Dealing with a Negative Child

[verygeksim]

verygeksim:

Hi jean

Thank you for the advice. I will be looking out for the book.

When it comes to checking work done, how do I provide feedback as opposed to criticism (yes, my girl probably sees it that way)?

She does her homework on her own and I come in to go through it. I don't always correct her errors although I am ParticulAr about neatness.

On that day, I wanted to show her how to gO about checking her own work. Err... But it didn't turn out well...

Oopsie. :oops: This should be addressed to Jade. Paiseh, paiseh.

[Jade]

There are gems of wisdom from the various parents posts here. Sometimes(or rather most of the time), when dealing with people n relationships, "fast is slow, and slow is fast". I hope u will give some thots to this n work on mending the relationship first. Take a step back for the time being when it comes to checking your DD’s work. All the best.

[Breadandmuffins]

Hi Jade

I find yr posts really helpful to me too. Could u also give an example of how verygeksim’s conversation with her DD should be when she was trying to point out her mistakes? Very often, I find the parenting books giving advice which I find hard to put into action.

Thank you.

[toddles]

verygeksim:

hi jean, bean bear, toddles and cherrygal


thank you much for your advice and encouragement.

You're welcome!

If u feel comfortable, maybe can share with us what it was in the past that kinda damaged the rlp?

[verygeksim]

oh yes, and thank you Jennifer too.


Jean, Jade and Jennifer posted consecutively … J J J… got a bit confused.

[verygeksim]

hi jean

"fast is slow and slow is fast" is certainly something I have to mull over.

I thought the book you mentioned was a title by Dr Louise Porter but I realised that the author you mentioned is a He. Could you share the title of the book you’re referring to, please?

[Jade]

verygeksim:

hi jean

\"fast is slow and slow is fast\" is certainly something I have to mull over.

I thought the book you mentioned was a title by Dr Louise Porter but I realised that the author you mentioned is a He. Could you share the title of the book you're referring to, please?

Hi verygeksim

U hv PM! Btw I m Jade through n through. Not Jean...u must be really very Gek sim until..... :slapshead:

[autumnbronze]

toddles:

I also read a book \"if i have to tell you one more time\" that discourages praise and encourages affirmation because the former is dependent on the \"praiser\".

e.g.
Praise: I'm so proud of you (child becomes addicted to pleasing parent at all costs)
Affirmation: You must be so proud of how you've done that. (focuses on child)

Praise: Good girl! (why is she good? what in particular is good? am i bad, if you don't call me good?)
Affirmation: You were really helpful in doing that for your sister. (focuses on
the behaviour).

Of course, I take the advice with a pinch of salt, cos sometimes I just want to say \"I'm so proud of you!\" because I am. But not to say it so often that their self-worth is caught up in what mama thinks of them. And instead of
\"good girl!\" I say \" that's really good behaviour!\" and never say \"you've been a bad girl\", but say \"that's bad behaviour\".

Hi Toddles,

Thank you for sharing these useful tips :hugs:

[autumnbronze]

Hi Jade,


Received your PM

:thankyou:

[verygeksim]

Jade:

verygeksim:

hi jean

\"fast is slow and slow is fast\" is certainly something I have to mull over.

I thought the book you mentioned was a title by Dr Louise Porter but I realised that the author you mentioned is a He. Could you share the title of the book you're referring to, please?

Hi verygeksim

U hv PM! Btw I m Jade through n through. Not Jean...u must be really very Gek sim until..... :slapshead:

Good grief!!! I made the same mistake again!!!! aiyoh. sorry!!

and yes, received the PM. Thank you!