In-law problems?

[bigsnoopy]

mmlim:

Hi ectanz, my PIL suggested for me and hb to move in with them. My hb was moved and I can see his wish to do so, but I am a tad worried after reading all these threads.

I would advise against it no matter how tempting it might look... I too had no problems with ILs until I moved in but then I quickly :siam: but the damage is alrdy there...

[auntieM]

mmlim:

Hi ectanz, my PIL suggested for me and hb to move in with them. My hb was moved and I can see his wish to do so, but I am a tad worried after reading all these threads.

Really have to think over very seriously.. ..living together is not so 'simple', and you will lose your privacy and freedom too.. ..

[jedamum]

you can consider moving in with them. but i would suggest you keep your house (ie dont sell your house and move in with them), in case you have second thoughts later.

i am not in the favour of selling the flat and buy a house (be it private property) with them even if it make more financial sense. not at the moment when the kids are young and potential conflict in childrearing views. but may not be a concern when the kids are all grown up and when you have aged.

[kiddo]

Not easy to move in with in-laws, all aspect very different,

my in-laws are superb to get along but still living together
is a different matter, not that they or intentionally create trouble
is just the \"too close for comfort\" .

Just my take - \"best to live peacefully\" whether together
or not ... no need another issue to solve :hi5:

[ectanz]

mmlim:

Hi ectanz, my PIL suggested for me and hb to move in with them. My hb was moved and I can see his wish to do so, but I am a tad worried after reading all these threads.

Hi mmlim, not every MIL is as \"bad\" as wat u read in those postings. I hv heard somes cases tat PIL n DIL r living together in perfect harmony. Of coz, both parties will hv to learn to give and take. No easy! Really hv to Very hard!

Btw, is yr hb the only son? If yes, then it might be quite difficult to reject their suggestion. Given a choice, better to stay near than together.

I hv a gf who was previously staying with her PIL while waiting for their flat. She was asked to do chores after work. She had to clean up all the mess in kitchen even she was not having dinner at hm. She endured for almost 3 yrs until she got her flat. Although her PIL kept dropping hints to stay with them but my gf juz act dumb n :siam:

[janet88]

mmlim:

Hi ectanz, my PIL suggested for me and hb to move in with them. My hb was moved and I can see his wish to do so, but I am a tad worried after reading all these threads.

Even if your PILs are not the scary type...it's still much better to be 'hi-and-bye' than staying together...同住难. Definitely better to have 2 households than living under one roof together.

[Angelight]

I totally agree with janet, unless your MIL is one of those rare ones who treats/loves you like her own daughter…

[sall]

At first, the PIL will all say the same things - can help look after the kids, can help cook, do housework… After shifting in, then the NIGHTMARE begins…

[janet88]

sall:

At first, the PIL will all say the same things - can help look after the kids, can help cook, do housework... After shifting in, then the NIGHTMARE begins...

If they shift into YOUR place, it becomes THEIRS because they feel that the house belongs to their son...if you shift into THEIR house, obviously you will feel like an outsider. Initially the first few months will be sweet with them cooking and doing housework, but my worry for you is only a matter of time they get fed-up and you lose your say and freedom. Do consider properly.

[Kippletoon]

janet_lee88:

sall:

At first, the PIL will all say the same things - can help look after the kids, can help cook, do housework... After shifting in, then the NIGHTMARE begins...

If they shift into YOUR place, it becomes THEIRS because they feel that the house belongs to their son...if you shift into THEIR house, obviously you will feel like an outsider. Initially the first few months will be sweet with them cooking and doing housework, but my worry for you is only a matter of time they get fed-up and you lose your say and freedom. Do consider properly.

I totally agree with janet_lee88 as I am stuck in the scenario she described above. Mil behaves like she is the queen of the household. My friends put simply ' 请神容易送神难'.