Bedroom Issue

[erista]

cherrygal:

The only way is to have a heart to heart talk with him. Gently broach the topic of ED and assure him you will never think any lesser of him. ED can be treated with medication.

I agree on the h2h talk, but don't jump the gun & assume he has ED.
Find a good time to just cuddle up with each other & talk... Must be very sensitive in broaching the topic of not being intimate for so long.

[pacetone]

erista:

I agree on the h2h talk, but don't jump the gun & assume he has ED. Find a good time to just cuddle up with each other & talk... Must be very sensitive in broaching the topic of not being intimate for so long.

I agree, have a good talk and don't conclude that he has ED. Could be some other reasons.

[Canvas]

Age also plays a part. My DH is also 41 and he is definitely not as "active" as say, 5 years ago. There can be many reasons, parenting responsibilities (for example, our kids sleep with us. Sigh.), work stress, age, health etc.

[cherrygal]

erista:

cherrygal:

The only way is to have a heart to heart talk with him. Gently broach the topic of ED and assure him you will never think any lesser of him. ED can be treated with medication.

I agree on the h2h talk, but don't jump the gun & assume he has ED.
Find a good time to just cuddle up with each other & talk... Must be very sensitive in broaching the topic of not being intimate for so long.

Yah, you must first find out his reasons for not wanting to be intimate. If no proper reason given, then you could mention you can help him if it's health related. If he acts blur, then gently ask if there's anything you could do. Tell him it's not normal for a married couple to abstain for more than a year. There must be a reason. Age is one thing but even if he were dat tired, he would agree to once in 2 months bah...

[cherrygal]

BTW, do tell him to go for a medical check up if possible. Not for ED but for other health issues such as diabetes, high blood etc. Diabetes can lead to ED actually. An uncle had that.

[Imp75]

Could it be signs of infidelity? Besides rejecting sex, is there any other telltale signs?

[Imp75]

Could it be signs of infidelity? Besides rejecting sex, is there any other telltale signs?

[happyheart]

I don't mean to scare you but my girlfriend faced the same issue 3 years ago. Her hubby's excuse was that he thinks ' sex is dirty'! My girlfriend was so shy to share with me then but came to accept it over time although she cannot understand why. A few months later, she found out that he has been seeing someone else ( he travelled to Taiwan frequently). My girlfriend is now divorced.


My point is...No matter what could be the reason, it is not normal to have either party to simply decide not to have intimacy for a long period. I guess age is not an issue ( but work stress can result to bor mood at times!) so perhaps you can share with him openly how you feel about being in a marriage relationship and How not having intimacy is affecting you. Tell him you are open to listening and ready to help in any way. Give him a 'good back rub' tonight before you start talking :love:

Meanwhile, stay attractive!

[sleepy]

Rena06:

Sometimes, I wonder if my hubby is a gay. I will always secretly check his hp and I could not find any evidance of him having a martial affair with another woman. I did everything I could to be attrative in his eyes but my hubby will totaly ignore me. When we go out and other men look at me, he will get annoyed. Why is it other men find me attractive but not my husband?

If there isn't any tell tale signs of a 3rd party....perhaps he has low sex drive?
http://men.webmd.com/guide/revving-up-low-libido

What was the usual frequency before this long break?

[Rena06]

Thanks for the tips and advices. I did have a HTH talk with Hubby. He claims that his high blood pressure is the possible cause of him not to get erection. He told me every time he has the urge to have sex but could not have reaction. He is ashamed because of his inability to have erection that why he keep pushing me away.


Recently, his friend has recommended a Jamu (traditional malay med). He starts to have erection again but I’m worried about the side effect. He mentions that a few of his Malay and non- Malay friends have tried. So far no one complains. Even, a friend of his, who is using this Jamu managed to make his wife pregnant - he is 49 and his wife is 47. Hubby even said that their baby was born healthy and normal despite of their age.

I have read somewhere that you can’t combine traditional med with the general med. Very dangerous but Hubby is a stubborn man. :scared: