How to discipline a 2+ yr old kid?
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omg , my gal recently like to scream anywhere she feels like to… sometime for no reasons… she screams in library, restaurant, home, in car… i ask her to stop that… she gets angry and start throwing things or even hit me with her hands…
what should i do? help…
thks -
My DH will carry her out for a short walk if she starts doing that. She will calm down faster. Distraction is the key.
Dun worry, it is a passing phase. They are trying to see how loud they can go and also trying to assert themselves. Testing water… -
Actually, I have a 2+ yr also. I will walk away and let him throw his tantrums, even if it is in the public. At the start, he can even lie flat on the floor in the department store. I will just ignore. After some time, he will get up by himself when he sees me walk away.
And I will only appear when he starts to find me. It is only then that I will ask him if he knows why I walk away and explain the wrong of his behaviour.
As for throwing things, I will not pick up for him. Let him understand the idea of once thrown, gone forever. And I will tell him I will give away his toys since he wants to throw it away. There was once I really "give it away" (by hiding it) and he knows I meant what I say. To date, he has not seen "this toy".
By the way, I realized hitting does back fire also. Now I only threaten him with the cane or hit my hand hard on the table to produce the loud bang. I try not to hit him. -
First, did you or any of your family members scream at each other at home? If so, your child is learning it...
cherrygal and brainkid gave very good advice on what to do too.
For me, I DO hit my kids but I have to add in an additional step: I tell my kids WHY I am going to hit them. Once they understand why, I execute the action (Whack!) :evil:
This is much more effective for me, rather than just hitting without explanation. -
Have you ever think that your girl is different? She is two, how is her communication skill? Using words, phrases, or sentence? Can she express herself? If you have query about all these, I suggest you to see a child development doctor.
If everything are fine, try to discipline by using 123 method. Eg, she hits you. Step 1: warn her. She hits again. Step 2: you say one. She stops and become good behaved, then that's fine. You don't need to nag her for why shouldn't hit blah blah. If she becomes mad and hit some more, step 3: you say two. Allow a feww seconds to get her response. If she keeps on hitting or screaming,etc, step4: you say three. Immediately remove her to a designated time out place/corner. Time out her for two min (she is two). During timeout, totally no attention given to her. Pretend you are a rock. No look at her (at least she thinks that you are not looking at her), somemore make yourself disappear.
Count the time when she calms down, ie the two min doesnt incl those cranky times. Approach her when time is up. Talk to her in topics like continuing what you both initially want to do. But not bug her for the temper thing. Act like the temper was not there. No sorry required. Super nanny tells you to make the kid hug or say sorry, but in fact it's no need. Refer to the book 1-2-3 parenting. This works for 2-12 age of kids. I am using this skill since my girl and my boy and the skill works amazingly. No need to nag much and they just conform! Most of the time I only need to count to 1. You can try it out too.
And I did not even once hit them. I believe behavior is learnt. I do not want them to hit others. A friend told me someone is very proud that when she raises her arm up and is going to slap, the kids are so well behaved. She never needs to do the actual slapping. But if your kids teacher is like this, can you take it easy? For me I definitely will sue her to die. :yikes:
Only my opinion la. -
if we have tried notti corner and counting to 1,2,3 and it doesnt work? what other methods can we use without having to hit them?
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Caning a 2+ gal is not recommended lah… You can scare with mention of the cane. I think it’s too young to cane. She won’t understand and will be traumatised.
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when he was at that age, i’ll put him in a corner (the number of minutes = his age). it’s not so much as to punish but to allow him to calm down. after that, i’ll try to find out what is wrong or to explain what he did wrong. if he hadn’t calmed down yet, he’ll go to the corner and take a moment again. usually he will calm down. sometimes he tells me what’s bothering him and sometimes he doesn’t. so i just play by ear really.
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What if the grandma spoils the kid so much so that not only do you have to discipline the kid but also the claimed to know-it-all grandma? :faint:
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Instead of canning, maybe deprive her of things she wan… Eg. No tv, no snacks if refuse to eat, no going out etc instead of canning…
As for grandmas who spoil kids try explaining to her ur logic for the discipline, if it’s mum in law get the hubby or daughter to talk to her directly…
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