Parents, not enrichment centres, are key to result

[Funz]

Chenonceau:

Like Sun_2010, I find the PSLE experience invaluable in building character...


(1) diligence
(2) hard work
(3) be open to new methods of doing things
(4) persistence in the face of daunting difficulties
(5) stress management
(6) fail but keep trying

You mean for the parents..... :siam:

[Chenonceau]

Funz:

Chenonceau:

Like Sun_2010, I find the PSLE experience invaluable in building character...


(1) diligence
(2) hard work
(3) be open to new methods of doing things
(4) persistence in the face of daunting difficulties
(5) stress management
(6) fail but keep trying

You mean for the parents..... :siam:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: :rotflmao: Yeah... parents too!

But in our journey, I think my son worked a lot harder. I was only in charge for getting resources and generating crazy ideas like Potato Chinese. But he still had to be open to trying... In fact, I didn't give a pontianak performance all of P5 (you know hair tearing, big time yelling...).

I did so 2 days back because he maintained that jogging everyday was a waste of time... and we've been arguing about this for about 6 months. I began to have visions of a fat potato son who would collapse and die in NS.

DS: I see no sense in...
Me: Youuuuuuuu see no sense in? Who are YOUUUUUUU to see no sense in? Have YOUUUUUU gone through NS before?

Blah blah blah... banshee + pontianak + Mother dragon

I think the whole street heard me.

[buds]

I bet they did... :frustrated:

[Chenonceau]

At CNY, people make small talk. In the course of small talk, I learnt that a married couple (1 Teacher, the other HOD... and both working in different top schools... i.e., top school papers sort of top schools), send their 2 younger children to Learning Lab to prepare them better for PSLE.


One of the 2 teaches Math. DS was stuck at a problem sum so he asked for help. This person declined saying that since the problem was from another school, one may not know how to do.

:yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes:

So... we have a pair of educators, familiar with the inner workings of what is taught and not taught, who have demonstrated by action (i.e., entrusting their kids to Learning Lab) that they themselves have no confidence in the system that employs them to teach other people's kids.

[sall]

Chenonceau:

At CNY, people make small talk. In the course of small talk, I learnt that a married couple (1 Teacher, the other HOD... and both working in different top schools... i.e., top school papers sort of top schools), send their 2 younger children to Learning Lab to prepare them better for PSLE.


One of the 2 teaches Math. DS was stuck at a problem sum so he asked for help. This person declined saying that since the problem was from another school, one may not know how to do.

:yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes:

So... we have a pair of educators, familiar with the inner workings of what is taught and not taught, who have demonstrated by action (i.e., entrusting their kids to Learning Lab) that they themselves have no confidence in the system that employs them to teach other people's kids.

School teachers are really exhausted after a long day at sch, they don't have the energy to teach their kids. Some kids refused to be taught by their parents, they only listen to the tutors. So this could be the case of these parents. I think I also wouldn't want to solve some math problems at CNY gathering, the mood is just not there. So the parent could be politely declining and giving an excuse that maybe she couldn't solve it.

[Chenonceau]

sall:

School teachers are really exhausted after a long day at sch, they don't have the energy to teach their kids. Some kids refused to be taught by their parents, they only listen to the tutors. So this could be the case of these parents.

Yes... many parents (not just teachers) have no time to teach their kids. Everyone (not just teachers) is exhausted after a long day at work. If the system were working fine, why do so many parents have to teach their kids, or employ tutors? Parents (whether teachers or not) should be earning a living, not doing MOE's job... or subcontracting the job to tutors.

What I am trying to say is that it is irrelevant how tired the teachers are after a long day's work. What IS relevant is that teacher parents or non-teacher parents, we shouldn't have to teach our children after a long day at work. It's great if these busy parents can afford tuition. What about busy parents who CAN'T afford tuition?

sall:

I think I also wouldn't want to solve some math problems at CNY gathering, the mood is just not there. So the parent could be politely declining and giving an excuse that maybe she couldn't solve it.

I know this person very well.... 30 years. She would just have told me that it wasn't the moment. For a math teacher to say she doesn't know is an admission of professional failure. I would die before I admitted to a client that I didn't know how to resolve a problem on motivation. I would say I might need some time and that the moment is inconvenient (and we can chat another day) but I wouldn't say I don't know without trying... unless this happens so often that Teachers find it quite normal to not know.... which I suspect is what is happening.

[try]

Chenonceau:

I know this person very well.... 30 years. She would just have told me that it wasn't the moment. For a math teacher to say she doesn't know is an admission of professional failure. I would die before I admitted to a client that I didn't know how to resolve a problem on motivation. I would say I might need some time and that the moment is inconvenient (and we can chat another day) but I wouldn't say I don't know without trying... unless this happens so often that Teachers find it quite normal to not know.... which I suspect is what is happening.

I do have the same suspicion. I believe teachers are teaching the basic stuff in school so much so that they do not know how to teach or do the harder questions which appear in the so called \"top ten school exam papers\". Although teachers set test papers, there are so many resources that they can just copied/changed the questions a little.

