Dealing with a Negative Child

[Breadandmuffins]

Hi Jade

I find yr posts really helpful to me too. Could u also give an example of how verygeksim’s conversation with her DD should be when she was trying to point out her mistakes? Very often, I find the parenting books giving advice which I find hard to put into action.

Thank you.

[toddles]

verygeksim:

hi jean, bean bear, toddles and cherrygal


thank you much for your advice and encouragement.

You're welcome!

If u feel comfortable, maybe can share with us what it was in the past that kinda damaged the rlp?

[verygeksim]

oh yes, and thank you Jennifer too.


Jean, Jade and Jennifer posted consecutively … J J J… got a bit confused.

[verygeksim]

hi jean

"fast is slow and slow is fast" is certainly something I have to mull over.

I thought the book you mentioned was a title by Dr Louise Porter but I realised that the author you mentioned is a He. Could you share the title of the book you’re referring to, please?

[Jade]

verygeksim:

hi jean

\"fast is slow and slow is fast\" is certainly something I have to mull over.

I thought the book you mentioned was a title by Dr Louise Porter but I realised that the author you mentioned is a He. Could you share the title of the book you're referring to, please?

Hi verygeksim

U hv PM! Btw I m Jade through n through. Not Jean...u must be really very Gek sim until..... :slapshead:

[autumnbronze]

toddles:

I also read a book \"if i have to tell you one more time\" that discourages praise and encourages affirmation because the former is dependent on the \"praiser\".

e.g.
Praise: I'm so proud of you (child becomes addicted to pleasing parent at all costs)
Affirmation: You must be so proud of how you've done that. (focuses on child)

Praise: Good girl! (why is she good? what in particular is good? am i bad, if you don't call me good?)
Affirmation: You were really helpful in doing that for your sister. (focuses on
the behaviour).

Of course, I take the advice with a pinch of salt, cos sometimes I just want to say \"I'm so proud of you!\" because I am. But not to say it so often that their self-worth is caught up in what mama thinks of them. And instead of
\"good girl!\" I say \" that's really good behaviour!\" and never say \"you've been a bad girl\", but say \"that's bad behaviour\".

Hi Toddles,

Thank you for sharing these useful tips :hugs:

[autumnbronze]

Hi Jade,


Received your PM

:thankyou:

[verygeksim]

Jade:

verygeksim:

hi jean

\"fast is slow and slow is fast\" is certainly something I have to mull over.

I thought the book you mentioned was a title by Dr Louise Porter but I realised that the author you mentioned is a He. Could you share the title of the book you're referring to, please?

Hi verygeksim

U hv PM! Btw I m Jade through n through. Not Jean...u must be really very Gek sim until..... :slapshead:

Good grief!!! I made the same mistake again!!!! aiyoh. sorry!!

and yes, received the PM. Thank you!

[cfan]

Hi


I don’t know whether the following would help,

So far along my parenting journey I have learnt never to compare my kids with other children. I have learnt to show them unconditional love and concern. I have learnt to ask them "What fun did you have at school today?" instead of "How many marks did you do for your lessons?" If your mindset is changed to just want to help them achieve the best they could with whatever abilities you can/have, I hope that they will "feel" your sincerity and together you can "go farther with your child"

Hope this helps. Jia You!!

[cjlim]

Mums, jia you! :lovesite: