Suspect my maid has hp, advice needed
-
Hard Truth:
I didn't think about the hp thing so I did not raise it up. Should I call up my agent and ask her to contact the maid? What is the usual arrangement?clioclio:
I am expecting a new filipino FDW end april. Do you think I should tell her at the agency that IF she has hp, she can only use it at night (i will safe keep for her) ORshould i just tellher no hp?
I am just worried that if i outright BAN hps, she will get it on the sly and discovering it will just infuriate me. Might as well 'legalise' it under control.?
Or say, HPS only after u finish your loan?
What is the arrangement you guys have with yr domestic help/?
What was in your original agreement when you took this maid? What were the maid's expectations? Did you talk/check with your agent on this? -
clioclio:
I think in this day & age we can't ban our maids from having HPs. They are adults and HPs are just too much of an essential part of life.I am expecting a new filipino FDW end april. Do you think I should tell her at the agency that IF she has hp, she can only use it at night (i will safe keep for her) ORshould i just tellher no hp?
I am just worried that if i outright BAN hps, she will get it on the sly and discovering it will just infuriate me. Might as well 'legalise' it under control.?
Or say, HPS only after u finish your loan?
What is the arrangement you guys have with yr domestic help/?
I think the best thing is just to say that they can have one but it is not to be used during working hours. If you find them using it then you will confiscate it during the day.
I know that my maid sneaks a look at hers during the day when she isn't busy but I don't think it's much more than sending the occasional sms. She doesn't take/make calls during the day.
It's actually good for them to have one as it gives you a way to contact them when they are out on their off-day; sometimes we decide to go out somewhere on Sunday evening so I can then tell her to meet us there not to go home. It's also useful if they fetch your children from school as they have the phone in case of emergency. -
nms1:
Agree with you on this.
It's actually good for them to have one as it gives you a way to contact them when they are out on their off-day; sometimes we decide to go out somewhere on Sunday evening so I can then tell her to meet us there not to go home. It's also useful if they fetch your children from school as they have the phone in case of emergency.
In my opinion, if the maid sends or picks up the children from classes the parents should give the maid a hp if she doesn't have one. Not for the maid's sake, but for the child's sake.
My personal experience: while we were at a shopping mall adjoining an MRT station my maid was approached for help by another maid. The maid's ez-link didn't have sufficient funds, so the maid and the little kindy girl were stuck outside the station. We called the employer to tell her to come and get them ( :evil: didn't want to pay for them and make things easy for the stupid ma'am, especially since she was not fellow SGean :evil: ). The maid didn't even know the address or telephone number.
Of course this incident was not a drastic one. But worse things could happen eg child gets injured etc. and the parents & even emergency services would need to be contacted asap -
nms1:
I strongly agree on this. I cannot afford for my maid not to have her own cellphone due to some emergency situations.clioclio:
It's actually good for them to have one as it gives you a way to contact them when they are out on their off-day; sometimes we decide to go out somewhere on Sunday evening so I can then tell her to meet us there not to go home. It's also useful if they fetch your children from school as they have the phone in case of emergency. -
Guess the issue is not the Hp per se, but how the maid uses it.
If they abuse the use of the HP can uses it to the extent it affects her work, that’s just plain frustrating. -
i have previous maids with HP(3 maids)
she was able to maintain her work and HP is never an issue as she is a dedicated maid and sensible…but she only bought the HP a few mths before she her contract ends
the other maids…juz abuse d trust!!!
ear piece ALL the piece till i need to reprimand them…sleep late…chit-chat…so u can imagine the ‘work’…bo chap
1 maid got sex videos,naked pictures of her,her boyfren and even threaten my youngest child when her boyfriend came to meet her while sending my child to school…she borrow money from friends,etc
the other maid more of sob stories n ‘unknown men’ trying to contact her…work slacken n then asked to be sent home…always with HP …
even when i bring the maids out…they r forever with the HP!!! -
linayh:
the curse of the handphone on the maidi have previous maids with HP(3 maids)
she was able to maintain her work and HP is never an issue as she is a dedicated maid and sensible...but she only bought the HP a few mths before she her contract ends
the other maids...juz abuse d trust!!!
ear piece ALL the piece till i need to reprimand them...sleep late...chit-chat..so u can imagine the 'work'.....bo chap
1 maid got sex videos,naked pictures of her,her boyfren and even threaten my youngest child when her boyfriend came to meet her while sending my child to school....she borrow money from friends,etc
the other maid more of sob stories n 'unknown men' trying to contact her...work slacken n then asked to be sent home...always with HP ...
even when i bring the maids out...they r forever with the HP!!! -
linayh:
Thank you for sharing.i have previous maids with HP(3 maids)
she was able to maintain her work and HP is never an issue as she is a dedicated maid and sensible...but she only bought the HP a few mths before she her contract ends
the other maids...juz abuse d trust!!!
ear piece ALL the piece till i need to reprimand them...sleep late...chit-chat..so u can imagine the 'work'.....bo chap
1 maid got sex videos,naked pictures of her,her boyfren and even threaten my youngest child when her boyfriend came to meet her while sending my child to school....she borrow money from friends,etc
the other maid more of sob stories n 'unknown men' trying to contact her...work slacken n then asked to be sent home...always with HP ...
even when i bring the maids out...they r forever with the HP!!!
Your experience seems to confirm what I learnt from others:
Allow them to use the HP but only after a period of time with you and not when they are new (you still do not know about them)
When you allow them to use the HP it has to be after their work has complete not when they are doing their work.
Keep their HP in the night when they are suppose to be resting ( and not chatting into the wee hours into the night) after their work. -
HI
I am also in a similar boat.
I am not very keen on maids having handphones because i heard of all the naughty stuffs they start doing once u have them.But in this time, it is a necessity. THe agent also said that it maybe impossible to find a helper with no handphones. So for my first maid i said u can use it at night and she agreed. For almost 1 yr she was ok with it. She is supposed to return it to me in the morning, but the days u forget to ask it back its always conveniently forgotten. Then one fine day, she just refused to give it back. She went back to phillipines within a week of this incident (Reason was some family problem and she said she wanted to contact family during day time also)
So i took another filipino, who when i interviewed her had no family in singapore. Within a couple of days she magically has a sister who has been working in singapore for almost 10 yrs then a huge number of cousins.. She intitally agreed to phone at night but talks way into the morning. When i question her she says, u dont let me talk during the day, need to talk to mom, kids, sister, husband blah blah.. Day time i forget to lock up the phone so agreed that she leaves the phone on the dining table as i am SAHM. After a while i found her frequently going to toilet and for long stretches of time. When i ask her she will have the nerve to tell me come n check ma'm.. Then one day i caught her red handed and found she has a boyfriend (She has a husband n 3 kids).. For tht she replied dont u want me to be happy ma'm u want me to be lonely lonely in singapore. We confesticated her phone and she tried a funny things to just go out and call that guy.. Finally after 1-2 wks of drama n we going to send her bck she agreed to behave and so we gave her the phone. For 6 mths no problem. Slowly her phone usage started getting more, and the phone is always inside her body so no way i can check whom she is talking to.. Then she went to phillipines in Nov, came back very well behaved so decided to renew her. Once i renewed her, her HP usage has again excalated to a level where she will be talking continously for 4-5 hrs.. 24/7 there is an ear piece on her and if i scold her it slips inside her body, the phone is still connected. Any instruction i give her, the other person is able to hear..Even now we can hear her talking at wee hours in the night but my hus was like as long as she does her work it is ok.. But now she is on the phone for more than 10 hours plus a day incld her night talks. I am getting sick n tired of it. I asked her where do u get the money, she says incoming free... So who has the money to call her so much and that too in the middle of the night and all that.. She has two phone one for local use and one for phillipines.
U must be wondering why i kept her for so long because her work was good and since i am at home, i dont leave the kids alone with her except for very very short spans of time. And it was always like, the next one could be worse than her (We had very bad experience with helpers, the first few ones were terrible including one whom we had to deport within few hrs and to the extent that we even got a notice for MOH for changing 5 maids in a yr for no mistake of us). Her work was ok till this date, but now she has slackened a lot and she is like i need to rest (Means phone). I realised on her off day that the dustbin hasnt been washed for months and the inside was black with fungus. :stupid: There are many many egs like that. Also she has two off days and she never comes back on time, she goes sharp at 9 but comes back only 7 plus even after telling her many times to come back by 6. (Contract says 9-6 pm). So that means for two sundays we are at home waiting for her to get back. If i go somewhere then she will return only 8 plus.
When i renewed her we did it without an agent help. Now she is saying if u dont allow me to talk give me a transfer. I told her we wont transfer we will send u back. Is it possible? What if i get a flight ticket and she refuses to go back? What is the MOM rules on maids torturing employers? Are there any rules on handphone usage? When i used to wrk, i never dared make any personal calls and here some one is on the phone the whole day with no rules to stop them. I treat her very well, the workload in my house is not much as i am at home and i totally take care of the kids..But still no gratitude..
Also she is claiming that she is doing some business (trying to bring in filipino maids and also selling some stuff). Isnt that illegal? Can i report? How to get proof? Her phone is inside her body all the time..
She is telling 'let me see whom u get, who will not use a handphone and will be nice to your kids'.. I am scared of that also. What if the next one is worse than hers.. And i really need a helper as part time maids who can come in daily r really difficult to find and with two small kids i need help at home.
Really lost as to what to do.. -
Amongst other things there are two which are most worrying:
"Also she is claiming that she is doing some business (trying to bring in filipino maids and also selling some stuff).
Real scary here. You can potenitally be harbouring someone for running a illegal business. Do you want to take that risk too?
She is telling ‘let me see whom u get, who will not use a handphone and will be nice to your kids’… I am scared of that also. What if the next one is worse than hers…
Sounds like your maid is giving you a hidden threat, and scaring you. Do you like this? She is going to use this on and on in the future for whatever things that she is going to demand from you. Are you prepared to be "blackmailed" by this?.
Yes the next one could be worse but the other 50% says it could be better than her. Where do you get your maids from. Same old agency? New maids? Transferred maids. You have to decide.
You and your hubby should have a good talk on this. I know what I will do (and there is not even the slightest hesitation on my part) but then you have to live with her. I am highlighting two issues that both of you should really discussed in depth and make your decision. You are sitting on a time bomb
Hello! It looks like you're interested in this conversation, but you don't have an account yet.
Getting fed up of having to scroll through the same posts each visit? When you register for an account, you'll always come back to exactly where you were before, and choose to be notified of new replies (either via email, or push notification). You'll also be able to save bookmarks and upvote posts to show your appreciation to other community members.
With your input, this post could be even better 💗
Register Login