In-law problems?

[fightingmom]

Pris.tang:

Hi i am a Newbie here to share and rant my story, i was preggy with my oldest in 2001 decided to keep the baby thus preparations started in 2000 as my ex hub side family is not rich so decided to do away with the weding and just rom. My mil n fil told me what u guess why not u ask ur dad to throw the dinner we pay back in installments. >< Yes my father is well to do but sorry i do not agree as to my dad marrying me off to them was like a reluctant thing for him he rather raised the baby on our side without marrying their son.


In Feb of 2001 we decided to get the rings and this rings hor were paid by my daddy dearest cause those cheapos wanted me to use sterling sliver as is cheaper. Best part when it came to trying on the rings guess who went with me not my ex hub BUT that thick skin fil of mine cause he told me he not feeling well cannot work need him to take over actually the main reason is his youngest son was coming home from home leave so he wanted to accompany his youngest.

I was definitely not happy but my dad told me baobei ni yao ren hao ma seeing as he could also ren i just went ith my dad wishes tried the rings and can say cause of him the marriage was cursed right from the start.

Now come to the 2nd oscar winning actress my mil the woman who made my hubby who he is a devil like her. She never once cook anything at all for me to jing bu she even expect me to do housework when i am heavily pregnant which i told my granny who came down and told her u want e can lend u the maid not ask my grand daughter to do the house work. And she can infront of my granny say no i never i asked her rest i even buy birdnest to cook for her you know i as like wth when did u even cook anything for me dont say birdnest even chicken essnce also dont have. Then best part is she was having a affair and i knew about it cause she brought the guy home when my fil was not around and ask me to keep quiet.

I told my ex hub and he said orh nvm want i long ago knew about it. So i just kept quiet, in June when i gave birth they did not see me nor baby till after my confinement and they insisted the full month must do at their place again my dad gave in, and they did not pay for anything it was my ex hub god father who step in and settled everything they did not even give baby and gold Jewel or what not but u know what this 2 thick skin people did my god pa gave them cash to buy a thermos flask since i be staying with them for 2 more months then moving to a rental unit, he knew baby needed a flask instead this 2 decided to buy a kettle for 30$ keep the remaining 100 and tell all the relatives that they bought the kettle not anyone esle and this time god pa flared and said loudly i gave u money to buy a flask u buy kettle for what.

Then he passed me the cash and told me girl u go buy i told him no need i still got money from my dad he said nvm i am the baby ah gong i buy for him to use see this is just the god ah gong and he can think those 2 are hopeless.

Then in 2003 the birth of my girl this one is the worst of experience i have i entrusted my boy to them to take care while i deliver 5hrs into delivery they called me and said we cannot handle boyboy can bring to your ah ma place i was like ok, i called my ah ma and said i was delivering my girl and they got shock u know why no one in my family knew i was preggy though they see me regularly cause to them they will have forced me to abort my baby cause i was anemic a 2nd pregnancy might cost my life, so she just said bring boyboy back, and my granny told me when they brought my son back he looks like he never bath in10days was so hungry and they still had the nerve to ask for taxi fare mind u thats thier eldest grandson they treated him like dirt.

Now come to the most exciting part and why i chose to end my marriage in 2007 i caught my ex having a affair not with anyone esle but with his own youngest bro wife this was the last straw for me i left the marriage and has since been supporting the 2 kids on my own i met my current hub in 2009 and he made me realize being love is like this what i went through was a nightmare cause till the end my ils said i should leave my hubby cause their youngest son will be divorcing his wife also i should let them be together. how nice is that till the end is still my fault and no one else.


And my divorce was well supported by my dad he paid for it clause for non alimony is simple he cannot see the kids at all.

Hi Pris.tang,

I feel so sad and horrified after reading about your 1st marriage. Am glad for you that it is all behind u and now you have found someone whom you and your kids deserve. I admire your strength and am glad you haven't lose faith and have given love a second chance. I wish all the best for you and your children. :grphug:

[Pris.011283tang]

I left hell and met my current hubby at my new workplace never thought sparks will fly but it did now no more ils problem cause hubby adoptive parent are both in heaven but have bil who is always lock in his own room.


And my kids especially my youngest her bond is as strong as glue with my current she does not knowledge her birth father calls him uncle i did not ask her to do it she has her own mind and she has told me before she has only one daddy who love her to pieces which is my current hubby.

Honestly speaking hes the best thing that has happen so far hes willing to let me stay home to nurture our princess and monster boy while he brings home the bread and butter. :celebrate: :celebrate:

[auntieM]

buds:

auntieM:

For us my DS is only family when 'bills' are concerned.. ...

The feeling of her fingers on my arm.. ...acidic de.. .
Almost 20 years of 'drama' hard to 'un-do'...

Ooohh yeh... Like how you described that... acidic. :idea:

That's only for fingers.

Imagine how I feel abt kiss on forehead with her lips? :yikes:

Ooouch.. .. :mad:
:faint:

[pinky]

based on all these horror encounters and the stuff our in-laws do, maybe a better word to call them is outlaw :evil: :evil:

[Funz]

I generally do not have much issues with my MIL these days. But am starting to get irritated lately. Dunno who I am more irritated with MIL or DH on this matter.


MIL is of a different faith from DH. She has been trying hard to get DH to go to church with her but DH has been resisting. Knowing that her direct approach is not working with DH, she is targetting DD now. Every chance she has she will tell DD to go to church with her.

Last weekend she asked DH to send DD to her house so that she can bring DD to church with her. I have no idea why she thinks DH would agree to that. And even if DH were to agree, I will not.

I appreciate that she will always have the kids in her prayers and I do not have any issues with her sharing with DD about Christ. But somehow, her sharing is a bit skewed with a lot of superstitious overtones.

DH finds it difficult to just turn her down each time she asks to bring DD to church so he makes one excuse after another. Told DH to tell her straight that he does not like her imposing her believes on DD but he doesn’t want to. Say will hurt her.

Guiding our kids in their religious faith is our job, not hers and I really wish she will not try to influence our kids. It is one thing if she try to convert me or DH but stop targetting the kids.

[coolit]

Or perhaps you could go with her on special occasions like Christmas or easter service once in a while but say that for normal weeks you are all busy etc? (so she does not get offended?)

[Funz]

coolit:

Or perhaps you could go with her on special occasions like Christmas or easter service once in a while but say that for normal weeks you are all busy etc? (so she does not get offended?)

Hmmm... how should I put it. It is not about offending her, it is about getting her to understand that we do not want her to impose her believes on our kids. And to stop trying to manipulate DH through DD.

MIL means well and I appreciate that. So after thinking through, I conclude, I am more irritated with DH, for his inept handling of this issue with his mother. :razz:

[Sun_2010]

Funz:

Hmmm... how should I put it. It is not about offending her, it is about getting her to understand that we do not want her to impose her believes on our kids. And to stop trying to manipulate DH through DD.

Been there. Not easy, but the sooner he handles it the better. The more irritated he becomes, the more he feels he is being manupilated, the more emotional it will be when he finally faces his mom. It is not easy to face one's mum over such issues , but it is easier to nip now than later.

Funz:

MIL means well and I appreciate that. So after thinking through, I conclude, I am more irritated with DH, for his inept handling of this issue with his mother. :razz:

And yes ,IMHO, most MIL issues will be diminished if DHs knew how to draw the line. As DW, I often blame MIL as it is easier to make her the villian than my loving DH . I know deep down , it is my DH who is shirking his role.

[janet88]

Put it this way, most men are NOT able to handle their mothers. So we, the wives suffer.

[Pris.011283tang]

bil is drving me to a wall…he just inform me and hubby to hide my daugther (in his words he does not aknoweldge my girl as a part of this family) as she has chickenpox somewhere other then at home because his queen gf is coming over.


I am lucky hubby is standing up to the brother and he said u pay for a hotel room at marina bay sands we bring her there to stay for a night ^^.

Honestly i am lucky hes standing by me but how many more nonsense episode am i going to endure from his bil before we move out soon god knows.

The house was left to hubs by his late adopted parents thats why he oblige to stand by his brother but he will not to do it if his brothers harms the princess in anyway.

and i just discovered the top up meter has not enough credit lets hope that due his brother oops i forgot excuse there is enough credit for the aircon to run the whole night ><