Kiasu society--> kiasu child--> death & tragedy

[ZacK]

I wonder how much influence does computer games have on the suicide of the 2 boys who jumped down so that they could be \"slayers\" during World War III? '


Or this is what the media wants us to believe?

:?

[winth]

jedamum:

kiasikiasu:

Well, the fact that this very website exists, is testament to the fact that you yourself are already a part of the flock. Welcome to Singapore.

and your point is?

Nothing in particular.

Re-living some exchanges (or whatever that's left) from the troll.

[BlurBee]

Latest news today.

\"FORTY-EIGHT young persons under 21 years old committed suicide over the last three years. Fourteen took their own lives in 2008, 19 in 2007 and 15 in 2006.\"

Life is so stress???

[Funguy71]

tamarind:

The root of the problem is actually his addiction to computer games. If his parents have done something about his addiction, then they would have saved his life.
....

I see the same thing happening to my young adult students now. They need their computers when they study, and that makes things worst. It is so easy to switch from school work to computer games.

Parents should do what is necessary for their kids, even though it may be drastic.

Family support is very important even though our children have been growing up. Parenthood is life time JOB. I think we parent can only relax and hands off for our children when we have grandchildren. But by that time we will start to worry for grandchildren. Haha... no ending JOB!

[tamarind]

zack:

I wonder how much influence does computer games have on the suicide of the 2 boys who jumped down so that they could be \"slayers\" during World War III? '


Or this is what the media wants us to believe?

Peer pressure definitely plays a bigger role here. The violence in the games make the boys think that death is glorious, and that there is nothing to be afraid of, until they face death in reality.
IMHO boys mature slower than girls, parents must pay more attention to boys !

Funguy71:

Family support is very important even though our children have been growing up. Parenthood is life time JOB. I think we parent can only relax and hands off for our children when we have grandchildren. But by that time we will start to worry for grandchildren. Haha... no ending JOB!

I agree that parenting is a no ending job !

I can imagine myself sitting beside my kids as they study in front of their computer, even when they are over 20 years old ! It may sound drastic, but once the kids are addicted to games, it is very difficult to take the games away from them. They can pretend to be studying, then once you walk away, they will switch to games. When they sense that you are nearby, they immediately switch back to studying. This is exactly what my young adult students are doing in classes.

I tell myself that I can relax after my kids graduate from university. After they get their degrees, they can play computer games all day and all night if they want. I am not going to care. They can learn their lesson when they lose their jobs. They can always find another job and start all over again. But studying is different. If they fail a subject in university, they are going to have problem finding jobs in the first place.

[ZacK]

tamarind:

Peer pressure definitely plays a bigger role here. The violence in the games make the boys think that death is glorious, and that there is nothing to be afraid of, until they face death in reality.

IMHO boys mature slower than girls, parents must pay more attention to boys !

I am sad, being a parent, that lives are lost like that... It's not that they had no choice, in fact thru some warped theory that one of them concocted... They decided that death is glorious.

I guess the take away for me from this lesson, parents must be aware of who their kids hang out with (not to the extent of making them feel that they are being tied-down); getting to know their friends; inviting the friends to come over to our house on occasions etc... Most importantly for parents to be \"friends\" with our kids so that they will not be inhibited from sharing what they do with us.

Not always easy (DS1 at his age of 6 already knows how to filter what he tells us and what not to tell us :roll: ) but certainly something that all parents need to work towards.

IMO

[ChiefKiasu]

ZacK:

I am sad, being a parent, that lives are lost like that... It's not that they had no choice, in fact thru some warped theory that one of them concocted... They decided that death is glorious...

Aside from the tragic nature of the incident, I will have to say that this is a strange case. It is quite apparent the the leader truly believe in his role or destiny as a medium or \"demon slayer\", and was able to convince his friends to believe him. I don't see him as being \"bad\" as in evil. I see him as being seriously misguided for whatever reasons. He did not force his friends to go through with something he had decided for himself. It is unlike the situation in most of the mass cult suicides that happen sparodically even in advanced societies like the US and Japan, where the leader require his followers to die along with everyone else.

It is sad that he has chosen to believe in something so destructive, otherwise, it is possible that if he had been properly guided to redirect his convictions to more worthy causes, he could have been a great leader. Perhaps we should try to identify the sources for his ideas so that we can recognize their danger and take the necessary actions to counsel other teenagers that are veering towards the same path.

[foreverj]

BlurBee:

Latest news today.

