Inconsiderate people - what would you do?
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Angelight:
I'm just stating facts. You don't have to take it too personal.You were not at the scene, so pls don't pass judgmental remark that my mum was \"lecturing\" the inconsiderate couple. To you and that guy, it may sound like a lecture, but to others it's a fair comment (he is INDEED sitting on a reserved seat and refused to give up his seat to a elderly), so it's very subjective whether the comment is a lecture or not.
The thing is, Why can't the needy just say \"May I have the seat? Please?\", instead of \"This seat is for someone with special needs\".
If you still don't get it, look at it this way, you're pointing out to someone that they're wrong, and generally pple don't like it this way. In the end, your mom doesn't get the seat and instead got angry. is it worth it?
The word \"lecture\" doesn't meant scolding someone. It just meant you're telling someone that he did something wrong. The fact is that your mom is giving a critical statement more than making a \"request\". It's not necessary to be at the scene to judge the kind of response that she can expect. And I'm not assuming that the tone is harsh.. but it probably doesn't sound too pleasant to invoke that kind of response, maybe? And quite obviously, the magical word is missing..
Towards a gracious society, I feel that not only the able can be gracious, but the needy can also be gracious and request for assistance when they need it.. In a PROPER way..
Anyway, it's okay if what I say doesn't makes sense to you. And certainty it is nothing personal. Just want to highlight that the needy should adopt a correct attitude. They should view it that someone giving up their seat to them is a privilege, not an entitlement. -
if i am given a seat, i would treat it as a thoughtful gesture which i will express my gratitude through words and body language. i’ve given up seats to pregnant ladies, old and infirmed but what turns me off is the "i’m entitled to it" body language and not even a murmur of thanks. for those who don’t thank me for my gesture, i only have pity for them cos they probably didn’t have anyone to guide them in their upbringing.
thus giving up seat is but a personal consideration and those in needs should not treat it as an entitlement. -
LKVM:
I ever tried to give my reserved seat to some lady whom I thought was pregnant but she became paiseh and said no she isnt preggie... so how now?
haha, happened to me before. that was like in the late 80s or early 90s when baby doll dress and long flowing dress were the rage. you really cant tell if they are pregnant.
offered this lady my seat on the mrt and lady wasnt too happy snapped \"i am not pregnant\". that time, me very young so felt paiseh. now come to think of it, why should i be paiseh????
actually i have seen pregnant ladies wearing high heels (even skinny heels) and i sometimes wonder do they really deserve the seat. -
recently in a ulu airport in a big country
the airline has a mini bus to ferry their 'vip' pax
one particular flight i was in happened to have so many vip pax, so one bus was not enough
after we deplaned, we all got into the first bus but there is a problem
someone insist his bag must be on the seat next to him but there is no other seat
so no choice got to tell him within earshot of everyone in the bus : the seat is for human, not for bag
sorry did not know he was some official but he threw his own face lah ....... not my fault ... :rotflmao: :evil: :evil: -
in spore, the person who put his/her bag on the seat, would just stared at you and looked away or pretend to fall asleep.
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verykiasu2010:
Haha. So how did you find out he was some official. kacang official or vip?recently in a ulu airport in a big country
the airline has a mini bus to ferry their 'vip' pax
one particular flight i was in happened to have so many vip pax, so one bus was not enough
after we deplaned, we all got into the first bus but there is a problem
someone insist his bag must be on the seat next to him but there is no other seat
so no choice got to tell him within earshot of everyone in the bus : the seat is for human, not for bag
sorry did not know he was some official but he threw his own face lah ....... not my fault ... :rotflmao: :evil: :evil: -
jtoh:
his boss got car come to tarmac to fetch him at the foot of the steps coming down from the plane, we lesser mortal take coach lor ... :rotflmao:
Haha. So how did you find out he was some official. kacang official or vip?verykiasu2010:
recently in a ulu airport in a big country
the airline has a mini bus to ferry their 'vip' pax
one particular flight i was in happened to have so many vip pax, so one bus was not enough
after we deplaned, we all got into the first bus but there is a problem
someone insist his bag must be on the seat next to him but there is no other seat
so no choice got to tell him within earshot of everyone in the bus : the seat is for human, not for bag
sorry did not know he was some official but he threw his own face lah ....... not my fault ... :rotflmao: :evil: :evil: -
verykiasu2010:
his boss got car come to tarmac to fetch him at the foot of the steps coming down from the plane, we lesser mortal take coach lor ... :rotflmao:[/quote]Maybe he has a few million cash inside his bag? You should have offered to carry on your lap while seated on that seat.
Haha. So how did you find out he was some official. kacang official or vip?jtoh:
[quote=\"verykiasu2010\"]recently in a ulu airport in a big country
the airline has a mini bus to ferry their 'vip' pax
one particular flight i was in happened to have so many vip pax, so one bus was not enough
after we deplaned, we all got into the first bus but there is a problem
someone insist his bag must be on the seat next to him but there is no other seat
so no choice got to tell him within earshot of everyone in the bus : the seat is for human, not for bag
sorry did not know he was some official but he threw his own face lah ....... not my fault ... :rotflmao: :evil: :evil:
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limlim:
While I agree with you people in need should also show courtesy when they need help, I have a varying perspective in that I would tend to cut them some slack, we do not have to feel so equal all the time. Not all needy people have this phenomenon but my take is that typically a needy person, the temperament may not be as good. For example, my aging mum is very edgy at times and I don't think she wills it but sometimes she cannot help it. Her aging body sometimes misbehaves and causes her some discomfort. So far she could control her temperament outside but at home, we get the full colours of it. Her legs are weakening by the day and I think it is a miserable feeling. So for old people, I naturally cut them some slack. Of course there can be super fit 70-80 YOs around, but I won't second-guess their state of health. If they are irritable but not extremely rude as in hollering at me and sending me abusive words, I would take the initiative to smile and offer the seat. It does not hurt to show more graciousness towards the weaker and needy ones. The fact that designated seats are made for them, it is to help them avoid such situations, yet the able-bodied guy created a situation. He had given a negative demo to his son in the train incident. In future it may not be anyone else but the son telling the parents in turn, \"I need the seat, both of you can stand.\" The father reaps what he sows. This was in fact a good opportunity of a teaching point for the son but the dad missed it.
I'm just stating facts. You don't have to take it too personal.Angelight:
You were not at the scene, so pls don't pass judgmental remark that my mum was \"lecturing\" the inconsiderate couple. To you and that guy, it may sound like a lecture, but to others it's a fair comment (he is INDEED sitting on a reserved seat and refused to give up his seat to a elderly), so it's very subjective whether the comment is a lecture or not.
The thing is, Why can't the needy just say \"May I have the seat? Please?\", instead of \"This seat is for someone with special needs\".
If you still don't get it, look at it this way, you're pointing out to someone that they're wrong, and generally pple don't like it this way. In the end, your mom doesn't get the seat and instead got angry. is it worth it?
The word \"lecture\" doesn't meant scolding someone. It just meant you're telling someone that he did something wrong. The fact is that your mom is giving a critical statement more than making a \"request\". It's not necessary to be at the scene to judge the kind of response that she can expect. And I'm not assuming that the tone is harsh.. but it probably doesn't sound too pleasant to invoke that kind of response, maybe? And quite obviously, the magical word is missing..
Towards a gracious society, I feel that not only the able can be gracious, but the needy can also be gracious and request for assistance when they need it.. In a PROPER way..
Anyway, it's okay if what I say doesn't makes sense to you. And certainty it is nothing personal. Just want to highlight that the needy should adopt a correct attitude. They should view it that someone giving up their seat to them is a privilege, not an entitlement.
On the other hand, I can see the scenario the man could have been in. He got into the MRT, only reserved seat available, he sat with his son, wife standing. Then a seat was available for wife and she sat down. So if we know the sequence of events, they might not have wanted to sit in this way. So standing from his angle, he must have felt angry why he was being pressured to give up his seat when his son was in fact with him to be entitled to the seat. Everyone sees this the reserved seat as his/her rights. Of course if this man was a bit more calm and collected and not try to measure everything in terms of equality, he could have stood up and passed his son over to the wife and then stood on his own. Alas, we are all humans....emotions got the better of us and equality seems very important. -
ksi:
It's good to have a different perspective.. thanks for sharing.. maybe we can take note of that..
While I agree with you people in need should also show courtesy when they need help, I have a varying perspective in that I would tend to cut them some slack, we do not have to feel so equal all the time. Not all needy people have this phenomenon but my take is that typically a needy person, the temperament may not be as good. For example, my aging mum is very edgy at times and I don't think she wills it but sometimes she cannot help it. Her aging body sometimes misbehaves and causes her some discomfort. So far she could control her temperament outside but at home, we get the full colours of it. Her legs are weakening by the day and I think it is a miserable feeling. So for old people, I naturally cut them some slack. Of course there can be super fit 70-80 YOs around, but I won't second-guess their state of health. If they are irritable but not extremely rude as in hollering at me and sending me abusive words, I would take the initiative to smile and offer the seat. It does not hurt to show more graciousness towards the weaker and needy ones.
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