In-law problems?

[jedamum]

you can consider moving in with them. but i would suggest you keep your house (ie dont sell your house and move in with them), in case you have second thoughts later.

i am not in the favour of selling the flat and buy a house (be it private property) with them even if it make more financial sense. not at the moment when the kids are young and potential conflict in childrearing views. but may not be a concern when the kids are all grown up and when you have aged.

[kiddo]

Not easy to move in with in-laws, all aspect very different,

my in-laws are superb to get along but still living together
is a different matter, not that they or intentionally create trouble
is just the \"too close for comfort\" .

Just my take - \"best to live peacefully\" whether together
or not ... no need another issue to solve :hi5:

[ectanz]

mmlim:

Hi ectanz, my PIL suggested for me and hb to move in with them. My hb was moved and I can see his wish to do so, but I am a tad worried after reading all these threads.

Hi mmlim, not every MIL is as \"bad\" as wat u read in those postings. I hv heard somes cases tat PIL n DIL r living together in perfect harmony. Of coz, both parties will hv to learn to give and take. No easy! Really hv to Very hard!

Btw, is yr hb the only son? If yes, then it might be quite difficult to reject their suggestion. Given a choice, better to stay near than together.

I hv a gf who was previously staying with her PIL while waiting for their flat. She was asked to do chores after work. She had to clean up all the mess in kitchen even she was not having dinner at hm. She endured for almost 3 yrs until she got her flat. Although her PIL kept dropping hints to stay with them but my gf juz act dumb n :siam:

[janet88]

mmlim:

Hi ectanz, my PIL suggested for me and hb to move in with them. My hb was moved and I can see his wish to do so, but I am a tad worried after reading all these threads.

Even if your PILs are not the scary type...it's still much better to be 'hi-and-bye' than staying together...同住难. Definitely better to have 2 households than living under one roof together.

[Angelight]

I totally agree with janet, unless your MIL is one of those rare ones who treats/loves you like her own daughter…

[sall]

At first, the PIL will all say the same things - can help look after the kids, can help cook, do housework… After shifting in, then the NIGHTMARE begins…

[janet88]

sall:

At first, the PIL will all say the same things - can help look after the kids, can help cook, do housework... After shifting in, then the NIGHTMARE begins...

If they shift into YOUR place, it becomes THEIRS because they feel that the house belongs to their son...if you shift into THEIR house, obviously you will feel like an outsider. Initially the first few months will be sweet with them cooking and doing housework, but my worry for you is only a matter of time they get fed-up and you lose your say and freedom. Do consider properly.

[Kippletoon]

janet_lee88:

sall:

At first, the PIL will all say the same things - can help look after the kids, can help cook, do housework... After shifting in, then the NIGHTMARE begins...

If they shift into YOUR place, it becomes THEIRS because they feel that the house belongs to their son...if you shift into THEIR house, obviously you will feel like an outsider. Initially the first few months will be sweet with them cooking and doing housework, but my worry for you is only a matter of time they get fed-up and you lose your say and freedom. Do consider properly.

I totally agree with janet_lee88 as I am stuck in the scenario she described above. Mil behaves like she is the queen of the household. My friends put simply ' 请神容易送神难'.

[ectanz]

Kippletoon:

janet_lee88:

[quote=\"sall\"]At first, the PIL will all say the same things - can help look after the kids, can help cook, do housework... After shifting in, then the NIGHTMARE begins...

If they shift into YOUR place, it becomes THEIRS because they feel that the house belongs to their son...if you shift into THEIR house, obviously you will feel like an outsider. Initially the first few months will be sweet with them cooking and doing housework, but my worry for you is only a matter of time they get fed-up and you lose your say and freedom. Do consider properly.

I totally agree with janet_lee88 as I am stuck in the scenario she described above. Mil behaves like she is the queen of the household. My friends put simply ' 请神容易送神难'.[/quote]Initially my MIL even suggested to my hb b4 to purchase a landed property together with my BIL (her elder son) n stay all together under one roof. Immediately I :siam: . Not only it is difficult to stay together with my PIL but with more ppls staying together, it becomes more complicated especially money matter involves.

[Flowermonaster]

Hi, I’m new in this thread. My mum is one of the "difficult" MILs. I love my mum dont be mistaken but she is still very difficult to live with. Luckily all my SILs do not have to live with her and my mum also refuse to stay with anyone of them despite my elder brother’s invitation.

My mum is a good cook but she is terrible in disciplining/teaching her grandchildren. She has no patient. When the child cries, she will try to pacify the kid for a minute or so and will gets irritated when it fails to work. She will then comment the kid very naughty and difficult to take care.
She always think that she is a good MIL but she didn’t know that she loves to criticize her DILs behind their back to her daughters. If her DIL or Son-I-L offended her unknowingly, she will give them cold shoulder. She will help out When my elder SIL fall sick but will definitely commented something bad about her to us. I dont know if my SIL prefer her not to help as we did not openly discuss on this. My mum don’t openly tell them but she will nag & nag in front of us or call us to complaint. My DH will always agree to whatever my mum said so as to make her happy. My elder SIL will just ignore her as she knows that whatever she do, my mum will not be happy. My younger SIL was under my mum’s attack a few years ago for not able to give birth. Luckily she has given birth to a healthy BB girl 6mths ago.
My mum is not only harsh to her DIL, she is equally harsh with her own daughters. But in my heart I know that she meant well to all of us. It’s just that she wants everyone to follow her, to please her.
My English is not so good so do pardon me for any mistake here.