In-law problems?

[northernstar]

Chenonceau:

znzyzyzx:

But they are really nice. Is just that 相见好同住难。

I wont be happy staying with them because I dont like to have people bother about my family affairs, and you know old folds like to 管头管尾, they think they eat salt more than we eat rice , so they are just being nice, trying to teach you, give you advice, but my character is very iron tooth type, I dont like to be bothered, I like to do things my way lah, dont like to have a 管家婆。

Me too

yeah mi 3~! :rahrah: :hi5:

[cherrygal]

northernstar:

i do not understand why i can stop my own parents when they interfere too much and he cannot do it. is it cos he is too filial? :stupid:

[/quote]


I also asked this question to my DH. The only answer is, the family dynamics are different. My family likes to be open whereas his family likes to sweep everything under the carpet. Not happy also just smile. DH has been taught from young to keep quiet.

[rotund]

Hi all,

This is the first time I’ve posted in this thread. just quarrelled with dh over his father.currently staying with my fil. He has the habit of cleaning himself after passing motion, splashing faeces on the toilet wall, floor and toilet bowl. Been telling him for 2 yrs n today i brought up to dh and commented that i can’t stand it anymore n will move out. Dh screamed that i threatened him n made 难做人。dh spoke to his dad n fil screaming that passing motion is now a sin. Now fil said i can go back to my mum’s pl n to stop using the bathroom n use the other toilet with only a smallstanding pl. Really dun wan to make things difficult for dh but hate to stay with fil

[janet88]

cherrygal:

northernstar:

i do not understand why i can stop my own parents when they interfere too much and he cannot do it. is it cos he is too filial? :stupid:

I also asked this question to my DH. The only answer is, the family dynamics are different. My family likes to be open whereas his family likes to sweep everything under the carpet. Not happy also just smile. DH has been taught from young to keep quiet.

Same here...my hubby was brought up to be one who bottles up. He wasn't used to my family at first...with my aunts/uncles, we can talk about everything and he found it disrespectful. But this is my family, and we have been like this from young. My mum's siblings saw my brother and I grow up from young. To me, I find that if I am unhappy with something, I will speak up. But his mother brought them up to be the 'clamshell' type.

[aurorin]

northernstar:

Chenonceau:

[quote=\"znzyzyzx\"]
But they are really nice. Is just that 相见好同住难。

I wont be happy staying with them because I dont like to have people bother about my family affairs, and you know old folds like to 管头管尾, they think they eat salt more than we eat rice , so they are just being nice, trying to teach you, give you advice, but my character is very iron tooth type, I dont like to be bothered, I like to do things my way lah, dont like to have a 管家婆。

Me too

yeah mi 3~! :rahrah: :hi5:[/quote]me 4!! :rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

I think in a way what your DH is right also.. they dont have many years and i do try to think from their point of view.. Just that on many issues we dont see eye to eye, doesnt mean they are always wrong. Just different strokes for different folks.. plus generation gap. I also dont like pple come and tell me do this do that (even out of concern)... guess i am the iron-tooth type too.. :rotflmao:

[aurorin]

cherrygal:

northernstar:

i do not understand why i can stop my own parents when they interfere too much and he cannot do it. is it cos he is too filial? :stupid:

I also asked this question to my DH. The only answer is, the family dynamics are different. My family likes to be open whereas his family likes to sweep everything under the carpet. Not happy also just smile. DH has been taught from young to keep quiet.[/quote]

This is exactly the difference between my family and DH's family too! Even if wanna say something, must make sure frame in a super nice way.. cannot be upfront and honest w/i the family... i guess on one level, it is like wanting to just maintain peace so dont want to confront anything possible 'negative' things but also in a way, quite an escapist/ostrich in the sand way of dealing with things..

[pinky]

my ILs think they are most superior beings in this world so anyone outside their circle who do well in their career/life, they will surely come up with sarcastic remarks which are very 'bitchy'. This means their own in laws are always their 'targets' and they will spend their weekly gatherings gossiping about others.


When one of their daughters did not do well in her 'A' levels, they remarked:\" bec the exams are tough what and the teachers did not prepare them well enough\" but when one of their husband's niece topped her JC in the same exam, they remarked: \"she's lucky she spotted the questions lor, anyone can do it what, those TYS right? You mean her JC engrave her name on the board - aiyoh, I thought only dead people have their names engraved on wooden plagues!\" :mad: :pokeeye: :spank: :nunchuk:

So pathetic. :roll: Don't even get me started on their religious beliefs. :evil:

[macaron12]

how do you celebrate mother’s day with your mum & your MIL?

[raytan30]

I signed up for this forum because i typed "unhappy with in laws" and found this.


hai i am staying with my in laws and my wife will not grow up as long as we stay with them. my in laws are nice and i spend quite a bit of money on them on holidays, etc.

the problem started with my bro in law always say no money and never even pay for nothing. everytime we go out for dinner i pay for in laws and bil’s family. until now i quite du-l*n.

so now i sibeh sian.

[LOLMum]

you have to tell your wife…you cant be footing the bills all the time.


cut down the frequency of having meals outside especially with bil.

if no choice got to go, try those zhi char stalls (but also not cheap). when ordering food, if bil trys to order expensive dishes or coke for his family etc, say frankly no money, got to split the bills. bil says no money, then you say just have water. most important, you be the one to order the food not the freeloaders.

you wife (as u said still behave like a xiao jie) will definitely be unhappy.
but it is your hard earned money right?