How to teach children to handle bullies

[smartmummy]

hi all!

my p3 son tricky replying and use disgusting words and playing with sister that learning from peers.How to handle this?He said he learnt these techniques, cos defeat his friends.Thanks in advance

[Anon]

I am a believer that we should teach our kids how to hold their own from a young age. I always tell my daughters that they are born bold to manage the numerous challenges in life. Bullies only have power over them if they allow them. If you parents intervene directly, the bullies and peers will lose respect for your children.


For my girls, I teach them to avoid/resolve conflict whenever possible, retort with wit and retaliate with physical manoeuvres which do not harm the other. E.g. staying away from the bullies, not showing any fear when encountered, standing up to them with comebacks if confronted and neutralizing physical attacks by deflection or jamming.

It’s a great opportunity for them to develop EQ and character in the face of adversity. My P1 daughter was emotionally-bullied by P2 girls while on the school bus for the last 3 weeks. It ranged from unfairly claiming her seat, constantly mocking her name and deceiving her into moving a seat back on the pretext of sitting together. It was a baptism of fire but she bravely stood up to the bullies. Not only did she make them looked like lousy bullies, she gained newfound respect among her peers and of herself. Well, I couldn’t be any prouder for her.

[Allanice]

Anon:

I am a believer that we should teach our kids how to hold their own from a young age. I always tell my daughters that they are born bold to manage the numerous challenges in life. Bullies only have power over them if they allow them. If you parents intervene directly, the bullies and peers will lose respect for your children.


For my girls, I teach them to avoid/resolve conflict whenever possible, retort with wit and retaliate with physical manoeuvres which do not harm the other. E.g. staying away from the bullies, not showing any fear when encountered, standing up to them with comebacks if confronted and neutralizing physical attacks by deflection or jamming.

It's a great opportunity for them to develop EQ and character in the face of adversity. My P1 daughter was emotionally-bullied by P2 girls while on the school bus for the last 3 weeks. It ranged from unfairly claiming her seat, constant ly mocking her name and deceiving her into moving a seat back on the pretext of sitting together. It was a baptism of fire but she bravely stood up to the bullies. Not only did she make them looked like lousy bullies, she gained newfound respect among her peers and of herself. Well, I couldn't be any prouder for her.

This reminds me of my primary school days..... I was also bullied in the school bus before

[warriortemujin]

When a child gets bullied, the 1st instinct is lost. As parents, I think we should teach them how to handle it. Best is show them the right way to handle bullies. How you would like your child to handle, would very much depends on what you deem best.


For me, I like to teach my boys martial arts. Not to ask them to fight but at least I know that they could protect themselves, one day should they be bullied.

[Compass]

Came across article on How to Deal with Bullying:

http://www.family.org.sg/default.aspx?go=article&aid=943

Cheers..

[Blue Pearl]

Tks for the article

[Beatrice_NoQ]

Angelight:

My DD (nursery class) came home today and told me that a 'naughty' boy in school slapped her mouth! :shock: As she said this, her eyes welled up with tears. :love:


I asked further and found out that the teacher merely chided the boy and asked DD to wash her face in the toilet cos she was crying and tears streaking her face.

This is not the first time DD's classmates have been rough with her. I always told her to tell the 'bully' to \"stop it, don't do that. I don't like it\" and then tell the teacher about it. But she always ends up keeping quiet or just cry. :slapshead:

What shld I do? I don't want to complain to the teacher every time she got 'bullied' as it may appear I'm over protective. But it hurt my heart every time DD comes home and complain that so-and-so hit her. Any parent got any advice to get DD to defend herself from being bullied? :nunchuk:

I think the most important thing here is to allow your daughter to stand up for herself. Perhaps you can show her a few movies of empowered girls who stand up for themselves in the face of bullying and adversity. I'm sure there are many teen movies that show this. Also, it would be good to constantly encourage her to speak up. When you prepare her dinner and if she ever does say that she doesn't like the food, commend her for her honesty and for speaking up! Slowly she'll gain more confidence in standing her ground.

It's absolutely vital to show a bully that you're not afraid - so your daughter should look him square in the face and never run or cry when he tries to bully her again. Worst case scenario: punch him back! LOL. kidding!

[Beatrice_NoQ]

Angelight:

My DD (nursery class) came home today and told me that a 'naughty' boy in school slapped her mouth! :shock: As she said this, her eyes welled up with tears. :love:


I asked further and found out that the teacher merely chided the boy and asked DD to wash her face in the toilet cos she was crying and tears streaking her face.

This is not the first time DD's classmates have been rough with her. I always told her to tell the 'bully' to \"stop it, don't do that. I don't like it\" and then tell the teacher about it. But she always ends up keeping quiet or just cry. :slapshead:

What shld I do? I don't want to complain to the teacher every time she got 'bullied' as it may appear I'm over protective. But it hurt my heart every time DD comes home and complain that so-and-so hit her. Any parent got any advice to get DD to defend herself from being bullied? :nunchuk:

I think the most important thing here is to allow your daughter to stand up for herself. Perhaps you can show her a few movies of empowered girls who stand up for themselves in the face of bullying and adversity. I'm sure there are many teen movies that show this. Also, it would be good to constantly encourage her to speak up. When you prepare her dinner and if she ever does say that she doesn't like the food, commend her for her honesty and for speaking up! Slowly she'll gain more confidence in standing her ground.

It's absolutely vital to show a bully that you're not afraid - so your daughter should look him square in the face and never run or cry when he tries to bully her again. Worst case scenario: punch him back! LOL. kidding!

[Divamama]

Hi Angelight, I would be very heart pain if it happened to my dd! I’m at a lost as to what to do, how to teach a 4 year old girl. There was a girl in her class who was very loud, very rough, and very temperamental. She often picks fights with her classmates, especially my dd cos she’s new in class. I’ve spoken to the teachers, who said they will monitor but ‘accidents’ inevitably happen. I’ve spoken to her super defensive parents, and got shrugged off by them. Only made myself more upset.


The situation eventually resolved itself when, thank goodness, her parents transferred her to another school. But how should I teach her to stand up for herself? Saying no firmly doesn’t work most times. Running away, sometimes my dd is not fast cos she’s quite blur. Ignoring agitated the bully even more. My husband asked her to hit back harder as a last resort, which she eventually did, but I am afraid that it will breed aggressive behavior. Headache.

[savvytechgirl]

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Hi parents!

This is posted in the parents support group portal and thought it might be something that you can join if you are keen to find out how to protect your children from threats in cybercrimes and understand the impact of cyber-bullying/and how the new anti harassment law can protect you and your children. There is also an interesting dialogue panel that covers different expertise including of how to use technology to safeguard your children.

This is in collaboration with the Coalition against bullying for children and youth with Microsoft Singapore and is happening on 31st May from 10am - 12pm.

You can find the agenda and register (Registration is free) via the link below and also have attached the e-invite. There is also a simple game at the end of the session, might stand a chance to win the Xbox 360 bundle worth $399.

http://bit.ly/1gmb8CY