New Daddy BLUES !! HELP NEEDED !!:pray:

EASON MAGPIES

ttwee1:
Wow you're a really good daddy! I am a new dad as well and my boy is 15 months old, i do not think i am doing as much as you for my boy. For one thing i do not bathe him.

Do not worry too much about the progress of your little girl, she will walk when it's time for her to walk. She will talk when it's time for her to talk. Every child starts making certain progress at their own timing. I remember i was especially worried when my boy couldn't crawl earlier and i was looking at facebook videos of similar age boys of my friends who were already learning to walk by holding on to sofas and beds. He's crawling like nobody's business now and learning to walk by pushing a playcart. Yea get one of those playcarts that can help encourage your girl to push and walk.

With regards to speech, you can try letting her watch some videos on youtube on phonics. I will try to paste some links for you tonight when i get home. I have it all in my browser marked as favourites. When my boy sees and hears them he goes hysterical all over.

With regards to issues of bonding, satyagraha made a very good point in highlighting an activity to your girl that only daddy knows and can do for her. For example in my case, my boy gets up in the morning expecting daddy to be the one to prepare milk for him and feed him. I feed him every morning before i go to work. At night when i come back from work, i will be the one to wrap a towel around him after mommy bathes him and carry him to his bed while mommy dries him. My boy will also expect me to be the one who then lies beside him on our bed and sees him to sleep.
Babies are creatures of habits and if you can arrange with your wife to segregate daily activities for your girl amongst the two of you consistently everyday it will help with your bonding with her.

Another thing to help you feel better is the knowledge that baby/toddler behaviour towards things/people change often over these initial years/months so don't worry too much if she's not responding much to you now. The next month may be a different picture altogether!

Good luck!

Thanks for sharing. Guess you are almost in the same shoe as me since your son is about my daughter age. My parents commented maybe at this period son would want the daddy more.

I dont know if sex makes a difference.

I wanted to make the habit of bring her for a walk everyday I come home so I try my best not to leave work too late and also not go out for dinner and evening activities with friends. I thought by doing so will then make it a habit and she will wait eagerly everyday for daddy to bring her down but it did not turn out that way.

One reason could be my dad brings her for walk every morning as we lived very near my parents.

I just pray things get better ~~

Chenonceau

Neither of my kids took to their Daddy when they were little. He didn’t know HOW to engage them… he didn’t smell as good as Mommy… his arms were hard and muscular (not soft and warm)… he didn’t feed them their milk (a time of comfort). Like it or not, these ARE some of the yardsticks by which toddlers judge the adults around them.

When DD grew up to about 4 or 5, my daughter realized that mommy was limited in many ways. For one thing, I wasn’t any good at running around and breaking a sweat. I had no patience with play of any sort. Soon, she found things that she could do with Daddy that I wasn’t good at. According to her newly revised yardstick of what makes a nice adult, Daddy began to look much better.

So maybe… dun push it as yet. Your child will evolve possibly, to appreciate your role in her life. Right now it’s still all about soft arms and milk and comforting smells.

ttwee1

EASON MAGPIES:

Thanks for sharing. Guess you are almost in the same shoe as me since your son is about my daughter age. My parents commented maybe at this period son would want the daddy more.

I dont know if sex makes a difference.

I wanted to make the habit of bring her for a walk everyday I come home so I try my best not to leave work too late and also not go out for dinner and evening activities with friends. I thought by doing so will then make it a habit and she will wait eagerly everyday for daddy to bring her down but it did not turn out that way.

One reason could be my dad brings her for walk every morning as we lived very near my parents.

I just pray things get better ~~

I am not too sure sex makes any difference at such a tender age though i have heard girls tend to get closer to daddy and boys to mommy. Opposites attract maybe?

You're doing a lot to try to foster a close bonding with your girl but as in anything else dun try too hard, take things naturally and understand all these issues are just a passing phase. I am pretty sure your girl will understand how dear her daddy is to her as she grows. For my case i am just very happy to know that my boy is happy and healthy.

Oh yes here are some links from youtube i promise to share, you can show them to your girl daily to encourage her to learn new words and to sing along. You can echo the songs together with her as you get familiar with it, do it with actions and she will mimic what you are doing before you know it.

MadScientist

Thanks for the links... useful for me too.

About the gender attractions...

Mine are all ok with me. Guess I am very strict, and I play very fun too!

EASON MAGPIES

ttwee1:
EASON MAGPIES:

Thanks for sharing. Guess you are almost in the same shoe as me since your son is about my daughter age. My parents commented maybe at this period son would want the daddy more.

I dont know if sex makes a difference.

I wanted to make the habit of bring her for a walk everyday I come home so I try my best not to leave work too late and also not go out for dinner and evening activities with friends. I thought by doing so will then make it a habit and she will wait eagerly everyday for daddy to bring her down but it did not turn out that way.

One reason could be my dad brings her for walk every morning as we lived very near my parents.

I just pray things get better ~~
I am not too sure sex makes any difference at such a tender age though i have heard girls tend to get closer to daddy and boys to mommy. Opposites attract maybe?

