i had wanted to see if she has any indon bio, but she says must top up $200 for agency fee leh... walau ehhhh... really feel like i am being ripped off... sigh.. but she at least gives me call n sends me fili bios.. first agency no sound at all!! :roll:

have been cleaning my house on my own since sending off the fili.. and i have absolutely no time to bond with my boy cos of this... :sad: i have to leave him to play with his toys himself, let him watch tv or play w the ipad... and i simply hate it.. i can't leave too much dust ard for too many days cos of his asthma... and will need to wash his uniform and iron them daily.. and argghhh... am just hating the fact that the time spent with him now is sooo little!

[ZuEn]

I need to rant.

My mum is driving me crazy bcos of the maid. :frustrated:
I am a FTWM with 2 kids and my mum shifted in when I gave birth to DS 9 months ago. This is my 3rd PHL maid and she has been with us for the past 10 months.

Hb and I found her quite OK, can get by if we close one eye at times but recently my mum has been complaining and nagging about my maid very frequently. It has come to the point that whatever that my maid does irk my mum and my mum take it out on me for things that my maid do. :stupid: :slapshead:
My mum insists that the maid argues with her and is defiant towards my mum. The maid doesnt show the same attitude in front of me (if what my mum says is true lah). When I tried to reason with my mum or explain that it could be communication breakdown (my mum speaks really broken English), my mum jumped to the conclusion that I side the maid and misunderstood that I put the maid in higher regard than my mum. :torchme:
My mum wanted me to lecture my maid, which I openly did to show that I am not siding the maid but she is still not happy. I think it has come to the point that the mere presence of my maid irks my mum.

It might come to the point that I have to change this maid to get back my peaceful life. Both hb and I really feel that this maid is not too bad, no off day, no handphone, do housework pretty well and can play with my kids.

Really :stupid: :stupid: :stupid:

Haiz..

[UncleLim]

micollh:

Funx3:

Insurance for 14 months? :?
Thought std is 24+2 months?
No Diff in Premium, Right?

there have 2 types. one is 14th months, one is 26 moths.. another is extension (given that u have bought from the same company before). u can get this either from scanwell(tenet) or ntuc. last time my maid agentcy got from tenet. but i find their price higher, but they allowed refund if u return ur maid within 60 ot 90 days. ntuc no refund. for this time, i will get from ntuc cos i wont worry abt return maid mah.

14 months only hundre plus.. 26 months 200 plus.

Hi micollh,

Thanks for sharing. Can I trouble you to start a new thread/topic listing down the steps for renewing a work permit ? This will be very helpful to dummies like myself ! I paid many hundreds the previous time to the agency to get it done.

[beanstalk]

If you are very sure your helper is not hoodwinking you (since you're not around all the time), do what you can to keep her!


Since it's your mum, you can be straight with her (impossible if it were your MIL). Tell your mum that if you cannot find another good helper, you will have to stop work and there'll be loss of one income...and her allowance might have to be cut :evil:

Tell her to just limit communication with the helper and leave the disciplining to you. Plead with her to tahan the helper until the kids are more grown up and you all can do without one.

[ZuEn]

Beanstalk,

That is exactly what hb is thinking. He even suggest that he will talk to my mum but at the end of the day, I get the blunt of it bcos I am the daughter and he is the Son-in-law.

My mum now nags non-stop at me, repeating to me every evening (after work) and during the weekends about how the maid argues with her. For the same incident, my mum can repeat a few times. Otherwise, bcos the maid irks her, she talks to me sacarstically and drives me crazy. We had a meltdown in the past bcos of the maid during my maternity leave and I had to apologise to her eventually. I also thought it is not worth souring family ties over a maid.

I actually prefer her to discipline the maid directly leh. How to lash out at the maid for something that I didnt see? I also somehow think that the issues could be due to communication problem. In the past, similar occurences took place and when I confronted the maid, I get a different story. When I tried to explain to my mum, my mum thinks I side the maid.

My mum is helping us supervising the maid now. We are also worried that if she’s really pissed and decides that she doesnt want to help and shift back to my brother’s place, we are doomed. DS is still very young and we dont want to send the kids to CC bcos of our long working hours, which will mean that the kids will have to stay in the CC for long hours as well.

Hmmm… I guessed I must be one of the rare kind who have problems with my own mum. Haha.

[ZuEn]

I hope I will get the opportunity to speak nicely to her tonight.

Cannot explode, endure, endure, endure.
Hopefully, she will see that maids will be maids and dont expect too much from them. At least keep the maid until when DS is 18 months so that I can pack both of them to CC?

Wish me luck.

