self-exploring act by preschooler

[micollh]

caught my 5 yo doing masturbating-act in bed at night… with both hands at private parts and moving up and down… i was shock and upset. scolded her and tell her this is shameful ! talk to her teacher and read online. this seems normal for this age as part of how they discovered that their body and found the sensation pleasurable with certain movement…but i still feel weird over this…anyone can share ?

[ectanz]

micollh:

caught my 5 yo doing masturbating-act in bed at night.. with both hands at private parts and moving up and down.. i was shock and upset. scolded her and tell her this is shameful ! talk to her teacher and read online. this seems normal for this age as part of how they discovered that their body and found the sensation pleasurable with certain movement..but i still feel weird over this..anyone can share ?

Hi micollh, my 7yo dd did that when she was around 4 yo. She didn't use her hand but her sitting position (moving to and fro) showed that she was rubbing on the floor. This was getting worse and she did in her CCC. Her teacher spotted her weird behavior and hightlighted to me. At first, I was like you very upset and disappointed why she had to do that and it was very unsightly. I scolded her and punished her whenever I caught her doing that action again. Like you, I search the similar problem in the website and found out that I was not alone. The only way to get her out of this bad habit was to keep her occupy so that she won't do it when she was too preoccupied by other things. Slowly I didn't see her do it until recently. She used her blanket to rub against her private part. I didn't scolded as she is now 7 yo. She cried when I questioned her but didn't scold her. She admitted and claimed that she felt itch in her private part. I cleaned it for her and talked to her nicely that it was very unsightly thing to do and i threatened her that i will need to bring her to consult doctor if her problem still persist. In the end, she promised that she will not do it again :xedfingers:

[micollh]

ectanz,


in the websites, it seems to suggest that we should not prevent them from doing it, so long it's privately, meaning bedtime.. or bathroom.. see this link:

http://www.drgreene.com/qa/masturbation-young-children

i ask school teacher, as she was caught doing the same thing in CC during nap time, but teacher approach is very calm and not over reacting like me..they said they will just tell her to put her hands by the side of her body and ask her to sleep. and teach her about hygiene and if itchy, need to clean up properly. that's all.

Maybe this is the right approach.. cos masturbate is not a wrong act.. i guess.. but our perception of this act for this age .. simply need time to digest.. i plan to get her to sleep in her own room.. now i have doubts.. maybe i should monitor her and reduce her frequency of repeating this act.. she usually do it when she knows no one around.. but knowing that a 5 yo.. she din know we will sneak up to see what is she doing in the room so long..

sigh..

[ectanz]

micollh:

ectanz,


in the websites, it seems to suggest that we should not prevent them from doing it, so long it's privately, meaning bedtime.. or bathroom.. see this link:

http://www.drgreene.com/qa/masturbation-young-children

i ask school teacher, as she was caught doing the same thing in CC during nap time, but teacher approach is very calm and not over reacting like me..they said they will just tell her to put her hands by the side of her body and ask her to sleep. and teach her about hygiene and if itchy, need to clean up properly. that's all.

Maybe this is the right approach.. cos masturbate is not a wrong act.. i guess.. but our perception of this act for this age .. simply need time to digest.. i plan to get her to sleep in her own room.. now i have doubts.. maybe i should monitor her and reduce her frequency of repeating this act.. she usually do it when she knows no one around.. but knowing that a 5 yo.. she din know we will sneak up to see what is she doing in the room so long..

sigh..

Agreed. We can't prevent them as they are unconsciously doing this act. Initially, she did it when she was at home in sitting position while watching TV. Then she began to do it at my MIL's place which my MIL told me about her weird action. Then she did it more frequently even during lesson in CCC or enrichment classes. I noticed that she will unconsciously did it in sitting on the floor. Therefore I tried not to let her sleep by herself and been watching her closely. Most importantly, i believe they will gradually get rid of this bad habit when they grow up. Keep them occupy with activities till they are too tired of doing that action.

[pingsped]

My girl ‘groped’ her genital area lately too.


I found out that a boy from her class likes to strip himself, squeeze & poke things at his genitals. He also tries to touch other children’s bodies.

My girl was enrolled in this childcare for about a month.

While kids do explore their bodies & imitate each other, I believe the teacher was negligent in monitoring the kids - not spotting or correcting behaviour consistently and allowing kids to play in that manner persistently.

I used to teach a child with autism who rubbed her genital area persistently too. The first thing I do is to rule out sexual abuse. In this case, there was no medical issue too. She was sensitive to touch; the act of urination led to touching & rubbing. We got her to hold soft toy when watching tv. whenever she touched herself, we would put a tactile toy in her hands. We dont say "dont touch xxxx" which reinforces the awareness. Gradually she stopped touching.

Usually, such behaviour will fade within 1-2 month which is why some ‘experts’ advise to let the children be.

If you are concerned, try to replace with other tactile activities & do more fun sports/games. Saying 'don’t" doesn’t work for some kids as they may just hide it from parents.

In my girl’s case, it went away after we ‘removed the source’ or exposure by withdrawing from the childcare. There were many issues with the centre.

[purple05]

My gal is P4 this yr, recently I noticed a couple of times she tend to sweat a lot when she’s alone, watching tv or in the room before bedtime. I think I saw her rubbing her 2 legs when she is lying on the bed… Is this masturbation? Or am I thinking too much? But I just find it weird

And I’m abit worried, is this normal? how can I stop her from doing this act?
I did ask her why she sweat so much even in aircon room, she just say she’s hot. She deny rubbing her legs …
Any advice?

[augustbb]

Hi i’m newbie here. i noticed that above mentioned cases are all girls, any boy’s parents encountered same problem?

Recently, i noticed my 3 n half yo boy did similar thing.
On weekend morning, once he wakes up, he’ll use his private part to rub my head, initially i thot he was just playing with me and trying to wake me up, so i told him mummy doesn’t like his action… well, mayb i didn’t state clearly enough, he stoped rubbing my head, instead, he started doing same thing but to my feet! When i woke up by his movement, i was so shock! i asked him nicely he did so if becoz he felt itchy? but he just kept quiet, oh no! i feel something is wrong. As sometimes he scratchs his private part and when i ask him, he always answer me that’s becoz it’s itchy. He’s still a toddler in diaper at night time, i can’t believe such young kid can also feel this kind of comfort like adults in the past, seems i was wrong.
Any boy’s parent can share experience here? For me, i just simply stop him and use other things to attract his attention. Hopefully he will stop doing so after a while.

[cherrygal]

If itch is the cause, resolve this before trying to make it into a behavioural issue. Genitals can get itchy when not washed properly or when the area is sensitive to the type of underwear or diaper used. Boys or girls can sit in a tub of lukewarm water (just covering the genitals), mixed with a few drops of potassium permanganate solution (in Guardian, they call this the wound disinfectant solution). This purple solution helps to disinfect and reduces itching of the genitals. Very effective.