Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?

[Mawar]

I was most tempted to roll out corporal punishment when my kids were preschoolers. They tested boundaries and patience, made unreasonable demands and threw temper tantrums.


I followed every episode of Super Nanny, and managed to tailor the timeout corner successfully.

From innocent gurgling babies, our kids morphed into classical textbook Terrible Twos and Horrible Threes. For those parents going through this phase, take heart that it will pass.

Like what a few of you shared earlier, it really helps to be consistent in your parenting approach, and to walk away when you feel anger building up. Arm your kids with tools to deal with anger, condition them to learn delay gratification, tell them that harsh words and tone can be hurtful, and other life skills to deal with meltdowns.

[joyceharper]

I agree that punishment isn’t just an Asian thing. But I guess, the question I have is, where do you draw the bounds? I personally think that when the child is young, token spanks work. But when the child starts to grow up, I don’t think that it is as effective anymore. They start to have faculties that require - explanation if you would. A "rod" won’t do it. There needs to be an incorporation of reasoning and making consequences clear. Then from there probably move to rewards and reasoning to show how good choices result in good results. Just my two cents worth.

[Imami]

joyceharper:

I agree that punishment isn't just an Asian thing. But I guess, the question I have is, where do you draw the bounds? I personally think that when the child is young, token spanks work. But when the child starts to grow up, I don't think that it is as effective anymore. They start to have faculties that require - explanation if you would. A \"rod\" won't do it. There needs to be an incorporation of reasoning and making consequences clear. Then from there probably move to rewards and reasoning to show how good choices result in good results. Just my two cents worth.

Yes agree. Spanking will only work for a while. As parents, we need to help our children see the point (e.g where are the boundaries, the dos and donts). Even my four year old behaves and remembers better when I reason out with him (than just spanking). When they finally understand, the \"rules\" will sink in better. All we need to do is to gentle nudge them a little when they forget. :imcool:

[Ichigokun]

@MrBig

But I think the earliest group with such thinking is Chinese. Confucius philosophies appeared 500 years before the bible.

Um… So yeah. Maybe different religious and race groups learnt from each other in the past so this punishing children thing came to "flourish"

[mummy so kiasu]

I had read from parenting articles & websites that "time out" is a more effective method than caning. It seem to me that caning is more commonly used by the Chinese & the practice seem to be pass down by our parents generation. Sometime doubt it effectiveness. Caning can be a two edges sword. If you do it too frequent, then it will not mean anything to the child (got used to it) or worse still become rebellious.

[Imami]

mummy so kiasu:

I had read from parenting articles & websites that \"time out\" is a more effective method than caning. It seem to me that caning is more commonly used by the Chinese & the practice seem to be pass down by our parents generation. Sometime doubt it effectiveness. Caning can be a two edges sword. If you do it too frequent, then it will not mean anything to the child (got used to it) or worse still become rebellious.

Time out doesn't work for my child leh.... Whenever I say,\"ok, you go and stand at the corner and think about it.\", my child would go all berserk as if I am abandoning him. Before he was three, he would cry and scream like someone was skinning him whenever I wanted to give him time out. After three, he would just hug my legs like hanging on his dear life, weep a little... :faint:

So time out doesn't work in my case. Looking sternly at him, then telling him what he did wrong and finally explaining why works better for me. I don't puke blood this way.

[puff]

For my 2 yrs old DD , I tried both time-out n caning ... This is wat happened when she took too long to finish her milk..

Me: Finish your milk now :mad:
Dd: no
Me: now go stand at the corner
Dd (crying n rolling on the floor): NOooooooo .... Noooooo
:mad: :mad: :mad:

After intro her to Mr Cane....
Me: finish your milk now
Dd: no
Me (put the cane on the table n stare at dd)
Dd ( finish her milk instantly)
:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

[Nebbermind]

Ichigokun:

@MrBig

But I think the earliest group with such thinking is Chinese. Confucius philosophies appeared 500 years before the bible.

Um... So yeah. Maybe different religious and race groups learnt from each other in the past so this punishing children thing came to \"flourish\"

If u r referring to the quoted proverbs verses, The bk of Proverbs supposed to date back to 950-700 BC according to Christian apologetics.

Jus sharing.

[Imami]

puff:

For my 2 yrs old DD , I tried both time-out n caning ... This is wat happened when she took too long to finish her milk..

Me: Finish your milk now :mad:
Dd: no
Me: now go stand at the corner
Dd (crying n rolling on the floor): NOooooooo .... Noooooo
:mad: :mad: :mad:

After intro her to Mr Cane....
Me: finish your milk now
Dd: no
Me (put the cane on the table n stare at dd)
Dd ( finish her milk instantly)
:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[MrsSeah]

puff:

For my 2 yrs old DD , I tried both time-out n caning ... This is wat happened when she took too long to finish her milk..

Me: Finish your milk now :mad:
Dd: no
Me: now go stand at the corner
Dd (crying n rolling on the floor): NOooooooo .... Noooooo
:mad: :mad: :mad:

After intro her to Mr Cane....
Me: finish your milk now
Dd: no
Me (put the cane on the table n stare at dd)
Dd ( finish her milk instantly)
:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

hahahahaha........ :evil: :evil: