Parents, not enrichment centres, are key to result

[sall]

Chenonceau:

At CNY, people make small talk. In the course of small talk, I learnt that a married couple (1 Teacher, the other HOD... and both working in different top schools... i.e., top school papers sort of top schools), send their 2 younger children to Learning Lab to prepare them better for PSLE.


One of the 2 teaches Math. DS was stuck at a problem sum so he asked for help. This person declined saying that since the problem was from another school, one may not know how to do.

:yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes:

So... we have a pair of educators, familiar with the inner workings of what is taught and not taught, who have demonstrated by action (i.e., entrusting their kids to Learning Lab) that they themselves have no confidence in the system that employs them to teach other people's kids.

School teachers are really exhausted after a long day at sch, they don't have the energy to teach their kids. Some kids refused to be taught by their parents, they only listen to the tutors. So this could be the case of these parents. I think I also wouldn't want to solve some math problems at CNY gathering, the mood is just not there. So the parent could be politely declining and giving an excuse that maybe she couldn't solve it.

[Chenonceau]

sall:

School teachers are really exhausted after a long day at sch, they don't have the energy to teach their kids. Some kids refused to be taught by their parents, they only listen to the tutors. So this could be the case of these parents.

Yes... many parents (not just teachers) have no time to teach their kids. Everyone (not just teachers) is exhausted after a long day at work. If the system were working fine, why do so many parents have to teach their kids, or employ tutors? Parents (whether teachers or not) should be earning a living, not doing MOE's job... or subcontracting the job to tutors.

What I am trying to say is that it is irrelevant how tired the teachers are after a long day's work. What IS relevant is that teacher parents or non-teacher parents, we shouldn't have to teach our children after a long day at work. It's great if these busy parents can afford tuition. What about busy parents who CAN'T afford tuition?

sall:

I think I also wouldn't want to solve some math problems at CNY gathering, the mood is just not there. So the parent could be politely declining and giving an excuse that maybe she couldn't solve it.

I know this person very well.... 30 years. She would just have told me that it wasn't the moment. For a math teacher to say she doesn't know is an admission of professional failure. I would die before I admitted to a client that I didn't know how to resolve a problem on motivation. I would say I might need some time and that the moment is inconvenient (and we can chat another day) but I wouldn't say I don't know without trying... unless this happens so often that Teachers find it quite normal to not know.... which I suspect is what is happening.

[try]

Chenonceau:

I know this person very well.... 30 years. She would just have told me that it wasn't the moment. For a math teacher to say she doesn't know is an admission of professional failure. I would die before I admitted to a client that I didn't know how to resolve a problem on motivation. I would say I might need some time and that the moment is inconvenient (and we can chat another day) but I wouldn't say I don't know without trying... unless this happens so often that Teachers find it quite normal to not know.... which I suspect is what is happening.

I do have the same suspicion. I believe teachers are teaching the basic stuff in school so much so that they do not know how to teach or do the harder questions which appear in the so called \"top ten school exam papers\". Although teachers set test papers, there are so many resources that they can just copied/changed the questions a little.

I know teachers of some Band 3 or below secondary schools have packed one-to-one after-school schedules for students to consult the teachers especially near exams. And I even heard that the motivated ones are usually the scholars who asked for more consultation slots. Sadly Singaporean students prefer to rely on tutors.

It is really the principal who has to set the systems in place. Also, parents have a duty to get the children to ask their school teachers.

[DesertWind]

I hate this tagline especially when it comes from the enrichment centres themselves! Some centres after convincing you to pay hundreds of dollars to put your kid there, will, after a while, tell you this tagline - "Parents are the key to success. Do more at home." Totally ridiculous! Totally pile on the guilt trap on a FTWM like me. I fully agree with Chenoceau’s view that parents should not be doing MOE/school/tutor’s job. But I feel really helpless against a school system like ours in this current age…

[beanbear]

I’ve been bouncing around to a few maths enrichment centres in the last 2 years for DS1 and found that matching the centre to a child’s learning needs and level of competency is important. He went to a centre emphasizing on unitary method - initially he did well in P4 - scored full marks in last section and did fairly well in the earlier sections. I thought wow this is great. Then after SA1 in P5, DS started telling me he’s feeling lost after attending 6months at the same centre because the centre is going too fast and I realized he was making more mistakes with the unitary method. I sent him to the next centre that I though was more pitched to his level - only to discover this centre is better for science and really hopeless for maths and DS results fell to an all time low, failling in SA2.


