Suspect my maid has hp, advice needed

[Ichigokun]

verykiasu2010:

at first no phone


then allowed to use house phone

then allowed to own a mobile phone

then spending more and more time on the mobile phone, locked in the toilet

then spending more and more time on the phone, sms-ing, chatting, morning, afternoon, evening, late at night, well past mind-nite .....

then house work standard got worse and worse and cut corners

then spending more and more $$ on phone card / prepay cards

then monthly salary no longer enough to pay for phone bills

then borrow $$ from other maids

then borrow $$ from other people / foreign workers

then start to steal money from employers .......

slippery slope of having a mobile phone ? lack of civil liberty for the maid ? lack of freedom ?

the above are true stories ..... 3 out 5 maids will have such problems, statistically

Your story is a bit too far-fetched.

[clioclio]

If a FDW can have a hp and do her job well, i would be happy to let her hve a phone and use it. She is allowed to use my house phone unlimited access but what does a hp have that a land line doesn’t have?–SMS, MMS, etc. So, give unlimited access to phone also no point.


One school of thought is that even at work we aren’t treated ike slaves, no hp no nthing… and our boss treats us well when we need them. That is true i agree totally. However, we would have never dared to chat,fb, go out for 3 hour lunches or any other things at the expense of our KPIs right? If we allow our work performance to suffer, what happens? But when FDWs does not meet basic KPIs, like getting the work clothes ready (as in ironed), or i have to help her wash toilets, vaccuum etc almost every week, then what can employers do? Keep changing FDWs?

I share the work load (child minding, housework) with my FDW, its not as if she looks after my 3 kids + housework and then i sit around and do nothing. Its a busy day from 6plus in the morning till 8 plus at night. I wake up at the same time as my domestic help. When my baby wakes up in the middle of the night, I am the one who feeds him and get him back to zzz. My FDW goes to bed at 10 and she wakes up at 6, uninterrupted rest.

No FDWs are perfect, mine isn’t. But I am satisfied with her job performance (don’t be too picky). I still have to do Housework everyday. But my peeve was that she has done it on the sly.
I used to have a FDW by the 4 th month into her work she told me she wants a hp or else she want to quit. I had a young baby then, what can i do? So she got a hp. Told her I will keep her hp but she can have it at night when she’s dne with her chores. She agreed. Then within 1 month when she’s suppose to pass me the hp in the morning, she ‘forgets’. Then when i ask her for it she gives me a black face. Then she starts using the HP when she is doing work, with a ear piece down her t-shirt. Then in the end she say she’s homesick and resigned.

Now i can only ‘close one eye’ and tolerate.

[HC_Parent]

I can empathize with u. I also dislike the idea of my maid having a hand phone because maids being maids they like to go overboard and stay on the phone ALL day. Otherwise she’ll be texting on her mobile, leaving our kids to run about even across the roads and towards the carpark. I hv witnessed too many. Their social lives are more important than our kids’ lives.


It is perfectly fine if they want to call their friends and families back home but the problem is they like to make many many frens locally and start to demand this and that, which they claim their frens have. Off days, more off days, time off to run errands, meet cousins, send $$ bla bla bla.

We are not being slave drivers, we feed them lots of food, ensure they hv enough sleep and bring them to doctor when they are unwell. We fulfill every part of our contract, so they should too. If they agree not to own a Hp then they shouldn’t! I mean if they ask it’s really up to the employer to decide. Nothing wrong to say no. Can I halfway through cut her pay? Owe her pay? Suddenly don’t wana let her sleep? Give her 1 meal short? So why should they be entitled to extras when I adhere so strictly to mine and even go beyond to treat her well in the house?

[Apricot]

It is difficult to get a good maid nowadays, so do treasure what u have. It is a norm for many maids to have hand phone unless they are new inexperienced maid. After working in Singapore for a while and meeting other experienced maids, they will know their rights. Unless, u are ready to change maid, u should let her have the hp. In any case, there is no guarantee that the next maid will be good at work and not demand for hp.


My suggestion is to confront her nicely and tell her that u are aware that she has a hand phone. Let her know that because she is a good maid, u have decided to let her have the hp BUT she must be responsible in the usage of the hp. Then list your conditions. In doing this, she would appreciate your graciousness and at the same time will exercise more caution in the usage of hp hopefully.

[autumnbronze]

Ichigokun:

verykiasu2010:

at first no phone


then allowed to use house phone

then allowed to own a mobile phone

then spending more and more time on the mobile phone, locked in the toilet

then spending more and more time on the phone, sms-ing, chatting, morning, afternoon, evening, late at night, well past mind-nite .....

then house work standard got worse and worse and cut corners

then spending more and more $$ on phone card / prepay cards

then monthly salary no longer enough to pay for phone bills

then borrow $$ from other maids

then borrow $$ from other people / foreign workers

then start to steal money from employers .......

slippery slope of having a mobile phone ? lack of civil liberty for the maid ? lack of freedom ?

the above are true stories ..... 3 out 5 maids will have such problems, statistically

Your story is a bit too far-fetched.

