PSLE 2012 - child has no interest to study
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1. Set common goals. Sit down and have a proper talk (not nagging session, but give your child a chance to air his/her views). If your child has reached the stage where anything you say is ‘utter rubbish’, then probably rope in a respected adult to be the mediator. I’ve done this many times for my students. Sit down with the parents and go through expectations, future plans, immediate actions, etc.
2. Give your child some ‘breathing space’. Easier said than done?
The main point is to let your child know that if he/she can prove that he/she can be trusted to manage his/her own time, then you will gladly step back and not nag.
Give them opportunities to prove themselves while you observe. You will still step in if they did not keep their end of the deal. And they can’t argue anymore because the chance has been given to them.
3. "Interest" is very subjective and to some parents, ‘ability’ will cloud the child’s interest. The child’s past experiences will also affect his/her ‘interest’ in studying.
(a) Be upfront. Studying may not be the most interesting thing to do, but they have to do it.
(b) Giving up a little ‘freedom’ now to study hard and reaping the benefits in future is something some children can never understand. Rephrase this by adding in something they like. Example: If you study hard now, you can do well enough to get into a school with fantastic soccer group and you will have the chance to join the school team and play for the school!
Praise and reward goes a long way. Celebrate small baby steps. If you child managed to stick to the agreed timetable for the day, he/she deserves some praise, even if it was just for that day. Praising your child will encourage him/her to continue with the good behaviour.
Parents, if you are really having difficulty communicating with your child or getting the message across, please consider getting 3rd party help. Get an adult your child respects and will listen to to help you start the topic and be the mediator.
Many parents have told me that they told their kids the exact same thing I told them, but the kids do not want to listen to their parents, they only want to listen to the tutor/teacher.
And don’t keep repeating what you want to convey. Honestly, they may seem distracted, but they ARE listening. They may seem indifferent, but they DO know.
Say it once, remind them a second time. And stop. Don’t go on like a broken record. Simple actions like a sigh from you and they will know what they’ve done wrong. Children are sensitive and they know, even if they choose to act like they don’t. -
mrswongtuition:
1. Set common goals. Sit down and have a proper talk (not nagging session, but give your child a chance to air his/her views). If your child has reached the stage where anything you say is 'utter rubbish', then probably rope in a respected adult to be the mediator. I've done this many times for my students. Sit down with the parents and go through expectations, future plans, immediate actions, etc.
2. Give your child some 'breathing space'. Easier said than done?
The main point is to let your child know that if he/she can prove that he/she can be trusted to manage his/her own time, then you will gladly step back and not nag.
Give them opportunities to prove themselves while you observe. You will still step in if they did not keep their end of the deal. And they can't argue anymore because the chance has been given to them.
3. \"Interest\" is very subjective and to some parents, 'ability' will cloud the child's interest. The child's past experiences will also affect his/her 'interest' in studying.
(a) Be upfront. Studying may not be the most interesting thing to do, but they have to do it.
(b) Giving up a little 'freedom' now to study hard and reaping the benefits in future is something some children can never understand. Rephrase this by adding in something they like. Example: If you study hard now, you can do well enough to get into a school with fantastic soccer group and you will have the chance to join the school team and play for the school!
(c) Praise and reward goes a long way. Celebrate small baby steps. If you child managed to stick to the agreed timetable for the day, he/she deserves some praise, even if it was just for that day. Praising your child will encourage him/her to continue with the good behaviour.
Parents, if you are really having difficulty communicating with your child or getting the message across, please consider getting 3rd party help. Get an adult your child respects and will listen to to help you start the topic and be the mediator.
Many parents have told me that they told their kids the exact same thing I told them, but the kids do not want to listen to their parents, they only want to listen to the tutor/teacher.
And don't keep repeating what you want to convey. Honestly, they may seem distracted, but they ARE listening. They may seem indifferent, but they DO know.
Say it once, remind them a second time. And stop. Don't go on like a broken record. Simple actions like a sigh from you and they will know what they've done wrong. Children are sensitive and they know, even if they choose to act like they don't.