\"FORTY-EIGHT young persons under 21 years old committed suicide over the last three years. Fourteen took their own lives in 2008, 19 in 2007 and 15 in 2006.\"

Life is so stress???

i m surprised they release such statistics. becos very often, its reading such news that people under the same category eg. under 21 yrs old who r considering committing suicide wil actually do it. maybe they feel they r not alone and if there are others like them who face problems in life and took their own lives, they may follow suit.

its very sad n we wil never be able to comprehend what these young people had gone thru that pushed them over the edge. i suspect some of these may have suffered from some degree of depression. and when its a sickness that is not treated, u cannot treat them like rational individuals. of course, family's and friends' love and support is paramount other than drugs :love:

[ZacK]

ChiefKiasu:

ZacK:

I am sad, being a parent, that lives are lost like that... It's not that they had no choice, in fact thru some warped theory that one of them concocted... They decided that death is glorious...

Aside from the tragic nature of the incident, I will have to say that this is a strange case. It is quite apparent the the leader truly believe in his role or destiny as a medium or \"demon slayer\", and was able to convince his friends to believe him. I don't see him as being \"bad\" as in evil. I see him as being seriously misguided for whatever reasons. He did not force his friends to go through with something he had decided for himself. It is unlike the situation in most of the mass cult suicides that happen sparodically even in advanced societies like the US and Japan, where the leader require his followers to die along with everyone else.

It is sad that he has chosen to believe in something so destructive, otherwise, it is possible that if he had been properly guided to redirect his convictions to more worthy causes, he could have been a great leader. Perhaps we should try to identify the sources for his ideas so that we can recognize their danger and take the necessary actions to counsel other teenagers that are veering towards the same path.

I can see your point and do agree with you. He is not bad just \"misguided\" ... Does not help that the teen leader is a medium as well, thus the strong belief in things supernatural.

It's really hard to read into the psyche of the teen leader, most times, we try to get our kids motivated and focused on doing something to the end... This boy really carried it to the extreme.

Fortunately for the rest of the gang, save for one other boy, they came to their senses in time.

May not be easy to identify the dangers:
- Would be an addiction to gaming that resulted in them been absorbed into a realm of their own?
- Belief in the supernatural?
- Or other factors that we may not be privy to :skeptical:

What I hope to be able to do is to teach my DSs to be discerning, to be able to discern right from wrong... Havent got it figured on how I should do this, would it be to expose them to various scenarios and case studies and lead them to a discussion on what is appropriate and what is not for each scenario? Engage them in a discussion on right/wrong when we encounter certain scenarios in everyday life? :?

Another issue which I would like to emphasize strongly to them is the element of safety and learning how to keep themselves safe... Hopefully by emphasizing on this enough, it would trigger their natural \"self-defense\" mechanism at the crucial moments they may encounter later, to know how to keep themselves safe and also do the \"right\" thing. Again can only think of daily situations where I will point out to them so that they will be aware e.g.
1. Importance of being belted in a moving car (DS1 sticks to this w/o fail);
2. Importance of staying away from the kitchen (DS1 only entered the kitchen for the very first time recently and only to the fridge which is just at the door of the kitchen, since young we barred him from going near the kitchen due to the presence of knives and hot water etc, we explained to him and he understands);
3. Importance of staying clear of grill-less windows (Wonder if we are making DS1 paranoid... He even stays away from glass panes at the shopping malls and would always walk on the inside away from the ledge)

Just trying to think, if my kids were in the same situation in the bedroom of the teen leader, that my constant emphasize and reminder that there is nothing more important than keeping themselves safe from harm... Would it have been enough to help them snap out of whatever \"fantasy land\" they are in that could potentially endanger their lives?

Just thinking out loud... No basis to my course of action... Seriously hoping it won't be tested on my kids actually

[tamarind]

Zack:

Just trying to think, if my kids were in the same situation in the bedroom of the teen leader, that my constant emphasize and reminder that there is nothing more important than keeping themselves safe from harm... Would it have been enough to help them snap out of whatever \"fantasy land\" they are in that could potentially endanger their lives?

I don't think that is enough. Teenagers really dislike parents/teachers nagging at them and any constant reminder will have zero effect. In fact, teenage boys like to try their best to do what their parents tell them not to do.

One way is to let the teenager understand pain and suffering. It is difficult to let our kids experience pain, no parents are willing to let them break an arm or a leg.

The best I could do is to let my little girl touch the ironing board to feel how hot it is, so she knows what she should not come close to a hot iron.

I believe that reading good books, which describe the pain and suffering, and the effects of a person's death on the people who love him, should be effective. Good movies which show that death is really a horrifying and painful experience, should help too. But at the moment I cannot think of any such movies. It is difficult to find a movie which does not glorify or trivialize death nowadays.