Do you cane your daughters when they misbehave?

[mummy so kiasu]

I had read from parenting articles & websites that "time out" is a more effective method than caning. It seem to me that caning is more commonly used by the Chinese & the practice seem to be pass down by our parents generation. Sometime doubt it effectiveness. Caning can be a two edges sword. If you do it too frequent, then it will not mean anything to the child (got used to it) or worse still become rebellious.

[Imami]

mummy so kiasu:

I had read from parenting articles & websites that \"time out\" is a more effective method than caning. It seem to me that caning is more commonly used by the Chinese & the practice seem to be pass down by our parents generation. Sometime doubt it effectiveness. Caning can be a two edges sword. If you do it too frequent, then it will not mean anything to the child (got used to it) or worse still become rebellious.

Time out doesn't work for my child leh.... Whenever I say,\"ok, you go and stand at the corner and think about it.\", my child would go all berserk as if I am abandoning him. Before he was three, he would cry and scream like someone was skinning him whenever I wanted to give him time out. After three, he would just hug my legs like hanging on his dear life, weep a little... :faint:

So time out doesn't work in my case. Looking sternly at him, then telling him what he did wrong and finally explaining why works better for me. I don't puke blood this way.

[puff]

For my 2 yrs old DD , I tried both time-out n caning ... This is wat happened when she took too long to finish her milk..

Me: Finish your milk now :mad:
Dd: no
Me: now go stand at the corner
Dd (crying n rolling on the floor): NOooooooo .... Noooooo
:mad: :mad: :mad:

After intro her to Mr Cane....
Me: finish your milk now
Dd: no
Me (put the cane on the table n stare at dd)
Dd ( finish her milk instantly)
:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

[Nebbermind]

Ichigokun:

@MrBig

But I think the earliest group with such thinking is Chinese. Confucius philosophies appeared 500 years before the bible.

Um... So yeah. Maybe different religious and race groups learnt from each other in the past so this punishing children thing came to \"flourish\"

If u r referring to the quoted proverbs verses, The bk of Proverbs supposed to date back to 950-700 BC according to Christian apologetics.

Jus sharing.

[Imami]

puff:

For my 2 yrs old DD , I tried both time-out n caning ... This is wat happened when she took too long to finish her milk..

Me: Finish your milk now :mad:
Dd: no
Me: now go stand at the corner
Dd (crying n rolling on the floor): NOooooooo .... Noooooo
:mad: :mad: :mad:

After intro her to Mr Cane....
Me: finish your milk now
Dd: no
Me (put the cane on the table n stare at dd)
Dd ( finish her milk instantly)
:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

:rotflmao: :rotflmao:

[MrsSeah]

puff:

For my 2 yrs old DD , I tried both time-out n caning ... This is wat happened when she took too long to finish her milk..

Me: Finish your milk now :mad:
Dd: no
Me: now go stand at the corner
Dd (crying n rolling on the floor): NOooooooo .... Noooooo
:mad: :mad: :mad:

After intro her to Mr Cane....
Me: finish your milk now
Dd: no
Me (put the cane on the table n stare at dd)
Dd ( finish her milk instantly)
:rahrah: :rahrah: :rahrah:

hahahahaha........ :evil: :evil:

[micollh]

started using ruler and hand on her bckside and hand after she turn 4… some frens support as they did the same… some object as they said no beating on girl…but i feel this way works faster than explaining/talking… but not sure if will have side effect… haven read all the threads…

[Imami]

mummy of three:

Cane, spare the rod spoil the child.

I don't cane, or for this matter, I don't use any \"weapon\" at all.I just use my hand to smack. And i smack hard. Dont pray pray.

The reason I don't use \"weapon\" is because I am worried that I may lose control and hurt the child in the end. While the idea is that kids learn to comply faster/better when dealt with pain (from the smacking/caning), the children should not ended up being hurt.

I know how trying it is to have a stubborn/forgetful kid. I know how frustrating to have to repeat and repeat.... And yes, repeat. The is a tendency to vent the frustration onto the child when one is angry, over and aboe what is necessary. When one is angry, the strength exerted thru the cane may be too much for the child.

When I use my hand to smack my child, I feel the corresponding pain that he feels. This way, I know how hard is hard (on him).

Hence, I have never used a cane on my child. He is probably one of the few who doesn't know the power of Mr Cane. B

[Imami]

When smacking/caning is meted out, the parent should also drive the point across (what the child did to warrant a whacking session). The pain should serve as an indication of the seriousness (of the mistake) but it should not replace the explanation part. And no, smacking and shouting at the same time is of no use.

[mummy so kiasu]

Imami:

mummy so kiasu:

I had read from parenting articles & websites that \"time out\" is a more effective method than caning. It seem to me that caning is more commonly used by the Chinese & the practice seem to be pass down by our parents generation. Sometime doubt it effectiveness. Caning can be a two edges sword. If you do it too frequent, then it will not mean anything to the child (got used to it) or worse still become rebellious.

Time out doesn't work for my child leh.... Whenever I say,\"ok, you go and stand at the corner and think about it.\", my child would go all berserk as if I am abandoning him. Before he was three, he would cry and scream like someone was skinning him whenever I wanted to give him time out. After three, he would just hug my legs like hanging on his dear life, weep a little... :faint:

So time out doesn't work in my case. Looking sternly at him, then telling
him what he did wrong and finally explaining why works better for me. I don't puke blood this way.

Maybe different type of method works on different kids. We need to find out which method works better for us. Whereas for your case is reasoning out with him.