Raising Resilient Children

[markfch]

LOLMum:

my ds said he would be worried if classmates said school doesnt allow students to wear that watch design. so need me to check with school. if school said ok, he would just wear it.


for all other comments like childish, not nice, cheap etc comments, ds said to ask your ds to ignore the comments and tell classmates to mind their own business.

Before lights out, ds rationalised that if that watch is not allowed, there should be a list from school. Since no such list exists (at least not to us anyway), then he's free to continue wearing it. Don't know whether he said that just to please me, or he really thought it through? But that's a nice thought.

Thanks to all for your advice; that's why I love this site.

[vlim]

You have a wonder boy, markfch .. :love:

[corneyAmber]

markfch:

LOLMum:

my ds said he would be worried if classmates said school doesnt allow students to wear that watch design. so need me to check with school. if school said ok, he would just wear it.


for all other comments like childish, not nice, cheap etc comments, ds said to ask your ds to ignore the comments and tell classmates to mind their own business.

Before lights out, ds rationalised that if that watch is not allowed, there should be a list from school. Since no such list exists (at least not to us anyway), then he's free to continue wearing it. Don't know whether he said that just to please me, or he really thought it through? But that's a nice thought.

Thanks to all for your advice; that's why I love this site.

There you go....he got the right answer to your concerns... :imcool:

[verykiasu2010]

the school should have a list of what is allowed


did you miss it from the orientation package ?

safest is ‘black and white’ watches, Casio has many models, cheap and good, damaged or lost = no big deal

teaching your son to be ‘strong’ and not be swayed by friends’ ‘careless remarks’ is not a one-sentence one day job. it takes time and makes use of various day to day activities / incidents to impart the value and the merit of it.

but this watch incident is a good start

[Nebbermind]

verykiasu2010:

teaching your son to be 'strong' and not be swayed by friends' 'careless remarks' is not a one-sentence one day job. it takes time and makes use of various day to day activities / incidents to impart the value and the merit of it.

Sometimes it may not be bcoz he was swayed. It might be he just wanted the same watch as his best friend...or some awesome watch his classmate has.

We had our fair share of the above...when they say \"I want a pair of new shoes\", it really meant \"I want THAT pair of shoes\" and not any other types....

[verykiasu2010]

Nebbermind:

verykiasu2010:

teaching your son to be 'strong' and not be swayed by friends' 'careless remarks' is not a one-sentence one day job. it takes time and makes use of various day to day activities / incidents to impart the value and the merit of it.

Sometimes it may not be bcoz he was swayed. It might be he just wanted the same watch as his best friend...or some awesome watch his classmate has.

We had our fair share of the above...when they say \"I want a pair of new shoes\", it really meant \"I want THAT pair of shoes\" and not any other types....

yes yes sounds familiar

since the request is so indirect, i will just go for prima facie what is said, not what is unsaid ..... and the answer is, \"wait till this one is worn out first\" .... and get the \"okay\" answer too .....

[markfch]

Thanks for the compliments, vlim & ksi.

verykiasu2010:

teaching your son to be 'strong' and not be swayed by friends' 'careless remarks' is not a one-sentence one day job. it takes time and makes use of various day to day activities / incidents to impart the value and the merit of it.

but this watch incident is a good start

Sometimes ds will shock me with his level of rationalising; sometimes he'll piss me with that extreme sensitivity he occasionally displays.

Yup, more than academic excellence, I would really like ds to grow up strong in character and stout in perseverance. This watch incident is really a good starting point.

We're been role-playing how to handle further comments from his friends this afternoon. Looks like we're getting somewhere. Really must thank Vevey again for that helpful suggestion. :celebrate:

[markfch]

Nebbermind:

Sometimes it may not be bcoz he was swayed. It might be he just wanted the same watch as his best friend...or some awesome watch his classmate has.

That's a possibility. But for this case, I really think ds was really affected by his friends' comments; or he's a very good actor cos he was shedding tears while relating to me how his friends teased him about his Transformer watch. That's how sensitive he can be, sometimes I also beh tahan.

[Pen88n]

markfch:

Nebbermind:

Sometimes it may not be bcoz he was swayed. It might be he just wanted the same watch as his best friend...or some awesome watch his classmate has.

That's a possibility. But for this case, I really think ds was really affected by his friends' comments; or he's a very good actor cos he was shedding tears while relating to me how his friends teased him about his Transformer watch. That's how sensitive he can be, sometimes I also beh tahan.

At 7, he really want to act more \"grown up\". When his frens teased him about having \"childish\" watch, it must have really hurt his ego that he's seen as a young kindergarten kid still interested in cartoon characters.

But your boy is really \"sweet\" :love: and he listens and understands your \"analysis\". Considered quite matured for a 7-year-old compared with some who will still sulk and throw tantrum with a \"no\" answer, despite any explanation.

[Vevey]

markfch:

We're been role-playing how to handle further comments from his friends this afternoon. Looks like we're getting somewhere. Really must thank Vevey again for that helpful suggestion. :celebrate:

U r welcome! :celebrate:
I'm like DS1's personal drama teacher most of the days.
Luckily, that's my forte!