Sometimes Single Parent?

[momoshop]

rainbows:

i find this unbelieveable! cos if he doesn't bond with the kids then the relationship with the daddy will be fragile. but i'm wrong. both my kids are very attached and listen to every word the daddy said. whilst me, they 'sort of' ignore me.

i'm speechless. maybe being a 'single mum' at night sometimes is no good enough for my kids. maybe i should disappear also at night for work then the kids will be attached to me?

Rainbows, I can completely empathise with you, so chin up
When my husband was away, and I was the only person around, the boys were close to me, but still the dad remains no. 1. When they re-united with their dad, the boys will blatantly show or tell me that they like papa best. Initally I find it upsetting, but over time, I feel that, just as we do not love our kids all the same, but to each in an unique way, the way the kids love mum and dad are also unique (or so I comfort myself lah!) They may just be more expressive of joy over dad as dad symbolises fun time mostly, while mum interactions are spread out across a variety of stuff - which include more nagging or scoldings sometimes.

Absence mays the heart fonder, and it is easy to be obscure to those who are always around.. It is not necessarily right, but emotionally I can understand how it can happen.

I always remind myself to be joyful that kids are close and attached to the father, as the fatherly influence in their lives is considerable and significant (based on the various parenting books I read). May not be necessarily fair.. in terms of inputs versus output, but so long as the output is the desired one (kids are close to parents), then be happy I guess..

[Eagle-Ladybird]

My dear wife is \"single\" parent quite often due to my quite frequent travelling (average 50% of my time out of Singapore) for work purposes. In fact, I'm now in Fiji, writing this :lol:


I must say (sincerely) that I appreciate every moment of her \"hardwork and sacrifice\" made during my absence. She's SAHM. I always sents her SMS/speaking over the phone, thanking her for holding the fort at home-front, so that I need not worry about it - and I mean it. I'll do this even when I'm not travelling.

[So, equally, I'm sure your DHs appreciate your roles too :lol: ]

When I get home from work, my kids are like \"bees to flowers\". I get all the attention - my kids will be so excited and drop whatever they're doing, and run to hug their beloved daddy. I love it too, every moment of it. Unfair ? Yes I think so, especially when Mummy is the one looking after them while Daddy is working , .... but . . . don't be fooled by their actions. Kids know very well who loves them, and who they can turn to in times of need. When push comes to shove\" they know both mum and dad are there for them!

Just that, Daddy generally is into the \"fun\" things, you know : games, wrestlings, and all kinds of silly stuffs. And because Daddy spend much lesser time with them, Daddy is more \"permissive\" e.g. I allow them to jump from one sofa to the next. In fact help them and teach them to jump (and Mummy will be huffing away). So to them, Dad is the fun guy - that's all it is. Nothing to do with whether they love Dad or Mum more.

However . . . .

I do make it a point that when I'm back home from work, I'll take over the \"task\" as much as I can from my wife. I'll bathe them, change them into pyjamas, get them to drink milk, brush their teeth, bedtime time reading, and put them to sleep as well. If I'm early enough I'll even play with them a little before bath time.

And on weekends, we will try to regularly to allow my wife time-off to shop, run errands, cup of tea with friends or whatever, for at least couple of hours (4-5 hours). I think it helps, and it balances the \"home stress\" that mothers get (especially SAHM). And hopefully \"all a happy family\" :lol:

Hmm . . . .

Maybe I should ask my wife to vote, and see what her response be (I could well be wrong totally hahaha)

[ChiefKiasu]

Eagle-Ladybird:

My dear wife is \"single\" parent quite often due to my quite frequent travelling (average 50% of my time out of Singapore) for work purposes. In fact, I'm now in Fiji, writing this :lol: ...

OK... we can now attest to the fact that you spend your free time \"wisely\" when you are working abroad . Your wife is one lucky woman!

[MMM]

:celebrate:


I can't post this on FB in case my hubby sees it. I am a single parent this week and I am enjoying it. :lol: Concidentally my maid is on home leave as well.

I enjoy the freedom of having the car this week where I can drive out for lunch,etc... I told the kids that I am gg to pick them up from school tmr and we shall go for dinner after that. As the maid is not home, my mil has been cooking for them. They are complaining that they are bored to tears (same dish for lunch and dinner) I can totally understand how they feel as I rarely have dinner at home for the same reason. It's just soooo boring.

Haha, I am gg to enjoy myself for the next few days. Wonder if he feels the same when I am travelling. :?

[foreverj]

Eagle-Ladybird:

When I get home from work, my kids are like \"bees to flowers\". I get all the attention - my kids will be so excited and drop whatever they're doing, and run to hug their beloved daddy. I love it too, every moment of it. Unfair ? Yes I think so, especially when Mummy is the one looking after them while Daddy is working , .... but . . . don't be fooled by their actions. Kids know very well who loves them, and who they can turn to in times of need. When push comes to shove\" they know both mum and dad are there for them!

actually i dun think its unfair for the kids to drop what they are doing and run to u. it shows how much they miss u cos u r the father and a dedicated one too, evidenced by the quality time u spend with them when u r back home. i dun think your wife would feel jealous. if i were her, i'll be like hurray! finally can have some time to myself :lol:

Eagle-Ladybird:

Just that, Daddy generally is into the \"fun\" things, you know : games, wrestlings, and all kinds of silly stuffs. And because Daddy spend much lesser time with them, Daddy is more \"permissive\" e.g. I allow them to jump from one sofa to the next. In fact help them and teach them to jump (and Mummy will be huffing away). So to them, Dad is the fun guy - that's all it is. Nothing to do with whether they love Dad or Mum more.

However . . . .

I do make it a point that when I'm back home from work, I'll take over the \"task\" as much as I can from my wife. I'll bathe them, change them into pyjamas, get them to drink milk, brush their teeth, bedtime time reading, and put them to sleep as well. If I'm early enough I'll even play with them a little before bath time.

wow u r a great role model for other dads who have to travel frequently my dh tries his best to take over me on weekends too so yes, i do appreciate him for that! :love:
in the past, dh used to think after a hard day's work, its not fair to expect the working father to take over the kids from the stay home mum. but i pointed out to him that the stay home mum stays home and never stops slogging away - housework, bathe kids, cook, feed kids, play with them, entertain them, almost every waking moment! while for the father, playing with the kids is something different from the working routine and by right should be refreshing and enjoyable! Hence how to justify the dad come home and watch his tv, do his thing while the stay home mum continue her 24-7 job non-stop? dh could not refute the argument since he himself enjoys playing with dd too if he has chance to come back early.

i m not saying every working dad must do this becos some work shifts, or work in laborious jobs which by the time they reach home, just wants to rest. thats completely understandable. just that there must be mutual understanding and agreement between husband and wife.

[rainbows]

hi moo moo


it really helps to know that i'm not alone! :celebrate:

trying hard to look at the bright side but finding it very difficult cos the kids do not really listen to me more of like disobedience or rebellious to me. to dadddy, all these usually seldom happen. :x

to me, almost every day, and eveyrhour :roll:

they are still very young. i'm just very worried that when they are bigger, i would have even leser control over them

[rainbows]

dear eagle lady bird


your wife is very very fortunate

how i wish my hb will do that

[rainbows]

dear mmm


distance makes the heart fonder?

[watmekiasu]

orrrrrrrr …


Out of sight, out of mind.

[MMM]

Definitely don't have make the heart fonder feeling at this point. :?


Rather, I am enjoying the change that's why I am feeling \"guilty\"? :evil: Anyway.... I only have 2 more days to go before we are back to routine.