On top of these centres, DS was also attending Maths Olympiad training (obviously the school thought he was up to since he was selected) and extra maths supplementary classes.

So after 6 extra hours of maths classes on top of school curriculum, DS had only failing marks to show for it and Maths teacher had no answer for me except "he is careless and he has exam anxiety."

I spent 3 days feeling depressed after seeing DS SA2 results last year, then bounced back and said to myself "School teachers cannot help my child, enrichment centres cannot help my child, then I must help my child!!!" Previously, I had not dared help my child in maths because maths was my worst subject and i remembered how miserable I felt whenever I had to do maths. But I was determined that if I had to unlearn, relearn and learn all over again, I have to do it because after thousands of $ later, my child could not even pass his paper. There is something seriously wrong.

I spent first 2 weeks of school holidays painfully learning heuristics from Ammiel Wan’s orange Challenging Problem sums book and Onsponge P5. I ploughed through other books too but they were really hopeless. Each day, I learn one method and each day DS did problem sums based on that. My main motivation was to demonstrate to him that he can do it if he was taught well. I relied on my own process skills and to break down each step and how to read each sentence of a problem sum. I attempted to do many of Ammiel Wan’s sums and when I made mistakes, i could track back my own errors and distill how my child could also make similar mistakes. There was a lot of metacognitive analysis involved, reflecting on where the gaps in thinking are and why it happens.

After 6 weeks school holidays, I struggled with a decision whether to continue with maths enrichment for DS or not and which centre would really help. I was feeling so disillusioned. In the end, I decided yes because I don’t know enough of the methods involved for solving many of the Higher-Order-Thinking sums (HOTS). I was blessed to find a centre where the model method was taught in a highly systematic way and their pedagogy is very sound. They don’t try to teach too much in one session and place emphasis on the child understanding the concepts inherent in the problem sum. The best part for me is they allow me to sit in every lesson (of course my assurance to them is that I only use what I learnt to help my own children and not to setup another enrichment centre!!). I conscientiously do all the sums just like the other students but I take one more step to analyse what kind of thinking is required to do such a question, what issues a child may face when they do a sum like this. I learnt alot also from the way other children ask questions in the class because I start to notice why certain children really find maths difficult.

I don’t know how this will also translate into results for CA1. I"m suspending expectations so that DS doesn’t feel too much anxiety. I just want him to feel confident and he has been taught well and that he is able to use his skills effectively during the exams. I’ve learnt that I cannot entrust my child’s learning completely into someone’s hands. My child has paid a heavy price. I’ve paid a heavy price. It’s a lot of work for me to study primary school maths all over again on top of working. It’s a marathon. But ultimately, my child and I are responsible for what happens so we might as well bite the bullet and put in our best efforts.

[Chenonceau]

beanbear:

I spent 3 days feeling depressed after seeing DS SA2 results last year, then bounced back and said to myself \"School teachers cannot help my child, enrichment centres cannot help my child, then I must help my child!!!\" Previously, I had not dared help my child in maths because maths was my worst subject and i remembered how miserable I felt whenever I had to do maths. But I was determined that if I had to unlearn, relearn and learn all over again, I have to do it because after thousands of $ later, my child could not even pass his paper. There is something seriously wrong.

beanbear, I am glad you shared your story. It is a moving one that shines with your love for your child. And what you have done is no less heroic and self-sacrificing than the actions of a mother who would starve herself so that her children have enough to eat. I am so impressed that even though you're bad at Math, you went through all this effort of pre-digesting learning so as to make it easy for your son to absorb. ON TOP OF WORKING FULL-TIME.

This is such an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing.

Many a times, parents are blamed for wanting bragging rights when they try to help their kids. There are times too when it is done for love of the child.

