In-law problems?

[annamom]

Thanks janet_lee88 for your reply.


Yesterday was a Sunday and this time of the week is especially torturing for me. I don’t see her during the week so I am fine. I guess I am very lucky as compared to those who has to live with unreasonable MIL. I really am thankful for that.

A friend told me that talk is cheap and I am trying to learn not to be too affected by what she says.

[Sun_2010]

annamom:

Thanks janet_lee88 for your reply.


Yesterday was a Sunday and this time of the week is especially torturing for me. I don't see her during the week so I am fine. I guess I am very lucky as compared to those who has to live with unreasonable MIL. I really am thankful for that.

A friend told me that talk is cheap and I am trying to learn not to be too affected by what she says.

annamom, :snuggles:

your friend is right.

If you can understand that a MIL's words stem from their insecurity, from a desire to show they are in control, it helps. Remember its the thought that counts- the thinking behind each barb from MIL , focus on that and things fall into place.

Mind you, I am not advocating to take things lying down. Remember you have to take care of yourself , but choose your battles - ones that matter and that cross the line. The petty ones , dust off.

Scroll back a few pages to see some advise from Chenonceau. At the end of the day MIL is part of the family. If you dont handle with care and strategy , people ( incl you ) will get hurt.

Many of us are wounded that way.

Of course its easy to advise and difficult to follow, but we try and do the best we can.

:hugs:

[annamom]

Thanks Sun_2010, you have brighten my day already.


Have spent some time climbing this thread and am still at 30+ page. Ok will go look for the advise given by Chenonceau.

I don’t fight with my MIL, I just keep my mouth shut, take deep breaths and get 内伤.
Don’t think that is working as MIL is all geared up every Sunday ready for battle.

Both hubby and MIL are going for a holiday together in a week’s time for 10days. At least 2 Sundays of peace. Really appreciate this break.

[Chenonceau]

annamom:

Thanks Sun_2010, you have brighten my day already.


Have spent some time climbing this thread and am still at 30+ page. Ok will go look for the advise given by Chenonceau.

I don't fight with my MIL, I just keep my mouth shut, take deep breaths and get 内伤.
Don't think that is working as MIL is all geared up every Sunday ready for battle.

Both hubby and MIL are going for a holiday together in a week's time for 10days. At least 2 Sundays of peace. Really appreciate this break.

Hi Annamom, here are the links to my posts...

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=579480#p579480

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=577224#p577224

Hope they help!!

[Sun_2010]

Chenonceau:

annamom:

Thanks Sun_2010, you have brighten my day already.


Have spent some time climbing this thread and am still at 30+ page. Ok will go look for the advise given by Chenonceau.

I don't fight with my MIL, I just keep my mouth shut, take deep breaths and get 内伤.
Don't think that is working as MIL is all geared up every Sunday ready for battle.

Both hubby and MIL are going for a holiday together in a week's time for 10days. At least 2 Sundays of peace. Really appreciate this break.

Hi Annamom, here are the links to my posts...

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=579480#p579480

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=577224#p577224

Hope they help!!

Hi Chen,
BUT Where were you when I needed this advice the most???
Oh, forgot - you were waging your own war. :salute:
This is problem solving at its best , if ya ask me

Seriously, I benefit from this post- It makes me pause and choose my battles even in other relationship.
:hugs:

So a big :thankyou: - albeit its delayed.

[Chenonceau]

Sun_2010:

Chenonceau:

[quote=\"annamom\"]Thanks Sun_2010, you have brighten my day already.


Have spent some time climbing this thread and am still at 30+ page. Ok will go look for the advise given by Chenonceau.

I don't fight with my MIL, I just keep my mouth shut, take deep breaths and get 内伤.
Don't think that is working as MIL is all geared up every Sunday ready for battle.

Both hubby and MIL are going for a holiday together in a week's time for 10days. At least 2 Sundays of peace. Really appreciate this break.

Hi Annamom, here are the links to my posts...

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=579480#p579480

http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/forum/viewtopic.php?p=577224#p577224

Hope they help!!

Hi Chen,
BUT Where were you when I needed this advice the most???
Oh, forgot - you were waging your own war. :salute:
This is problem solving at its best , if ya ask me

Seriously, I benefit from this post- It makes me pause and choose my battles even in other relationship.
:hugs:

So a big :thankyou: - albeit its delayed.[/quote]Kekekekekeke! Arise DIL of the world! And conquer with gentleness...

[racoon12]

Dear all the ELDERs....

me again wanted to get advise, am trying to do my part as a good DIL but my action is overlook by my MIL as a scheming part. She give me a black facie whenever i greet her (well, try to act like 'doesnt matter for me....') but the part which i cant bear is she is trying to overrule me decision on my kids... which i can not stand.

What should i do? Argument No...No... but for me to hold my horse firm is 'very' difficult...

[Chenonceau]

racoon12:

Dear all the ELDERs....

me again wanted to get advise, am trying to do my part as a good DIL but my action is overlook by my MIL as a scheming part. She give me a black facie whenever i greet her (well, try to act like 'doesnt matter for me....') but the part which i cant bear is she is trying to overrule me decision on my kids... which i can not stand.

What should i do? Argument No...No... but for me to hold my horse firm is 'very' difficult...

You need to control yourself. Keep on greeting her and being nice. Your husband must see you as the \"wronged one\", not her. I had to put up with 2 years of her over-ruling me before I succeeded in gaining enough trust from my husband to get her out of my house. Then, when I got to do things with my kids MY WAY, I turned in results... DD went from bottom 25% to top 5%. After that, my husband agreed with everything I wanted vis-a-vis the kids.

It's competition. So you gotta BE BETTER. I've never looked away from competition.

[annamom]

Thank you for the link Chenonceau, I have read and am digesting the information.

I see MIL once a week and simply cannot imagine if I have to see her every single day of my life.
Seriously, to love her will take great strength and I do not know if I have that in me.

Thank you for your words of wisdom and I will try to be cool as suggested in your point 6.

[racoon12]

Chenonceau,

thank you so much for the enlightenment… I cant stop myself to loathe my MIL. So must think of a way to act natural in front of everybody in order to get to my final destination … GET HER OUT OF MY WAY AND MY HOUSE…

Right now i am applying for a non-paid leave for 2 weeks and serve as a holiday period for my MIL. Reason is to let my boi having his SA2 peacefully. I can see that my MIL is starting her antics again… haiz…