How do you maintain your relationship with your spouse?

[Strparent]

LOLMum:

Strparent:

I think the reason so little men post here and a few other sensitive threads, is because usually all these emo questions are posed and deliberated by women. :siam:
Look at the in-law problems thread, so many pages !! You seldom see men having problems with the in-laws , do you ?
We rant more about the kayu referees than in-laws

just my humble opinion nia nia.

strparent, you very 不孝 hoh, why never speak up for your mum? (hehe not that you have any issues here)

as a mum myself, i would definitely like my kids to defend me especially if i am in the right lei. :evil: but of course, sometimes i might also be the evil mil.

LOLmum

errr, DW knows that I always stand up for my dear mum, and my kids know too. But thankfully, DW and my mum seldom has big issues - so far only small petty ones, which blow over soon enough. :xedfingers:

We go holidays together, my family and my mum, quite often ( maybe about 20 to 30 trips already all over the world ), usually when overseas, DW play her part, mum play her part - nobody look for unnecessary mahuan.

As you said, most of these forumers here now calling their MIL evil ( shocking to me :yikes: ) , they DO know they will become MIL in future, right ? but I am guessing by then, they will be the good MIL, and the DILs are the evil ones :evil: :evil: :rotflmao:

My kids know where I stand - both DW and Mum are equally important to me. I only have one of each wor. If I am with Mum, sometimes listen to her naggings about DW issues, and when I am with DW, I listen to her naggings about Mum issues lor. If both together, usually I play fair to both, and as long as they don't rock the boat, we stay happy la. As for my MIL, she loves me as much as her children, so I have no issues at all. :rotflmao:

But I do know of really ridiculously unreasonable MILs.....and DILs. They exist, just that they dont see themselves in the mirror hard enough

I dont want to comment at the in-laws thread, because I know when women ( MIL and DIL ) are emotionally charged up, it's difficult to try to reason logically. And the cold war issue also, shocking if you asked me.
Just one fact to state, nobody wins in a cold war, so why start one ? :scratchhead:

I do think Chenonceau is a great forum advisor though - cool, calm, logical, sensible. :salute:

sorry :offtopic:

[LOLMum]

Strparent:

LOLMum:

strparent, you very 不孝 hoh, why never speak up for your mum? (hehe not that you have any issues here)

as a mum myself, i would definitely like my kids to defend me especially if i am in the right lei. :evil: but of course, sometimes i might also be the evil mil.

LOLmum

errr, DW knows that I always stand up for my dear mum, and my kids know too. But thankfully, DW and my mum seldom has big issues - so far only small petty ones, which blow over soon enough. :xedfingers:

We go holidays together, my family and my mum, quite often ( maybe about 20 to 30 trips already all over the world ), usually when overseas, DW play her part, mum play her part - nobody look for unnecessary mahuan.

As you said, most of these forumers here now calling their MIL evil ( shocking to me :yikes: ) , they DO know they will become MIL in future, right ? but I am guessing by then, they will be the good MIL, and the DILs are the evil ones :evil: :evil: :rotflmao:

My kids know where I stand - both DW and Mum are equally important to me. I only have one of each wor. If I am with Mum, sometimes listen to her naggings about DW issues, and when I am with DW, I listen to her naggings about Mum issues lor. If both together, usually I play fair to both, and as long as they don't rock the boat, we stay happy la. As for my MIL, she loves me as much as her children, so I have no issues at all. :rotflmao:

But I do know of really ridiculously unreasonable MILs.....and DILs. They exist, just that they dont see themselves in the mirror hard enough

I dont want to comment at the in-laws thread, because I know when women ( MIL and DIL ) are emotionally charged up, it's difficult to try to reason logically. And the cold war issue also, shocking if you asked me.
Just one fact to state, nobody wins in a cold war, so why start one ? :scratchhead:

I do think Chenonceau is a great forum advisor though - cool, calm, logical, sensible. :salute:

sorry :offtopic:

:goodpost: but :offtopic: so better :siam: before i get a warning!

[Chenonceau]

wormy:

the scenario was like this: heavy downpour plus ground flooding till ankle-level. both waiting at hawker centre. man talked to woman and then woman walked away towards car. woman took something (think it's umbrella) from boot. wife drove car nearer to the man and man got into car.

Maybe the man has cancer, undergoing chemo? But I do agree that it looks odd. In that situation, my husband will chain me up before he will let me go get the car. He would be very offended because if I went to get the car, it would make him feel unmanly and useless.

[Chenonceau]

Strparent:

I do think Chenonceau is a great forum advisor though - cool, calm, logical, sensible. :salute:

Oh gee... from you, this is praise indeed!! Thank you.

[Augmum]

wormy:

This question is for the husbands.

Suppose on a heavy rainy day both of u has only one umbrella and u need to go get yr car in an open carpark. What would u do? Both share the tiny brolly. U go drive car over. Ask wife to drive car over

let me answer on behalf of my hub......
regardless heavy or light rain....or no rain....
hub would go to the open carpark to drive his car over to pick me and gal up at the nearest lot/path.....
(usually we are the ones who are left behind to take care of those groceries bags)
so his usual words are , \" wait for me here \"
so we guai guai wait there lorr......simple and straightforward....kekeke :evil:

[Augmum]

Strparent:

I do think Chenonceau is a great forum advisor though - cool, calm, logical, sensible. :salute:

agree.......Chenonceau is one of our active in-house advisor.........

[Strparent]

Augmum:

hub would go to the open carpark to drive his car over to pick me and gal up at the nearest lot/path.....
(usually we are the ones who are left behind to take care of those groceries bags)
so his usual words are , \" wait for me here \"
so we guai guai wait there lorr......

Hi Augmum,

yes, that sounds about right.
You have to understand us BIG MEN.........this is one of the few real occasions that we can 'give orders' and the wife will obey guai-guai-ly. therefore we must act tough and indulge in these moments of authority :evil:

Chenonceau, you are most welcome and honestly, you are one of the most sensible and calm/collected forumers around here. It's not flattery, just a fact.

[wishababy]

it takes 2 hands to clap when comes to sustaining the r/s.

I wish my DH would do something too, but he is simply too bo-chap.

[Augmum]

Strparent:

Augmum:

hub would go to the open carpark to drive his car over to pick me and gal up at the nearest lot/path.....
(usually we are the ones who are left behind to take care of those groceries bags)
so his usual words are , \" wait for me here \"
so we guai guai wait there lorr......

Hi Augmum,

yes, that sounds about right.
You have to understand us BIG MEN.........this is one of the few real occasions that we can 'give orders' and the wife will obey guai-guai-ly. therefore we must act tough and indulge in these moments of authority :evil:

hi strparent,
haha.....yes, understand u guys as BIG MEN.....
well.....like what u had said, let him indulged in the moment of authority....
afterall, it is better than all of us have to carry those heavy bags of groceries
and walk all the way to the open carpark....
isnt it 两全其美 ?? :please:

[Augmum]

wishababy:

it takes 2 hands to clap when comes to sustaining the r/s.

I wish my DH would do something too, but he is simply too bo-chap.

oh yes.....it definitely takes 2 hands to clap....
in a marriage/relationship , lots of give and take,
not easy for Mars and Venus to live together under the same roof.......