No, it is not.

I hate to use this statement, but in this case I have to - the adults here know better.

Vk2010 knows what he is talking about.

Peace :xedfingers:

[Lynn2010]

i empathize too. BUT sometimes we have to give and take. My DW is allowed to have a phone, can use only after she completes all her work, that is, at the end of the day, usually around 8.30pm. I know she uses in the day too (but i close one eye as not too often). She has been with me for almost 3 years. Once i caught her using phone in the day, i reminded her that she is not supposed to use. She said ok.


Her performance is good, does what she is required to do though not perfect (acceptable). In fact, i think she takes an afternoon nap (not sure how often). I pretend i didnt know because if i’m looking for her, she better be around. I told her that the only time she can take an afternoon nap is when she is sick, but she has to tell me that she is not well. First she will have to see the doctor and take medicine, then she can take a nap/ rest and no need to do housework or cook. I suppose my situation is different as my kids are older, the younger is 12 years old. I understand not everyone can afford to give time off.

The bottomline is i treat her the way i want my boss to treat me.

I empathise with verykiasu2010, you probably have encountered or heard of such maids. I change many maids till so sian. If they cross the boundary, i sack them.

Clioclio, if you want to keep her and renew her contract, this is what i will do - pretend you dont know about her having a handphone. [She has mentioned to you that she wanted a phone and you said wait till her new contract right?] Talk to her - ask her why she wants a handphone. Said that due to her good performance, you have thought about it and would like to permit her using hp BUT she must continue to perform well and comply to your use hp rules. Set all the rules (eg. Can use only off day, or only after 9pm, dont ever let you catch her hold the phone, etc. Rules are just there to scare her lah). Tell her that you will take it away (‘confiscate’) if she breaks the rule. I know some people may STRONGLY object. As what verykiasu2010 mentioned, may get problem. This may not be full proof, but at least strike a balance. Dont bombard me - cause this is what i will do. Basically there is no full proof solution.

You dont want her to know that it’s ok for her to break her promise (agree not to own a phone in the contract) and now that you found out she has it, it’s ok, you condone and let it be. Think about it, you plan to allow her have one anyway, why wait another few months. [You want to keep her?]

[stressedoutmummy]

If they continue with their good work when given the liberty to have handphones, I do not mind. But most of the time, they cannot control the phone usage, especially now with FB and internet. I had that problem with 2 maids.


My ex-maid even used my handphone to call indonesia and the bill came up to $100+. I allowed her to use hp (which i pay) so that I can reach her easily when she fetches my boy from school. But she misuses it. When I made her pay for the bill, she insisted she wanted to buy her own personal hp. That’s when all hell breaks lose. She is forever yakking on the phone, with an earpiece forever plugged into her ears. Even I dare not do that in the office and my maid is doing that. Hmmph…

The next maid that I take in was very good for first 2 years and I offered to extend her contract. She was ok initially but I had to send her home after the 3rd year as I cannot tolerate the laziness that comes with handphone. I had allowed her to buy handphone on condition that she only uses it on weekends but she showed a black face. Once she has handphone, she started to slack, laundry not washed, clothes not ironed, it is as if i have a teenaged daughter and no maid. A month after I sent her home, I discovered she used my son’s handphone to make phone call to malaysia. Luckily she only managed to use it for 2 days before I told her I was sending her home.

I have no more tolerance for maids with handphone. If I need to send them home, I will just do it. To me, no point talking too much on this matter with them. They do not reciprocate your understanding.

[HC_Parent]

Alternatively u can pretend u don’t know she has a hp, so she always have to use it on the sly. This will ensure that the usage will not become excessive over time. And you’ll be spared from watching your maid yakking away on h phone. Haha.

[HC_Parent]

I agree that maids do not know gratitude and will never reciprocate our good intentions.

[clioclio]

:goodpost: Thanks everyone for your encouragement.

Yes, my kids like her and I am OK with her. I don't want to change a maid unless she's totally hopeless or crossed the line (bring bf back home!) So, yes i am hoping to extend her contract.

Yea my strategy right now is I am going to pretend i don't know, and she has no choice but to use it on the sly. If i acknowledge that she has a hp, i cannot deal with the scenario where she is whipping out her hp every now and then to sms or whatever. I think as long as i do not see the hp and she does her work i will just let it go.

And like what one of the replies said--if i say I know about your hp and i just let it go, there will be no end to it. What is the msg that I am sendng out to my maid? That rules can be broken? its' OK?

She's finishing her contract in July. I will renegotiate her contrac and then factor in the hp.

Last time i bought a netbook she also say, \"Ma'am can i buy one too?\" :roll: I told her no way. Last time bring her to Library with my kids , i let her borrow some Bahasa books. She end up reading dead into the night then cannot wake up in the morning? My hubby had to rush to work without b'fast. Happened a few times. In the end i told her, No books for you. coz she can't control!
Can't imagine if she had internet access.

Maybe if she asks again, i will let her use my laptop in the living room for a set period.