You're doing a lot to try to foster a close bonding with your girl but as in anything else dun try too hard, take things naturally and understand all these issues are just a passing phase. I am pretty sure your girl will understand how dear her daddy is to her as she grows. For my case i am just very happy to know that my boy is happy and healthy.

Oh yes here are some links from youtube i promise to share, you can show them to your girl daily to encourage her to learn new words and to sing along. You can echo the songs together with her as you get familiar with it, do it with actions and she will mimic what you are doing before you know it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsfoveoJwbs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XYQd_sJVzk&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx5GWCgklhw&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saF3-f0XWAY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BELlZKpi1Zs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dk9Yt1PqQiw&annotation_id=annotation_915706
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_tWEayqHKk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRXsC1J4jJM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-DRyIqh0g0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3S3OX6HQm4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_mol6B9z00&feature=related

Yes now I am also learning to take it easy.

Thanks for the videos especially the 1st one.

I do let my daughter watch youtube everyday too. Some of the videos are the same as those on your list. She loved it and would really sit still and watch.

I shall share my links too as some are different from yours. My daughter loves the flashcard videos too.

That gives me an idea. Perhaps I should start a thread and we can all share our youtube videos...:-)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XlUvA73a1B8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQyfcfA1cDc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mlp4O0pyVWg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MApaegDL6a0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTXCJQP2Azw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImeyB7YCBSQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kF0F5B2nbMo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGgsklW-mtg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtN1YnoL46Q

satyagraha

Youtube is such a godsend, isn’t it? I love it too.

Just to share my view on AV materials. Just my personal opinion.

I often hear people say that their (grand)kids watch tv everyday. If they were to disallow them to watch, there’ll be a period of unhappiness for all. And the caregivers will usually end off with "sigh… they are used to watching tv already."

Watching tv program is not exactly a habit, I feel. It’s just that the kids had been conditioned to "learn from the box". With the colorful, ever-changing visual stimulation and beautiful music / voice, PLUS the figure of security (beloved whoever) by their side lovingly / quietly (instead of nagging), the BOX is associated to "feel good".

And if they were to repeat what they watched, the adults will go "WOO… AAHH… my baby is so clever!!" with their smiles from ear-to-ear. And as they grow, they’ll continue to do so. Why not, since it’s gonna make the caregivers happy.

But alas, as they grow, expectations are different.

So seriously, we can’t blame the kids for getting glued to the box (note that I am referring the box to both tv & computer). They were conditioned since young. And because time is spent in front of the box, they had lesser time to create play for themselves. In the long run, they lose the ability to play by themselves and had to rely on gadgets.

In short, AV materials are useful but I’d advice parents to use them randomly and not as a daily routine. Just my personal opinion.

EASON MAGPIES

I do wonder about the bad effects too but these days I guess humans as a whole rely too much on gadgets. I myself are on the net every day before I sleep.

More importantly we have peace when we show her you tube. My wife use it so she can sit still and she finds it easier to feed her.

We use it again so me and my wife can have peaceful dinner together.

However we also bring her for walk and be around nature every day so hope we can balance it out.

MadScientist

Be careful making it a habit…

My SIL kids are like that… Addicted, and no TV, no eat.

satyagraha

EASON MAGPIES:
I do wonder about the bad effects too but these days I guess humans as a whole rely too much on gadgets. I myself are on the net every day before I sleep.

More importantly we have peace when we show her you tube. My wife use it so she can sit still and she finds it easier to feed her.

We use it again so me and my wife can have peaceful dinner together.

However we also bring her for walk and be around nature every day so hope we can balance it out.

If everyone is at peace with the gadgets, then I guess that is fine. I brought this up as I hear caregivers finding it difficult to limit box time as the child grows and they felt vexed yet can't do much.

Nothing is wrong with spending time infront of the box, it's the intention. Make it a daily routine, you may risk addiction. Make it a hush-hush
helpline, the child is not given the opportunities to learn about self, others and surrounding.

Just my thought. Pardon for digressing from your thread.

RRMummy

Hi Eason M,

It is heart-warming to know a father who wants to bond so much.

I agree totally in spending quality time with your little one and what Chenoceau said also applied to both my gals..

But just a little something off my head...in your eagerness to bond, maybe you should not pull her away from Mummy to spend quality time together. I'm just wondering if it will kinda backfire if you push too hard coz she will feel that once you come home you will try to tear her away from mummy dearest.

I would suggest instead to do fun and silly things together just the 3 of you. Sing and dance together. Make Sunday your family outing day either to fly kites, go to playgrounds, etc etc. Let her see that she does not have to choose mummy instead of daddy.

When the gals were your DD's age and younger, my DH will swing them like an aeroplane or throw them around and tickle them silly when he gets home.. they gradually grew to realize that mummy had no such strenght to play like that.. so DH became THE one they looked for when they wanted to play. As for me, I still remain to be the one they will definitely prefer for bedtime. :love:

It will take time, she may ignore you for awhile when mama's around but hang in there. It is said by many that little girls will always grow to be closer to their daddies. :roll:

New Daddy BLUES !! HELP NEEDED !!:pray:

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