Please read n help me if u can, urgent advise needed...

[dicky]

Believe the 2 options are not new.... :oops:


Will suggest be patient, avoid more debts and clear current debts bit by bit per mth. Believe option 2 is what most of us had and will advise you.... Maintain flat and find a inexpensive childcare like those under NTUC etc. Remember 2 years back, placed DS in cherie hearts full-day about $300-$450 (include we opted in some optional programmes) after subsidy....

1st option is easy way and fastest way out, but probably \"lazy quick fix\" short term solution but long term pain. Unless you cant even do the suggestion, then no choice.... :gloomy:

I not smart type, Red Swastika Pri old gal because of parents, then fared very poorly until go into ITE before working my way up to degree via distance learning pte sch.... Maybe smartmummy had better advise....

[urgenthelp]

Dear All,


Sorry to MIA again for almost a month…

Too much stress and lead me sink into depression (done a test and it confirm my depression)… I dunno where to seek for help… thot of calling counselling hotlines. but i dunno what to talk and how to talk… I am shrinking myself into a corner… i have no mood for everything… i do not wish to plan anymore things. i just feel tired… very tired… tired of everything. the only place i thot of is coming back here to talk…

i have no mood to work… no mood to even eat. i feel no life in myself…

i will still have happy moments now. but 80% i am not happy. i dunno what should i do. what could i do. i just feel useless and loss…

no mood. nothing. empty. tired.

[smartmummy]

dicky:

Maybe smartmummy had better advise...

Hi dicky!
Thanks for highlighting to me. I am not familiar with CB.

Hi urgenthelp!

so sorry,I missed the earlier post.
May some expert/financial gurus help u.
u have a pm

[dicky]

Can understand. Me gone through depression, nearly 2 years to recover. It will not be easy, real-life cases took 2 - 4 years to clear their debts too.


Believe you too, will clear your debts and beat depression with some guts determination and financial discipline.

Keep your spirits up… Keep going…

[UncleLim]

Ok, everyone. This thread has gone on long enough. Let’s not post anymore and do something practical for urgenthelp. Can we pool some cash together and extend it to her as an interest-free loan to help her get on her feet? No amount is too small or too big. I will personally match dollar-for-dollar to double the total amount collected. Can some veteran member or councillor or mod do the collection?


@urgenthelp: I hope you do not mind. It is a bit humbling but once your loan is lifted you will feel better and have the frame of mind to move forward.

[ChiefKiasu]

Dear UncleLim,


While the threadstarter’s posts depict a heart-rending story, do keep in mind that there are regulatory guidelines to the collection of funds for charity. KiasuParents.com is not a registered entity for such an activity, and we cannot vouch for the authenticity of any call to action nor the safeguarding of any funds collected. The threadstarter should seek help from one of the many institutions (as listed by some members in this thread) that were set up to professionally handle such situations, or talk to her MP.

[UncleLim]

Hi ChiefKiasu,


Thanks and your stand noted. Will extend help privately.

Urgenthelp, please check your PM inbox.

[dicky]

Great that Uncle Lim is helping. Unfortunately we are salaried employee, with spare cash only last us 5 months if one of us not working. As what our elders advise, we should help within our means (Liang Li Er Wei)


May we suggest that both financial help and guidance is given. More emphasis on the guidance part. Because we had past bad experiences sticking our necks extending financial help. We counted 6 in total, 3 relatives, 1 friend, 1 neighbour and 1 tenant. We tried advising on their financial part too, sad to say they weren't better off than if we didn't help... Worst we started blaming ourselves that we didn't tried harder...

All the best

[teh_oh]

Hi Urgenthelp,


Do your parents know that you are in debt?
Do you have any siblings or relatives to help you?
How about your husband’s side?
Have you and your husband thought about changing to a higher paid job or job with more overtime potential? Or taking up a second job to supplement income?
Sorry, i didn’t read your history.

If your mum can still care for the child, there is no need to send the child to CC to cut down on costs. However, if you feel that you must, you can try out cheaper alternatives or opt for 3hrs PAP Community Foundation Kindergarten to give your mum a breather.

And for those who are not in the know, I believe that there is no need to loan from bank to repay hospital bills. Approach hospital’[s billing department to work out an instalment repayment plan. I still hope to believe that in SG, no one who is in need, will be denied basic healthcare.

It is still best to approach a professional counselor before you sink into depression. Don’t worry about not knowing what to talk about, they are professional and have seen a lot of cases and hence will be able to help you in some ways.

All the best.

[dicky]

Unfortunately depression wasn’t easily defined, unless we see doctors. If fact, I did not come across as depressed to DH and my closet friends after child birth. They thought I was tired and temperamental after harrowing difficult childbirth. I only learnt from doctor later who suspected my condition when I brought DS for appts. It was confirmed weeks later in follow-up medical and was prescribed medication.


General misconception was that alot of people thought they have depression when they turn moody and such. If they self-realise it or tried some survey questions, unlikely depression because depression usually have self-denial thoughts or resist the idea of depressions, at early stage.

I may be wrong, though that what I learnt from doctor’s comments and my subsequent readup on depression after I recovered…