In-law problems?

[mummy so kiasu]

pinky:

fifiyeo:

Anyone out there with in-laws pressure as far as kids' exam results are concerned?

My DS will be condemned if he doesn't do well.

my husband has 11 other siblings and they tend to compare exam results all the time. The worse are his sisters who always ask me 'so how many As did your son score this time?'. Still remember the SMS they sent when the PSLE results were released. My son was still at home but they already asking me how many points he scored??? :slapshead:

Sound very stressful to both kids & parents. It is very unhealthy to compare your kid's performance with others as all kids have different abilities. Parents should give encouragement regardless how small is the improvement & the kids will do better.

[janet88]

pinky:

fifiyeo:

Anyone out there with in-laws pressure as far as kids' exam results are concerned?

My DS will be condemned if he doesn't do well.

my husband has 11 other siblings and they tend to compare exam results all the time. The worse are his sisters who always ask me 'so how many As did your son score this time?'. Still remember the SMS they sent when the PSLE results were released. My son was still at home but they already asking me how many points he scored??? :slapshead:

:nailbite: just thinking of the comparisons during my time. I hate that feeling because I have a cousin of the same age and her mother compared everything from young :slapshead: damn sickening.
Fortunately my kids only have one cousin.

[pinky]

I hate the comparisons so I always remind my son that he has only himself to compete - making sure that he made efforts to do better than the previous tests/exam.

My husband is the one who get all stressed up especially if my son does better than some of his nephews/nieces and he will go around consoling everyone of them which I find rather :siao: . but if my son performs worse than them he goes :stompfeet: really :slapshead:

[fifiyeo]

Best part is DS does not have any cousins to compare with as they are all younger. It’s my ILs who wants to have bragging rights and show off to their peers. Sick right? They are actually expecting 250+ and above. They said it out loud to DH many times already and must go for TOP schools. So you think stress or not and my DS is not that level. So do you think we will all be condemned? The answer is YES!


They are the type that looks up to people with material weath and big degrees. If you don’t have either you are an idiot.

[janet88]

fifiyeo:

Best part is DS does not have any cousins to compare with as they are all younger. It's my ILs who wants to have bragging rights and show off to their peers. Sick right? They are actually expecting 250+ and above. They said it out loud to DH many times already and must go for TOP schools. So you think stress or not and my DS is not that level. So do you think we will all be condemned? The answer is YES!

My son's only cousin is in Sec 1. Since they know nuts, even if tell them what schools their grandchildren attend is useless. Expecting 250 is stressful...I can imagine your frustration. My son is not even 230 after the prelims.
Attending top school up is just for them to show off.

[fifiyeo]

janet_lee88:

fifiyeo:

Best part is DS does not have any cousins to compare with as they are all younger. It's my ILs who wants to have bragging rights and show off to their peers. Sick right? They are actually expecting 250+ and above. They said it out loud to DH many times already and must go for TOP schools. So you think stress or not and my DS is not that level. So do you think we will all be condemned? The answer is YES!

My son's only cousin is in Sec 1. Since they know nuts, even if tell them what schools their grandchildren attend is useless. Expecting 250 is stressful...I can imagine your frustration. My son is not even 230 after the prelims.
Attending top school up is just for them to show off.

Precisely. They are show off king and queen. Not even 250...it's at least 250+ !

[janet88]

Hi fifi,

They are not the least concerned about the grandchild…just their face value.
PSLE is getting tougher every year. I pity my son…preparation for this crazy marathon is driving me nuts…but after 9 months, we cannot afford to let go…so have to strike a balance and not burn both ends or the kid will have mental block.

Do those showy grand parents know how tough it is…nope, definitely not.
Kids now are so stressed…if we push too much, they will melt down.

[Pinky Piglet]

Hi Janet


My mil will never encourage my kids vice versa she did that to her daughter Chn. Her attitude change 360 degree when she talk
to my sil chn. She tends to use very crude words on my kids which I reall hate!

[fifiyeo]

janet_lee88:

Hi fifi,

They are not the least concerned about the grandchild....just their face value.
PSLE is getting tougher every year. I pity my son...preparation for this crazy marathon is driving me nuts...but after 9 months, we cannot afford to let go...so have to strike a balance and not burn both ends or the kid will have mental block.

Do those showy grand parents know how tough it is...nope, definitely not.
Kids now are so stressed...if we push too much, they will melt down.

Yes, PSLE is tough. We're both stuck and trapped there for the past 9 mths exchanging notes and complains on the other forum. Actually the whole thing started in P5.

You know the best part is the showy ILs didn't even do well in school. They claim that they love us blah, blah, blah and I feel really sick when I hear it. The truth is their face value is NO.1 piority! We are the shameful people. They even said that straight into the face of DH.

[Pinky Piglet]

Hi


I always like to quote this in hokkien
女儿是自己的，媳妇是別人的