[Peace Charlie]

HI SMH Forest


D Indo maid is helping to cook and look after the elderly… but elderly has been scolding she’s d timid type even when i was telling my girls off she got a shock…i told her mus speak up so that kids will know if she kept her mouth shut how would d kids knows that lunch is ready for them… she came to me tis pm and told me mdm porridge cold already i told her off she shd tell d kids not me n u can see her eyes were teary… my previous Fili maid was too smart once u told her she will know and do it but will act to be forgetful at times…

ZuEn…
I know how u feel cos i was once like u…sandwich in between…i stayed wif my mil…she’s doesn’t like my previous maid which was with me for 8 yrs she’s very good with d kids till today my kids still remembers her… she’s good in her cooking, cleaning and multitasks too bad she decided to venture in taiwan… thus till today we cannot find a good loyal maid…

I’m a FTWM too…leaving my 3 kids with a stranger really scars me…i was tempting to put d kids in after school care but my girls refused as they might be lack of sleep and no freedom… thus I told my girls have to be smarter than this maid and react fast i’ve been brainwashing my girls with lots of emergency tips… SIGH keeping my finger cross…

[bzmum22]

ZuEn:

Beanstalk,

That is exactly what hb is thinking. He even suggest that he will talk to my mum but at the end of the day, I get the blunt of it bcos I am the daughter and he is the Son-in-law.

My mum now nags non-stop at me, repeating to me every evening (after work) and during the weekends about how the maid argues with her. For the same incident, my mum can repeat a few times. Otherwise, bcos the maid irks her, she talks to me sacarstically and drives me crazy. We had a meltdown in the past bcos of the maid during my maternity leave and I had to apologise to her eventually. I also thought it is not worth souring family ties over a maid.

I actually prefer her to discipline the maid directly leh. How to lash out at the maid for something that I didnt see? I also somehow think that the issues could be due to communication problem. In the past, similar occurences took place and when I confronted the maid, I get a different story. When I tried to explain to my mum, my mum thinks I side the maid.

My mum is helping us supervising the maid now. We are also worried that if she's really pissed and decides that she doesnt want to help and shift back to my brother's place, we are doomed. DS is still very young and we dont want to send the kids to CC bcos of our long working hours, which will mean that the kids will have to stay in the CC for long hours as well.

Hmmm... I guessed I must be one of the rare kind who have problems with my own mum. Haha.

You mean your mum cannot scold the maid when she argues with her? Like that cannot work. You will have to give your mum the authority to tell the maid wat to do and to tell the maid off if she does wrong, when you are not at home.
You need to tell your maid to respect your mum as the elder in the house. Tell your maid that your mum is the mother/boss of her boss (ie you). She will have to take instructions from your mum and learn to get along with her, cannot make her angry, cannot argue with her, else you cannot keep her.
Sometimes Mum makes noise 'cos she is seeking attention or she is tired. Probably, she feels that you haven't been appreciative of her efforts to help supervise your maid....you are taking her for granted. You need to show your appreciation more.
Anyhow, do bear in mind that maids do behave differently in front of employers. So cannot take maid's behaviour at face value. Eg. when my maid is in her ya-ya mood, and my mum questions my maid on something she has done. My maid can sound like she is damn pissed off with my mum when she replies my mum. Then she can go on to justify why she do things this way like she has every right to do things her own way, and this can really set my mum off. But she will never do that to me when I talk to her or when I'm within sight.
So you will need to ascertain whether wat your mum said is true lor and don't be blinded by your maid. Never show maid or mum that you are siding the maid. Can have very bad consequences. When your mum complains, just take the message. Don't need to justify to mum why maid behaves that way. Then go and tell your maid that you heard this from your mum. Don't need to ask if it is true or not 'cos you must always assume that your mum is correct. Just tell your maid your expectation on this issue and tell her you dun wan to hear another complaint from your mum abt this issue.

[ZuEn]

Peace Charlie,

Tat is why I think the maid has to go if things really dont work out. I can hardly tahan the nagging.

bzmum,
Judging by the way my mum talks to the maid, I am very sure that she scolds/ lectures/ tells the maid off when the maid pissed her. And I tell her to do so too. Yet for some reason, she wants me to do it again in her presence. I always tell my maid to just listen and dun argue with ah mah. Of course, the maid will tell me that she did not and the story often sounded like a miscommunication to me, which is possible given my mum’s poor english.

I guessed I just have to learn to trust my mum 100% even if the maid didnt do or intended to do what my mum said. At least if I appease my mum, I get peace. The most is that the maid quits. Then we just have to look for another one. At that time, I will also remind my mum that she joined forces with me, resulting her resignation.