How much household income is enough?

[toddles]

Imp75:

Yah you see, in terms of argument, I will lose because;

I can't keep the house as good as the maid
U can't teach as well so need to outsource
I can't drive so can't be a driver to kids

I might as well go outside earn money!! Maybe that's my forte! Man is so practical, there are no room for emotions involved

If he feels that way, then prob he prefers you to work. and if that's his stance, then it'd prob be an uphill journey for you to stay home.

most gals I know who decide to stay home, have very very supportive hubbies who know they are taking the harder path. and thus have very few 'demands' wrt household stuff, whether they teach/cook etc as a means of saving money. in fact, they are usually willing to factor in paying for PT cleaner, cab fare etc. the plus is having the mum at home for the children as the main caregiver.

[LittleLambie]

I think ultimately, we have to ask ourselves if we can live with \"no recognition\" at all for all the hard work done at home. In the corporate world, we get promotions, bonuses etc & these makes us feel good & appreciated. But being a sahm, there are no such things to look forward to. I stopped work 3 years ago. But till now, I am still trying to come to terms with the lack of such recognitions. :sad: My DH understands that & will try his best to make that up to me by buying nice expensive lil gifts to me once in a while :love: He is also another guy who will leave the decision of to work or not to work to me. He is ok with both.


I am a corporate person seriously. I do not enjoy staying at home everyday nor being a sahm. I look forward to the day where I'll have the opportunity to rejoin the workforce. But....for now, I know my kids need me more. Like many have said, they only grow up once. There is really a difference when mummy is at home for them. Hence, even though I may not enjoy being a sahm, I will still do it cos I :love: my kids more. :snuggles:

Imp75, you seems to be very affected by the fact that you can't drive...get a driving license? Alternatively, you can pack your kids in sch buses & free yourself up to do other things?

[LittleLambie]

toddles:

Imp75:

Yah you see, in terms of argument, I will lose because;

I can't keep the house as good as the maid
U can't teach as well so need to outsource
I can't drive so can't be a driver to kids

I might as well go outside earn money!! Maybe that's my forte! Man is so practical, there are no room for emotions involved

If he feels that way, then prob he prefers you to work. and if that's his stance, then it'd prob be an uphill journey for you to stay home.

most gals I know who decide to stay home, have very very supportive hubbies who know they are taking the harder path. and thus have very few 'demands' wrt household stuff, whether they teach/cook etc as a means of saving money. in fact, they are usually willing to factor in paying for PT cleaner, cab fare etc. the plus is having the mum at home for the children as the main caregiver.

I agree. My DH will rather fork out more $$ in exchange for more rest time for either me or both of us. Whenever possible, DH will take over the ferrying of the kids to let me have more rest.

\"the plus is having the mum at home for the children as the main caregiver\"......so well said! :salute:

[buds]

Agree too.


However if we \"choose\" (made the decision) to stay home... we should not expect recognition as it is like toddles said a harder path but not just for one party but for both, husband and wife. Husband is the only work horse.. shoulders all the finances for the house, kids + education, wife, (etc) and the wife executes her home responsibilities. It is not that either one is shaking legs. Both husband and wife are tired after a whole day's work regardless if one is in office and one is at home.

It's nice if the husband helps out. It's a bonus really.
Mine didn't actually start out helping around the house.

Homefront will sour if each spouse keeps on abt who has made the bigger sacrifice..

Not all women are cut out to stay home, cos if they're not happy to be home.. the ill
feelings and pent-up frustrations will transcend to the children and the home environment
in general. So it ain't always a plus factor having the mother at home for the children as
the main caregiver.. I have frenz who have poured out unhappiness and despair that they
just cannot make it as stay home moms & i encourage them to return to work if it makes
them happy and if makes husband nag less and makes the children happy being less
screamed at.

Different strokes for different folks.

We work around things that work for us..
No two families have the same lifestyles..

:hugs:

If we learn to appreciate one another's contributions
to the marriage and the family, both parties will be
happier. Take time to sit back and reflect how each
of us complement the other to make things work.

[Canvas]

Even though I am an ex-teacher and many would expect me to teach my own children, the fact is, I only teach when it's necessary aka 2 weeks before major exams :spank: Other times, if DS does okay, I close both eyes. Fortunately, he does pretty okay in an average school. I am quite relaxed in many aspects because I prefer to focus on my family eating, resting well.


Although technically, I am a maid/nurse/tutor/cook, my hubby is understanding and tries to help me out as much as he can (doing laundry). He is better in Math so he settles that. I help DS with his other subjects when he needs it. I do outsource a little, like hiring a part time cleaner to come over once a week to do the dreaded ironing and cleaning the areas that I do not (windows etc). I also bought a iroomba to vacuum the floor on a daily basis. I cook most weekdays but Friday onwards, we eat out. I recently hired a Chinese tutor for DS because I tried teaching but found it too different from our days of learning the language. :nunchuk:

We are not robots and can only do so much. If I try to overachieve, I may end up being really unbalanced and losing my self-worth.

I intend to outsource a bit more once I figure out how, like getting someone to child sit for a couple of hours once in a fortnight or something so I can spend time with my Ah Lau.

[cherrygal]

Canvas:

I intend to outsource a bit more once I figure out how, like getting someone to child sit for a couple of hours once in a fortnight or something so I can spend time with my Ah Lau.

Yah, lemme know if you have a good child sitter. Would prefer to do this than disturb my old parents who cannot manage two active kids.

[Canvas]

Ok! :hi5:

[Imp75]

Just thinking aloud, we talk about mums wanting to be SAHM. Conversely if your hubby wants to be a house husband, would you allow this? None of my friends allow their husbands to do so although financially it makes sense for the hubby to stay home. I wonder if this is a perception thing? My hubby always jokingly say that he should stay home but I don’t think I will ever "approve". I can’t explain this illogical thinking, just don’t feel good that hubby is not holding down a job

[LOLMum]

i am hoping dh will quit and stay home for a few years. he has been working so hard for years and it is time for him to slow down and take a break but cant have my kit kat. :evil:


a house husband doesnt have to be for years. at least, now he can understand the things sahm does 24/7.

[Canvas]

It all boils down to who earns more and can handle the kids better. In my case, I married a traditional hardworking Chinese man who can’t cook/ do housework and he earns much more than me annually so it is a no brainer that I should stay at home instead.


My ex-teaching colleague quitted his job after his Dentist wife gave birth. It made perfect financial sense I guess.