CNY Reunion Dinner...at home and out

[tankee]

just wondering wouldn’t boiling water in the steam boat be hot enough to kill off any gems?

[MummyThreeStreams]

My BIL and our side can’t agree on the date for the dinner! We had an agreed date which was proposed by them, and we had to move stuff around for it. Now they’re asking to change. But we can’t coz everything has been rearranged and settled. My poor MIL is caught in the middle.


Anyway, we usually have it at my il laws home, with steam boat a few days to a week before CNY, followed by steamboat/Korean BBQ at my parents on the eve. DH wishes he could have dinner with his parents on the eve, but BIL doesn’t want to coz he has reunion dinner with his wife’s family that day, and he doesn’t want two dinners in one night. So every year we need to find a good date for dinner.

I enjoy the steamboat, but I don’t enjoy the politics…

[tankee]

Why did you DH suddenly wants to change to have dinner with his parents on the eve? :?


Ultimately reunion dinner is for getting family members CLOSER. We should be flexible, spare a thought for our family, and compromise when necessary. Isn't this what being family about?

I am lucky, I have not encountered such issue and have not been asked to compromise. MIL is traditional in thinking for CNY and believe that it is important of DW to have good relationship with her in laws, thus has never ask to have dinner with us on actual eve.

[znzyzyzx]

tankee:

just wondering wouldn't boiling water in the steam boat be hot enough to kill off any gems?

is not a matter of germs, just dont feel comfortable with it. He may think he is 一家人 with us, so know that no sickness among the family, so okay to share share and eat like that with us, and then also eat that way with his daughter's family as well, then the daughter will do the same thing with her inlaws , and then the inlaws will also have their other relarives, wow, the huge number of people involved.

[MMM]

We used to do reunion lunch at my parents’ place (only child). Followed by dinner at home with my pils. But… many a times as my mum is a good cook. We ended up still very full by dinner time…


We started doing combined reunion dinner (my parents + my pils + us). Last yr we did putien and this year we will be dining out as well.

[Funz]

znzyzyzx:

tankee:

just wondering wouldn't boiling water in the steam boat be hot enough to kill off any gems?

is not a matter of germs, just dont feel comfortable with it. He may think he is 一家人 with us, so know that no sickness among the family, so okay to share share and eat like that with us, and then also eat that way with his daughter's family as well, then the daughter will do the same thing with her inlaws , and then the inlaws will also have their other relarives, wow, the huge number of people involved.

:sick: Never thought of it that way. I love steam boat. The kids will always have the first helping. Me and my sisters love the soup at the end. For my family we will have individual ladles that we use to cook and to fish the stuff out of the pot. With my inlaws, ummmm.... but it had been years since we have steamboat with PILs. And when FIL was alive, he loves to use his chopstick to pick up prawns and serve us while saying some auspicious stuff. No choice, still gotta eat lah.

[dae099]

I feel that there are pros and cons of eating at home and out. Eating out= Pros: saves time for preparation of food, dont have to clear up the mess, very convenient. Cons: Dont have private space, have to endure the crowd. Eating at home= Pros: Get to cook fav and preferred dishes, private space. Cons: Have to spend alot of time wiping out dishes and clean up the mess after cooking.

[MummyThreeStreams]

tankee:

Why did you DH suddenly wants to change to have dinner with his parents on the eve? :?


Ultimately reunion dinner is for getting family members CLOSER. We should be flexible, spare a thought for our family, and compromise when necessary. Isn't this what being family about?

I am lucky, I have not encountered such issue and have not been asked to compromise. MIL is traditional in thinking for CNY and believe that it is important of DW to have good relationship with her in laws, thus has never ask to have dinner with us on actual eve.

Think I wasn't clear in my post. DH and I haven't asked for a change. It's BIL who has. I was just saying that DH has always wanted to do dinner on the eve, but can't do it coz of my BIL's requirements. That's why every year there is a dance of which day is good. This year we settled the date already, but now BIL wants to change again. But we've already moved everything around to accommodate his original proposed date. Usually BIL gets his way coz he is the Lao da.

I agree we should try to compromise and be flexible and spare a thought for the elders. So usually I stay out of the wrangling and leave DH and his bro to sort it out. Think DH is very peeved this year coz we need to reshuffle again, and he's wondering why Lao da doesn't need to reshuffle.

Anyway, back to the thread topic, is there a difference between the restaurany menus for the reunion dinner and the yu Sheng dinners during the CNY period?

[znzyzyzx]

Actually i think there is no need to all come together at the same time. Everybody just go according to their schedule, no need to 勉强。


Every year, it would be only my family and the pils for new year eve dinner. The sils will only be at my pils place on the first day of cny. And on the first day, we wont be there anymore since it is the day for me to spend with my side of the family.

Then we would see the sils on the second day.

But if some people have other things to do, cannot come, then also 不要勉强啦。To each his own.

MummyThreeStreams:

tankee:

Why did you DH suddenly wants to change to have dinner with his parents on the eve? :?

Ultimately reunion dinner is for getting family members CLOSER. We should be flexible, spare a thought for our family, and compromise when necessary. Isn't this what being family about?

I am lucky, I have not encountered such issue and have not been asked to compromise. MIL is traditional in thinking for CNY and believe that it is important of DW to have good relationship with her in laws, thus has never ask to have dinner with us on actual eve.

Think I wasn't clear in my post. DH and I haven't asked for a change. It's BIL who has. Just saying that DH has always wanted to do dinner on the eve, but can't do it coz of my BIL's requirements. That's why every year there is a dance of which day is good. This year we settled the date already, but now BIL wants to change again. But we've already moved everything around to accommodate his original proposed date. Usually BIL gets his way coz he is the Lao da.

I agree we should try to compromise and be flexible and spare a thought for the elders. So usually I stay out of the wrangling and leave DH and his bro to sort it out. Think DH is very peeved this year coz we need to reshuffle again, and he's wondering why Lao da doesn't need to reshuffle.

Anyway, back to the thread topic, is there a difference between the restaurany menus for the reunion dinner and the yu Sheng dinners during the CNY period?

[carebear]

Seems like tradition is causing lots of stress in many households during the eve of CNY.

I am happy that I don’t have to adhere to tradition in my family!

My parents are very non traditional as tradition had interfered with their marriage.
My in laws are flexible.

So in future, for my kids, I will not insist on anything too.
It will be all up to them.