[tutormum]

:siam: first b4 commenting here. From some school teachers, I understand that most teachers are not competent in teaching all 3 subjects - EMS and if they have been teaching lower pri level, they are not confident to teach upper pri. In fact, they admit that tutors are better than them cos not only tutors teach all 3 subjects, they teach all levels. There are also some teachers who specialize in certain subjects and even students are aware of that cos they tell me Mr so and so or Ms so and so is a very good M/E/S teacher. From my students, I learn who their teachers are and what they are doing for their students. Certain teachers will \"chiong\" to bring up the standard of the students and the results are obvious during PSLE results day. If your child is not in top school but have such a 'chiong' teacher, you don't have much to worry. Then, you have the other 2 subjects to worry about. :xedfingers:

[Chenonceau]

tutormum:

From some school teachers, I understand that most teachers are not competent in teaching all 3 subjects - EMS

I agree with this. In the past, when PSLE difficulty was much lower, primary school teachers can manage 3 subjects. Right now, each PSLE subject requires highly specialized knowledge and skills. By right, the system should have changed in tandem such that primary school teachers, like secondary school teachers, also specialize.

However, primary school teachers are still made to teach 3 subjects. As a result, many cannot cope. In the current PSLE, not even enrichment centres can manage all 4 subjects.

[beanbear]

Chenonceau:

beanbear, I am glad you shared your story. It is a moving one that shines with your love for your child. And what you have done is no less heroic and self-sacrificing than the actions of a mother who would starve herself so that her children have enough to eat. I am so impressed that even though you're bad at Math, you went through all this effort of pre-digesting learning so as to make it easy for your son to absorb. ON TOP OF WORKING FULL-TIME.

This is such an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing.

Many a times, parents are blamed for wanting bragging rights when they try to help their kids. There are times too when it is done for love of the child.

Thanks very much Chenoneau for your affirmations.

Reading your past postings on helping your little boy in chinese also amazed me at how far you're willing to go to help your son. I've been encouraged (literally drawing courage from the stories of others) to do this mammoth task of learning primary school curriculum again.

With 3 younger ones and one of them sitting for PSLE next year as well, I've got a lot at stake and felt it was really worth the effort to slug it out. At times, when I was tearing my hair out from doing all those sums, and I cried out \"Why am I studying primary school all over again?!!! I thought I finished studying!!\", my darling kids will retort, \"Well, you chose to have kids!\"

Well in between the rigours of studying, I'm trying keep the kids sanity by ensuring that as much as possible, they have their 45min playground time everyday, 30mins TV, dinner conversations with mum and bedtime reading. It's tough squeezing all that in but like you, Chen, I believe play is very important to our children and their brains are still developing and in such dire need of exercise and other forms of stimulation. In years to come, I hope they will look back on their educational milestone years and recall that their mum was on their side, they didn't sweat it out alone, even when they struggled, their mum believed in them and found time to hug them, appreciate them and didn't reduce their self-worth to just educational grades.

[tutormum]

beanbear:

Chenonceau:

beanbear, I am glad you shared your story. It is a moving one that shines with your love for your child. And what you have done is no less heroic and self-sacrificing than the actions of a mother who would starve herself so that her children have enough to eat. I am so impressed that even though you're bad at Math, you went through all this effort of pre-digesting learning so as to make it easy for your son to absorb. ON TOP OF WORKING FULL-TIME.

This is such an inspiring story. Thank you for sharing.

Many a times, parents are blamed for wanting bragging rights when they try to help their kids. There are times too when it is done for love of the child.[/quo

Thanks very much Chenoneau for your affirmations.

Reading your past postings on helping your little boy in chinese also amazed me at how far you're willing to go to help your son. I've been encouraged (literally drawing courage from the stories of others) to do this mammoth task of learning primary school curriculum again.

With 3 younger ones and one of them sitting for PSLE next year as well, I've got a lot at stake and felt it was really worth the effort to slug it out. At times, when I was tearing my hair out from doing all those sums, and I cried out \"Why am I studying primary school all over again?!!! I thought I finished studying!!\", my darling kids will retort, \"Well, you chose to have kids!\"

Well in between the rigours of studying, I'm trying keep the kids sanity by ensuring that as much as possible, they have their 45min playground time everyday, 30mins TV, dinner conversations with mum and bedtime reading. It's tough squeezing all that in but like you, Chen, I believe play is very important to our children and their brains are still developing and in such dire need of exercise and other forms of stimulation. In years to come, I hope they will look back on their educational milestone years and recall that their mum was on their side, they didn't sweat it out alone, even when they struggled, their mum believed in them and found time to hug them, appreciate them and didn't reduce their self-worth to just educational grades.

:udawoman: