In-law problems?

[janet88]

Flowermonaster:

Funkymonkey, I really :salute: you! Even of same race it's already tough enough to stay with ILs & you of different race can stay with them for so long!

:udawoman:

Agree 100%. Not same race is hard enough, but you had to stay with ILs who are older as well. :salute: there is culture shock.

[fifiyeo]

I strongly agree that one should never send the kids over to parents or in-laws homes alone if the relationship is strained.


My DS used to go over with the maid and my MIL would find whatever chance she can to \"innocently\" bad mouth about me to my DS.

Even right in my face she would say nasty stuff. Once DS was about 3 yrs old and he tripped while running in the living room. It wasn't a hard fall and he didn't cry. Seeing that he didn't knocked himself against anything I assured him it was alright. Next thing I know, MIL who was next to me snapped loudly and said, \" Oh, come over to nai nai and nai nai sayang. Don't know what kind of mother, chay! Nai nai carry don't cry.\" Then she snatched him from me. He wasn't even crying until he was snapped from me. :mad:

In fact for a brief few months I stayed with my ILs, I find that I can click with the grandparent ILs than parent ILs. I guess MIL saw that and was perhaps super jealous about it. Grandma IL always singing praises of me to relatives so I think MIL can't stand it 'cos she must always win and Grandma IL isn't really happy with her. Well, how does she expect to be a hot favourite if she throws pots and slams things around all the time when she's not happy and she does that even towards grandparent ILs.

So MIL has been coming out with ways to sabo me and as years goes by, my FIL and sibling ILs also hate me. Sometimes my SIL behave like she saw ghost when she sees me. :mad: :mad: :mad:

If one sees us, they would think wow you guys are all getting along fine as one big happy family. But all of us know that unhappy feelings are mutual and it's just a show for all to see. So I really hate it when I have to see them.

[funkymonkey]

Hi Janetlee_88 and Flower monaster,


Thanks for your moral support!!

[funkymonkey]

fifiyeo:

Sometimes my SIL behave like she saw ghost when she sees me. :mad: :mad: :mad:

Oh.... I sure know how THAT feels :snuggles:

[buds]

Funkymonkey... :snuggles:

[clioclio]

fifiyeo, Yikes! If my MIL did that to me I will errupt!!!

Yes, the ‘insinuations’ can be so ‘innocent’…sometimes I myself wonder if i’m too sensitive/biased. Like when i go over to ILs plce for dinner and I cringe when my MIL makes snide remarks, my hubby will not even notice until i gripe about it on the car ride home…
My situation was not as jialat as yours…my boy was ard 6-7months and he’s always drooling so sometimes his neck has rashes. Once at MIL’s plce, she carried him and noticed some rash on his neck (we have tried to be diligent in cleaning,wiping his neck already) —she exclaimed, "Baby so poor thing, They never clean you properly, you are so uncomfortable, sayang sayang,e tc". In my mind the "THEY never clean you properly" was like…

[fifiyeo]

clioclio:

fifiyeo, Yikes! If my MIL did that to me I will errupt!!!

Yes, the 'insinuations' can be so 'innocent'...sometimes I myself wonder if i'm too sensitive/biased. Like when i go over to ILs plce for dinner and I cringe when my MIL makes snide remarks, my hubby will not even notice until i gripe about it on the car ride home..
My situation was not as jialat as yours...my boy was ard 6-7months and he's always drooling so sometimes his neck has rashes. Once at MIL's plce, she carried him and noticed some rash on his neck (we have tried to be diligent in cleaning,wiping his neck already) ---she exclaimed, \"Baby so poor thing, They never clean you properly, you are so uncomfortable, sayang sayang,e tc\". In my mind the \"THEY never clean you properly\" was like....

ClioClio....yap, sure know how you feel. Men usually don't notice such small remarks made by ILs, but the remarks I get are really quite obvious that even DH notices it more than me since I just try to treat them like singing some irritating song and get on with life.

Last time we used to go back to eat during the weekends. MIL will always be so upset in the kitchen slamming things around and shouting at her maids. So you know, the maids see us also sian. They must be thinking, OMG those 2 and their kids again...going to kena bad day from MIL. She's not like that with her other children.

MIL will tell FIL how she so nice lah, cooking all our favourite food and then when I go to the kitchen to help out, I see her face so black. If FIL suddenly walks in, wah she just change into another person. Once DH was in the kitchen when she threw the wok from the stove into the sink 1m away, wok landed with a loud crash and that was it. We never went back for meals again unless it was a big family occassion.

Now I don't talk much to my ILs. Just some simple polite exchange of greetings and everything else as little as possible without creating any major conflicts.

[funkymonkey]

buds:

Funkymonkey... :snuggles:

:thankyou: buds

[buds]

Can empathize what you had to go thru as my Mumsie was in similar shoes.

[janet88]

Maybe the men are so used to their mothers’ comments or the other reason is they never register what their mothers say…which is why they don’t know what is going on. I will get so pissed when she says something indirectly.


My hubby can simply bochap what his mother tells him. It’s like nothing went into his ears at all. Then again, she acts angelic in front of her sons. I couldn’t be bothered with her especially next year.

Oh yes, the daughter is coming back to visit this month with her ang Moh husband and half ang Moh sons, I shall ask for peace from them since that daughter is one who is absolute lacking in manners. She thinks she is some empress dowager wanting all to go back and see her. She can dream on.