:goodpost: Thanks for sharing ! -
I'm really Clueless & don't know how to help my boy. He doesn't seem to mind his study! He don't complete the tution homework, don't complete school work etc. He can forgotten his half completed work! Did ask him whether he finish his work? He will say yes.
As he's in p6, i do not want to conduct daily checking on his bag/work, i hope he will develop a sense of responsibility but he was showing any despite over the months we gave him.
Received feedback that in scc, while teacher are going thru the explaination, he is not focusing and kept turning to see the others having tea break. Such act is being observed and feedback, when asked, he said he's hungry, even a few mins more he also cannot wait :(.
I felt so helpless on how to kick this bad habit & he doesn't seem to mind it. Sigh, what shall i do? -
I have 2 girls.. my elder is in P6 this year.. and she is very disciplined in her school work and i dont need to remind her what needs to do.. she even planned her own schedule
However my younger girl in P4 has very low concentration in her work.. she walks in and out the kitchen, drink water, goes toilet, take tit bits etc.. (she says she is hungry altho she just finished her lunch!).. so i have to really 'sit thru' with her on work. and as we talked and revised together, she learnt and remembered things better.. and most importantly praised her and encourage her that she can do better
however i guessed not many parents have the 'luxury time' to do this.. but if u can, try to spend abit more time doing some work with them.. and understand their 'weaknesses'..
Just to share, my 2 girls have been having private tuition and i got 'qualified' tutors like teachers, ex-teacher to teach them.. however, i dont see improvement for my younger girl.. in fact getting bad to worst. I asked my girl if she wanted to try out enrichment classes instead as i thought perhaps full attention during tuition could be a 'stress' for the 1.5hrs? and we started to do enrichment class (for her Chinese).. and she enjoyed it! and she said she prefers group lesson! more interesting.. and i read their notes, and they have a 'focus' every week what needs to do etc.. more systematic unlike normal tuition, they just revise and practise assessment papers (I think).. so i guess it depends what your child needs..
on the other hand, my elder girl still does private tuition as she prefers more attention and can ask questions.. both of them very different in terms the way they study.. -
Like the minority, we don’t have the TV in the living room, only in a specific room for special occasion.
I saw a parent who commented that getting away with TV/PC is not a solution as they need to learn how to be self-disciplined. I disagree with this idea though, just imagine a person who is a drug addict and wanting to quit drug, how on earth can you expect him to achieve it if the supply of drug is not ceased?
i guess it is about stick, carrot, habit and appropriate environment; stick is the punishment, carrot is the reward, habit is the daily routine to do his work from young, environment is rid of distraction like tv/pc/game consoles, so apparently for the sake of the children i am afraid the parents must sacrifice the privilege of watching tv after a long hours day at work. -
On the part on learning styles. I can associate with hsm.
I’ve 3 kids. My P5 girl is the type who can self manage. Do her homework, do her revision, etc… I only need to dish out reminder from time to time.
My P4 boy is the type cannot sit still… dh wonders if he has attention deficit issues. He will need to go to toilet, drink water, go toilet again… I had to set time limit. Eg. if he is not out in 5 mins… I will switch off 1 light first, etc… otherwise he might spend a long time inside there. I also have to check his bag everyday for homework and question him. He is the type that needs me to sit down beside him. If I step away, he will end up talking to the sister, play with stationery, etc… But he is not like that all the time. He will do his own homework in the afternoon after school.
He used to sit right behind the class and this affects his focus. I requested teacher to put him infront/ at the side since he is like the biggest boy in class. Oh yes… he is the type who don’t like 1 to 1 tuition as well as it bores him to tears. Enrichment classes suit him better. His teachers and us all believe he can be a band 1 student. He has the capability but we feel that he has not put in his best effort yet. Messy and untidy handwriting. He knows how to do but anyhow do. His FT and EL enrichment teacher recently told him that he is a A studentand set target for him for SA1. He is very passionate though about band. He will be attending some talent development camp for band that is organised by MOE. We are trying to position for band DSA for him. I told him that if he wants to continue band, he has to show decent results. Otherwise, he cannot continue anymore as if his results is not decent, will the desire school offer him a place??? Not likely.
