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    Husband drinks & stays out late - Does yours?

    Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Relationships
    215 Posts 68 Posters 174.1k Views 1 Watching
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    • L Offline
      LOLMum
      last edited by

      A good man, a good friend, a good son, a good brother may not be a good husband cos some men marry not for love. So wife is way at the bottom of his priority list.

      1 Reply Last reply Reply Quote 0
      • S Offline
        sleepy
        last edited by

        LOLMum:
        wife is way at the bottom of his priority list.


        A wife/mother is the person who gels all the family members together. Keep the woman at home happy and the man will have a happy family to return to.

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        • L Offline
          LOLMum
          last edited by

          sleepy:
          LOLMum:

          wife is way at the bottom of his priority list.



          A wife/mother is the person who gels all the family members together. Keep the woman at home happy and the man will have a happy family to return to.


          Which is why it is so sad when she is not cherished by the man she has to spend the rest of her life with. :sad:

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          • A Offline
            angel
            last edited by

            Xmasbaby:
            I totally agree with what you have mentioned. A good father may not be a good husband. In this aspect, i must say i failed miserably 😢 so still trying to put in effort to make the relationship better. But i must say that with the current education, financial stress etc that most parents are facing, sometimes we just overlook this area because we are all so held up by responsibilities. By the way i have been coaching my P5 girl since P1 for all subjects except Chinese outsourced. i guess because of that my wife bear with me abit lor.....

            Your problem is not big... All you need to do is to find her love language. Fill up her love tank and you will be surprised, everything will fall into place.

            Both of sit down and take about 5-10 mins to do this little test to determine your love language. Once you have establish it, respond to your spouse love language. And come tell us if your relationship with wifey improves or not.

            http://www.5lovelanguages.com/assessments/love/

            The BEST love that a father can give to his children... is to love their mother.

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            • W Offline
              WFWhoAmI
              last edited by

              Why is it that after some yrs of marriage n after having the children, the love between the husband n wife are just "gone" or replaced by responsibility or words like I love the children’s mother but not I love my wife?


              How do husband or wife define "love"? Anyone cares to comment?

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              • M Offline
                Maxine
                last edited by

                Love is unconditional. One does not put conditions on each other eg. if you love me, I will do this for you. It comes from the heart. In the beginning in courtship everything is fresh and exciting but when marriage comes in and kids come along, both parents are busy with earning money for the house, food and kids and education and too tired to make time for each other. Some parents are not even willing to leave the child alone with someone. I know a few parents mostly moms who feel guilty leaving their kids behind with PILs and go on short weekend trips so they don. Some say cant bear to and some say cannot trust kids with anyone even PILs. There are some who reallyr have no one to leave their child at all with to go and and have some time alone. Some are workaholics, no time to go holiday with spouses. So in time, the marriage seems routine cos everyday same thing day in and out. And then one will feel bored and sometimes EMAs happen becos someone interesting comes along and adds some excitement to the already boring monotonous life. Then?


                If hub and wife really make time for each other and are willing to spend 2-3 days alone with no kids and yet don place expectations on each other, it might be a different matter. The marriage will be kept alive and rejuvenated if they have "our" time often. And bonding and intimacy takes place during the "our time" and if all is satisfied, physcially and emotionally, no 3rd party would have a high chance of even stepping in.

                Sometimes its not about we cannot, its whether we WANT to.

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                • A Offline
                  angel
                  last edited by

                  Maxine:
                  Sometimes its not about we cannot, its whether we WANT to.

                  I second that. And the choice is yours to make the change. :snuggles:

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                  • C Offline
                    caroline3sg
                    last edited by

                    LOLMum:
                    A good man, a good friend, a good son, a good brother may not be a good husband cos some men marry not for love. So wife is way at the bottom of his priority list.

                    I realised this fact too late. Anyway, I am strong financially, physically, mentally. I don't give a damn to his late coming back.

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                    • FunzF Offline
                      Funz
                      last edited by

                      It is easier said then done. Especially when only one half of the couple sees the problem and is trying hard to improve matters.


                      For those whose other half is ‘co-operative’, rejoice and treasure that.

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                      • U Offline
                        UncleLim
                        last edited by

                        Many of you have the same story as my mother.


                        When I was young, my father would come back home in the wee hours of the morning. Sometimes he just went to sleep. Other nights he would throw up all over the floor. Sometimes all over me as I slept on the living room floor in our small rental flat.

                        Is there a solution for you ? I do not know. My father did not change for many years. He was not interested in me and my siblings. He finally toned down when he was in his 50s or 60s after a minor stroke. And his business failed so he had no more money to spend on alcohol and women.

                        Is there still room to talk about love and other romantic ideals? I am not sure. All I know is that the wife had better be financially independent just in case… . My conclusion is that there are many married men who are stupid or selfish, or both. They do not care if they are destroying the lives of their spouse and children in slow motion over years and decades.

                        So what becomes of them? They will continue in their ways and in time become old and irrelevant. Maybe hang around the coffeeshops (no more money to go to KTV clubs or Geyland) and talk rubbish with other men about their adventures and conquests. They do not stay at home because the wife would be nagging and the grown-up children do not have anything to talk to them about.

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