Spouse or Kids? Which comes first?

[mdmlow]

spouse

[mummyv]

fightingmom:

mummyv:

Just yesterday DD told me when we were on the way home she was glad we still have a complete family unit. Most of her classmates parents are either divorced, in the process having cold war and arguing constantly. Her ex school principal during a casual conversation also told us that divorced families are most likely 40% of the school population...

how old is your dd , mummyv? :love:

fightingmom P5
mawar and verykiasumummy - I was shocked at the percentage. I even asked the Principal sure a not? Upon reflection am not sure if P sees more problem students and so his comments are skewed... but DD rough count among her gal frens, it is the case. Perhaps it's a more permissive / self absorbed society now.

[BeContented]

mummyv:

mummyv:

Just yesterday DD told me when we were on the way home she was glad we still have a complete family unit. Most of her classmates parents are either divorced, in the process having cold war and arguing constantly. Her ex school principal during a casual conversation also told us that divorced families are most likely 40% of the school population...

fightingmom P5
mawar and verykiasumummy - I was shocked at the percentage. I even asked the Principal sure a not? Upon reflection am not sure if P sees more problem students and so his comments are skewed... but DD rough count among her gal frens, it is the case. Perhaps it's a more permissive / self absorbed society now.

I have 1 weird theory to offer.
Last time, people talk louder & dun really have this notion about dun argue in front of kids in case affect their emotional well-being. So kids used to that. Just like MIL who uses very harsh voice to speak & my kids used to ask me why she's scolding people.

These days we tend not to raise our voice unnecessarily, avoid arguing in front of kids etc.....so kids will see it as something unusual/serious. But I must agree, divorce rate is certainly higher.

[straffan23]

Spouse or children, just make sure we are not like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEFXj00Gou4

[verykiasumummy]

straffan23:

Spouse or children, just make sure we are not like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEFXj00Gou4

this is such a funny song...

so true...

thks for sharing...

[ruohoo97]

3Boys:

A bit like asking whether food or water is more important. Reading through a different thread, really sent a shudder down my spine. God forbid that I fail so badly in my marriage that we should seek a separation.


DW and I have vowed that no matter how KSParents we be, we will always set aside fixed time for each other every week. Go out for dinner, watch a movie, romance each other and have 'together' time very regularly. In the busyness of work and child-minding, its all too easy to take each other for granted, and then slowly drift apart. If the bond is strong and there is intimacy, many obstacles can be overcome.

My posit is that a strong marriage begets a strong family, and if there were a conflict between spouse-time and kid-time, spouse time usually comes out ahead.

Your thoughts?

Why didn't I see this earlier? In my head, I say spouse first, in my heart, I say children first, at least when they are young.

My DH has asked the same question. I thought he was very demanding till I saw this post. kekekee.

[buds]

So tonight you shall tell him that he's not at all demanding and that you will romance him.

[ruohoo97]

buds:

So tonight you shall tell him that he's not at all demanding and that you will romance him.

But he is overseas. :imanangel:

[3Boys]

mdmlow:

spouse

Like!

[3Boys]

indigoblue:

3Boys:

So, all the DWs out there, don't become your hubby's caregiver......become your hubby's lover. Keep the spark and passion alive, don't let housework or kids become an excuse, ever!

Dear 3boys
...this is easier said thn done.
What if hubby is one who complains when house is messy, when creepy crawlies invade the kitchen at night ,when kids grades slide a little...and yet still expect to be able to come home daily to a perfumed ,purring kitten that clings to him and sayang him? Give me a break!

Indigo blue, you have a PM