I know teachers of some Band 3 or below secondary schools have packed one-to-one after-school schedules for students to consult the teachers especially near exams. And I even heard that the motivated ones are usually the scholars who asked for more consultation slots. Sadly Singaporean students prefer to rely on tutors.

It is really the principal who has to set the systems in place. Also, parents have a duty to get the children to ask their school teachers.

[DesertWind]

I hate this tagline especially when it comes from the enrichment centres themselves! Some centres after convincing you to pay hundreds of dollars to put your kid there, will, after a while, tell you this tagline - "Parents are the key to success. Do more at home." Totally ridiculous! Totally pile on the guilt trap on a FTWM like me. I fully agree with Chenoceau’s view that parents should not be doing MOE/school/tutor’s job. But I feel really helpless against a school system like ours in this current age…

[beanbear]

I’ve been bouncing around to a few maths enrichment centres in the last 2 years for DS1 and found that matching the centre to a child’s learning needs and level of competency is important. He went to a centre emphasizing on unitary method - initially he did well in P4 - scored full marks in last section and did fairly well in the earlier sections. I thought wow this is great. Then after SA1 in P5, DS started telling me he’s feeling lost after attending 6months at the same centre because the centre is going too fast and I realized he was making more mistakes with the unitary method. I sent him to the next centre that I though was more pitched to his level - only to discover this centre is better for science and really hopeless for maths and DS results fell to an all time low, failling in SA2.


On top of these centres, DS was also attending Maths Olympiad training (obviously the school thought he was up to since he was selected) and extra maths supplementary classes.

So after 6 extra hours of maths classes on top of school curriculum, DS had only failing marks to show for it and Maths teacher had no answer for me except "he is careless and he has exam anxiety."

I spent 3 days feeling depressed after seeing DS SA2 results last year, then bounced back and said to myself "School teachers cannot help my child, enrichment centres cannot help my child, then I must help my child!!!" Previously, I had not dared help my child in maths because maths was my worst subject and i remembered how miserable I felt whenever I had to do maths. But I was determined that if I had to unlearn, relearn and learn all over again, I have to do it because after thousands of $ later, my child could not even pass his paper. There is something seriously wrong.

I spent first 2 weeks of school holidays painfully learning heuristics from Ammiel Wan’s orange Challenging Problem sums book and Onsponge P5. I ploughed through other books too but they were really hopeless. Each day, I learn one method and each day DS did problem sums based on that. My main motivation was to demonstrate to him that he can do it if he was taught well. I relied on my own process skills and to break down each step and how to read each sentence of a problem sum. I attempted to do many of Ammiel Wan’s sums and when I made mistakes, i could track back my own errors and distill how my child could also make similar mistakes. There was a lot of metacognitive analysis involved, reflecting on where the gaps in thinking are and why it happens.

After 6 weeks school holidays, I struggled with a decision whether to continue with maths enrichment for DS or not and which centre would really help. I was feeling so disillusioned. In the end, I decided yes because I don’t know enough of the methods involved for solving many of the Higher-Order-Thinking sums (HOTS). I was blessed to find a centre where the model method was taught in a highly systematic way and their pedagogy is very sound. They don’t try to teach too much in one session and place emphasis on the child understanding the concepts inherent in the problem sum. The best part for me is they allow me to sit in every lesson (of course my assurance to them is that I only use what I learnt to help my own children and not to setup another enrichment centre!!). I conscientiously do all the sums just like the other students but I take one more step to analyse what kind of thinking is required to do such a question, what issues a child may face when they do a sum like this. I learnt alot also from the way other children ask questions in the class because I start to notice why certain children really find maths difficult.

I don’t know how this will also translate into results for CA1. I"m suspending expectations so that DS doesn’t feel too much anxiety. I just want him to feel confident and he has been taught well and that he is able to use his skills effectively during the exams. I’ve learnt that I cannot entrust my child’s learning completely into someone’s hands. My child has paid a heavy price. I’ve paid a heavy price. It’s a lot of work for me to study primary school maths all over again on top of working. It’s a marathon. But ultimately, my child and I are responsible for what happens so we might as well bite the bullet and put in our best efforts.

[Chenonceau]

beanbear:

I spent 3 days feeling depressed after seeing DS SA2 results last year, then bounced back and said to myself \"School teachers cannot help my child, enrichment centres cannot help my child, then I must help my child!!!\" Previously, I had not dared help my child in maths because maths was my worst subject and i remembered how miserable I felt whenever I had to do maths. But I was determined that if I had to unlearn, relearn and learn all over again, I have to do it because after thousands of $ later, my child could not even pass his paper. There is something seriously wrong.

beanbear, I am glad you shared your story. It is a moving one that shines with your love for your child. And what you have done is no less heroic and self-sacrificing than the actions of a mother who would starve herself so that her children have enough to eat. I am so impressed that even though you're bad at Math, you went through all this effort of pre-digesting learning so as to make it easy for your son to absorb. ON TOP OF WORKING FULL-TIME.

This is such an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing.

Many a times, parents are blamed for wanting bragging rights when they try to help their kids. There are times too when it is done for love of the child.