Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?

[sleepy]

Mychildren:

Its a sad story so I always advise people not to drag the pak tou so long, quickly settled down if u have find your Mr & Mrs Right.

6 months to 1.5 years of exclusively dating each other is the best time to get married. When the fire is still burning .. :evil:

[sleepy]

indigoblue:

What if hubby is one who complains when house is messy, when creepy crawlies invade the kitchen at night ,when kids grades slide a little...and yet still expect to be able to come home daily to a perfumed ,purring kitten that clings to him and sayang him? Give me a break!

Ask him to do his share of house chores too.

Then wife would have time to go gym to keep nicely toned and fit for his beneifit & also time to trim eye brow and put whitening face masks regularly

[sleepy]

3Boys:

So, all the DWs out there, don't become your hubby's caregiver......become your hubby's lover. Keep the spark and passion alive, don't let housework or kids become an excuse, ever!

I think having common hobbies or doing activites together will strengthen the bond. Of course this is only possible when kids are slightly older, not when they're toddlers. I think the lowest point in most marriages is when they have infants or preschool kids. I've been through those phrases too, really frustrating to be stuck in that situation but really there isn't much we can do without external help.

Now that our kids are older & more independent, hubby & I can afford the time to go on date night to watch movies and eat supper (gosh, bad for my weight). I've a gym membership while he doesn't. He runs long distance but I can't even manage 200m. So we make it a point to sign up for the same exercising classes to burn fats together on weekends. We're also thinking of signing up for line dancing next year, should be fun

[verykiasumummy]

the world outside is full of temptations, if our men cant endure it, then just be it…


most impt is to find a man that can endure those temptations… if all those flirtatious girls are clinging on him and he allows, this just shows how tempted he is…

i’m a singaporean wife and independent, i will not allow or tolerate that…

[verykiasumummy]

not to say that all wifes dun hv to change themselves and continue to ignore their men… but even if wife is pretty and intelligent and sexy and no problems at home, that doesnt mean men wun go out n be tempted when the chance is there…

[straffan23]

3boys: I totally can identify with "don’t be your husband’s mother" part. In fact, a friend of mine gave me a lecture on this topic. He explained how a man’s instinct is "to be mothered" and how a women’s instinct is "to mother". I still recall how he gave me an example that when I change my own towel, my instinct would be to change my hubby’s towel, too. Unfortunately, this will be a thankless task; some barely notices that the towels were changed!


So, after marriage, I did notice things like how I’d think the floor should be mopped weekly, but every other week was good enough for my husband. I feel that shirts, pants and dresses should be ironed - my husband prefers the wrinkle-free shirts (and who would notice his pants, anyway). So, I trained myself to not use my own standards as the yardstick - else I would be his mother (or maid!). I did threw out his old towels, though!

[sleepy]

verykiasumummy:

but even if wife is pretty and intelligent and sexy and no problems at home, that doesnt mean men wun go out n be tempted when the chance is there...

That's true too

Lower probability only

[3Boys]

Hi ladies,

good debate. I am of course, being slightly hyperbolic. But it is a pragmatic approach to long term happiness, in my view. Will it work in all cases? Clearly not, but I do believe it tips the odds in your favour.

I understand that it will be difficult for some to swallow. "Why must I even TRY to hang on to my husband, aren’t we MARRIED already for heaven’s sake!"

Yes, it is true, wedding vows are sacred. But one must remember, being faithful is just one part of wedding vows (at least in the Christian tradition), but the one that is most emphasised. There is love and respect, to hold and to cherish, to obey. These are key components too. When was the last time you told your spouse you cherished him/her?

It is a big commitment, which is why some people are very skittish about getting married.

A marriage starts at the wedding altar, it does not end there. After the wedding, the real work starts, to ensure that your spouse is HAPPY in the marriage. This is the responsibility of both parties, to ensure the HAPPINESS of their spouse in the marriage. And if it means taking a less prideful stance on certain matters, being submissive on certain matters (and I am referring to both men and women), I think it is a very small price to pay.

Otherwise the wedding band can become just another chain, and some parties (men AND women) will at some point choose not to chained.

I am happy in my marriage. When I see a pretty girl walk by, I may give her an admiring look, but only because she reminds me of my DW. My DW doesn’t mind, I give that passing girl that look, and then I give DW that same look.

Try that on your hubby, an appreciative look, see if it doesn’t do wonders.

[BeContented]

sleepy:

Mychildren:

Its a sad story so I always advise people not to drag the pak tou so long, quickly settled down if u have find your Mr & Mrs Right.

6 months to 1.5 years of exclusively dating each other is the best time to get married. When the fire is still burning .. :evil:

Haha. No wonder I was tempted a few times. Later am going over to scold 'valvestate' & see if can wake him up.

Pot scolding kettle. :lightrod: :rotflmao:

[MMM]

verykiasumummy:

not to say that all wifes dun hv to change themselves and continue to ignore their men... but even if wife is pretty and intelligent and sexy and no problems at home, that doesnt mean men wun go out n be tempted when the chance is there...

Yes... ever read this article before that one man had a very beautiful and sexy wife however, he still thinks of EMA and also with women who were not as attractive as his wife... So they are saying that EMA is not because of the woman but rather the man (as in his mindset). You can be the most beautiful woman on earth but if your dh has the EMA mindset, he will still cheat.