Need an advice on office relationship matters

[valvestate]

I'm reluctant to post this but this has been bothering me for some days now and I would really appreciate it if you will take it easy on me, I guess I just need to vent out some matters that has been affecting me for some sleepless nights...


I work in multi national firm and was recently promoted as a Senior Lead that has the role to manage at least 20 people. Just barely a month ago, our company hired a new lady for our daily support. She's from PRC but has a wide background of language spoken which in some ways got me interested. She's smart but not that really pretty, slim, looks like Korean-Chinese and very composed, professional. As a lead, I need to support her to handle our clients and I was beginning to get drawn to her... I invited her for lunch for one time and it has started almost everyday since she also invites me even if I don't ask her... she's just sweet and talks very calmly, I feel so great whenever I'm with her. We talk about anything under the sun and I started randomly sending her some SMS in which she also responds sweetly. One of our lady personnel who's also a friend with this woman I'm referring to, told me that she always praise me because of I support her in our daily work ... yada yada..

Now, I can't stop thinking about her and looking at her FB pics. I just can't stop myself looking at her when I have some time in our office since she's just a few meters away from me... the problem is that I already have a wife and a kid There's actually no major issues between me and my wife aside that whenever we have a big quarrel, we don't really talk about how to resolve it and it will just fade away... we just talk it over sex and it will be ok again. Wifey also likes to boss over me... which I don't like since I'm the manager in our office for pete's sake! It affects my manhood and being the man of the house!

I'm thinking of just quitting the job since the temptation is really unbearable... this PRC lady's just living alone here in SG and with no BF and ..... I dunno.......... It's quite hard to get a job nowadays with the salary I will be expecting and my position. :sad: I dunno if she's just too kind with me because I'm her superior and what not...

[Joule]

hot damn! brother, are you Singaporean? did you somehow eat her nasi kangkang?


you know, there’s a saying

we cannot prevent birds from flying over our heads, but we can prevent them from making nests in our hair

what about that old saying

flee from temptation?


buddy.

1) no more personal lunches.

2) no more smses except professional ones

3) no more facebook. can you imagine if your boss or subordinates finds out?

by the way, I’m writing a fiction of a man something like you. see the forum.

[valvestate]

Joule:

hot damn! brother, are you Singaporean? did you somehow eat her nasi kangkang?

HAHA :evil: Nah! We always eat in a local food court, I dunno if she steamed herself with one of the rice I was eating! Oh man, that's quite yucky man, just the thought of how a lady is doing it. LOL.

Joule:

flee from temptation?

Yeah, thinking of just shoo her away when she asks me again but I just feel pity that she's eating alone you know... and we don't talk about any nasty things and still keeping our conversation with a friendly yet professional attitude. Still... can't stop fantasizing her. :oops:

Joule:

1) no more personal lunches.
2) no more smses except professional ones
3) no more facebook. can you imagine if your boss or subordinates finds out?

by the way, I'm writing a fiction of a man something like you. see the forum.

yeah... thanks, still trying to control myself. It's another 2 hours before lunch time. We'll see how ah....

Oh... I was actually reading your fiction story before I posted here. I'm still awaiting for the continuation.

[Joule]

[quote]

HAHA Nah! We always eat in a local food court, I dunno if she steamed herself with one of the rice I was eating! Oh man, that's quite yucky man, just the thought of how a lady is doing it. LOL.[/quote]tar pow claypot rice and er.....bring toilet....
[quote]Yeah, thinking of just shoo her away when she asks me again but I just feel pity that she's eating alone you know... and we don't talk about any nasty things and still keeping our conversation with a friendly yet professional attitude. Still... can't stop fantasizing her. [/quote]friendly and professional is ok. but you know you're getting on the wrong highway when you're flirting

ok ok from this it seems like it is infatuation or a crush... it's a teenage thing. unusual to have it in 30s but hey it still happens

however you really have to take care around here because you are the 'boss' and she is staying 'alone'...which places both of you in a vulnerable position

if what you are doing is at this 'limit' then keep it there or shift the limits to a safer zone.

some behavior modification would be needed. does she outright come to ask you for lunch?

then it would be time to take evasive maneuvers....or find safety in numbers...or mention more of your wife and kid around her. Show her pictures. If she's 'not safe', you should be able to find a little facial twitch or slightest hint of a frown....

[mamago]

星星之火 可以燎原.


请三思…

[Joule]

mamago:

星星之火 可以燎原.


请三思....

translation: a small spark can lead to a blazing conflagration

please think thrice!

[KSP]

valvestate:

yeah... thanks, still trying to control myself. It's another 2 hours before lunch time. We'll see how ah....

sms your wife now and make lunch appt her today and next 2 weeks.....

if u still go lunch with the prc today then u are a GONER!!!!

[Joule]

I wonder why it is always PRC though.

[mamago]

Joule:

I wonder why it is always PRC though.

Your fiction's character also falls for a PRC?... (cham!)

Btw, when is your next installment coming up....

(It used to be the Taiwanese, now the Adam/s taste change... )

[KSP]

Joule:

I wonder why it is always PRC though.

1. gov open the door for them
2. speak same language, same culture and same asian
3. they understand want asian men want.....