Meanwhile for no. 3… She is totally different. She is apparently the most challenging. She is P1 this year. The type that cannot force if not will backfire. I learnt to manage my expectations with her. She is actually the "laziest" too… She is the type who will comment… why must i do this and that? Why must I do so much??? She is very different from her siblings. Definitely not as diligent as dd 1. In fact, ds appears to be better in the sense that if you push, he will move. Sometimes, he will move more than you expect. -
@Ljas
LOL. Ur DS sounds so much like me during PSLE last year (2011)! But no worries. Jiayou and enlighten him. Hopefully he will kaiqiao during this crucial period! -
@hometutor;
That's the rewarding system right? Ljas already said it doesn't work for her child sadly
But yeah, keep an eye on him and sit beside him. He won't be running anywhere with your eyes pinned on him 24/7. -
mrswongtuition:
That's good. Then how do u motivate those students who are not so interested in their studies?1. Set common goals. Sit down and have a proper talk (not nagging session, but give your child a chance to air his/her views). If your child has reached the stage where anything you say is 'utter rubbish', then probably rope in a respected adult to be the mediator. I've done this many times for my students. Sit down with the parents and go through expectations, future plans, immediate actions, etc.
2. Give your child some 'breathing space'. Easier said than done?
The main point is to let your child know that if he/she can prove that he/she can be trusted to manage his/her own time, then you will gladly step back and not nag.
Give them opportunities to prove themselves while you observe. You will still step in if they did not keep their end of the deal. And they can't argue anymore because the chance has been given to them.
3. \"Interest\" is very subjective and to some parents, 'ability' will cloud the child's interest. The child's past experiences will also affect his/her 'interest' in studying.
(a) Be upfront. Studying may not be the most interesting thing to do, but they have to do it.
(b) Giving up a little 'freedom' now to study hard and reaping the benefits in future is something some children can never understand. Rephrase this by adding in something they like. Example: If you study hard now, you can do well enough to get into a school with fantastic soccer group and you will have the chance to join the school team and play for the school!
(c) Praise and reward goes a long way. Celebrate small baby steps. If you child managed to stick to the agreed timetable for the day, he/she deserves some praise, even if it was just for that day. Praising your child will encourage him/her to continue with the good behaviour.
Parents, if you are really having difficulty communicating with your child or getting the message across, please consider getting 3rd party help. Get an adult your child respects and will listen to to help you start the topic and be the mediator.
Many parents have told me that they told their kids the exact same thing I told them, but the kids do not want to listen to their parents, they only want to listen to the tutor/teacher.
And don't keep repeating what you want to convey. Honestly, they may seem distracted, but they ARE listening. They may seem indifferent, but they DO know.
Say it once, remind them a second time. And stop. Don't go on like a broken record. Simple actions like a sigh from you and they will know what they've done wrong. Children are sensitive and they know, even if they choose to act like they don't. -
starrysky321:
:goodpost: I am one of the minority. We only watch DVD during school holiday & we don't have PC/game consoles too. :celebrate:Like the minority, we don't have the TV in the living room, only in a specific room for special occasion.
I saw a parent who commented that getting away with TV/PC is not a solution as they need to learn how to be self-disciplined. I disagree with this idea though, just imagine a person who is a drug addict and wanting to quit drug, how on earth can you expect him to achieve it if the supply of drug is not ceased?
i guess it is about stick, carrot, habit and appropriate environment; stick is the punishment, carrot is the reward, habit is the daily routine to do his work from young, environment is rid of distraction like tv/pc/game consoles, so apparently for the sake of the children i am afraid the parents must sacrifice the privilege of watching tv after a long hours day at work.
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