Extra Marital Affair
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blurqueen:
Definitely not blur IMO ... Level headed and wise :celebrate: -
Hi blurqueen,
Agree with Andaiz and Zack .... you are not blur, but v CLEAR
Thx for sharing. -
tankee:
we should all remember that we have promised to love and cherish our spouse, and to death till us part.
Well... people being people, people tend to forget.
And frankly not even close to death yet.. still alive and kicking..
And yet..... people forget. :roll: And then the typical excuse of
transgressions come in... again...
tankee:
Temptations are everywhere... the spanking neu colleague at work whoseThus we should never ever allow ourselves to be near any situation that we could be tempted, let alone commit an adultery.
helpless, pitiful, and gee... happen to be pretty hawt too... :roll: The boss
who is so powerful hunky and single... The occasional drinks out at the
club... The moment of drunkard-ness and the issue with the spouse which
leads to momentary temptations... Social networking... Escort agencies...
Pornography... Swingers... :roll:
It's hard not to be near any situations. Hence the temptation to commit
adultery seems too easy.
The phrase \"see no touch\" is no longer impossible. It's just too easy.tankee:
Even our spouse would to forgive us for our \"mistake\", how could we forgive ourselves for the hurt that we had caused?
Forgive? Hmmm... :idea:
Forget? No way.
Most of the time the party that has to forgive and forget,
simply moves on. Not so much forgive and forget. I mean,
get real lar..... how to, right? Life wud never be the same agn.
The stabbing pangs will stay no matter what. It's whether we work
it out good till the next transgression sets in (God forbid!) or it just
goes with the flow day in and day out..... till death do couples part.
I find if a so-called moment of folly or follies can happen once or
more.... :roll: to the point of being found out.... the itch of those
saucy moments will find its way to creep back in...
Tho' the blurred memory of the past still exist no matter what, we
cannot allow ourselves to wallow in the past to move forward. All
we can do is learn from the lesson and rise up stronger.
Blurqueen, you have my respect for wanting to keep it going. Though
it is definitely possible to work things out, the process of getting there
is hell rough. And the self esteem gets kinda burnt out and takes time
to toughen up. U are your own person. U decide how you want your
life to be and work on it. U blurqueen have considered, provided the
opportunities of too many a second chances... and finally u have
decided... I dun think you're blur. You're the queen. :salute:
Checkmate. -
buds:
Well said, Buds ....
Blurqueen, you have my respect for wanting to keep it going. Though
it is definitely possible to work things out, the process of getting there
is hell rough. And the self esteem gets kinda burnt out and takes time
to toughen up. U are your own person. U decide how you want your
life to be and work on it. U blurqueen have considered, provided the
opportunities of too many a second chances... and finally u have
decided... I dun think you're blur. You're the queen. :salute:
Checkmate.
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haiz... I think I'm the blur one..... maybe I didn't read all the postings carefully .... I paiseh to ask.... but can someone please enlighten me... how do you *know* if your DH has strayed? :oops:
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I noticed that when DH has strayed, most of the DW will forgive them. But if it is DW who has strayed, most DH will not forgive their DW.
Why? -
Gosh :oops: I'm really not so cool type la. haha. I guess everyone has certain strengths that will only appear in times of hardship.
Childhood abuse, molestation, broken family (parents), recurrent miscarriages, career loss, special need kid . . . everything simply adds up and made me stronger each time but sometimes, the hardness shows through. So when my hubby strayed, I was only concerned about the future which I believe can only get better if I tried hard enough.
In my case, I \"confirmed\" my hub strayed despite months of suspicion when I sat and eavesdrop when he called her at 1am. I listened in for 30mins until I got sick and tired of listening to the same thing ... he was asking \"baobei/darling, what rights do I not have to know why you're angry with me?\" -
blurqueen:
Gosh :oops: I'm really not so cool type la. haha. I guess everyone has certain strengths that will only appear in times of hardship.
I agree. :celebrate:
While some women may become more withdrawn... lose self-esteem &
confidence... cry endlessly going over the whys and the what the's...
women like yourself CAN find the strength in times of adversity.
Cool or not cool dearie..... not everyone can find strength like you did.
Yup, though the history of your childhood to date did help toughen up
your character, it can never be the same as the betrayal of a husband.
Who in the first place like tankee said, promise to love, to treasure and
to cherish..... only in thee end still crush your heart to pieces with his
selfish acts of lust and lies. An aunt once said at her husband's funeral,
\"I've lost so many close ones in my life; from my own parents to relatives
but all that feeling of loss that i had felt then would never be the same
as losing one's husband which i am feeling now...\" Her story though was
of a couple who were very much in love till death separated them recently.
They were married for more than 50 over years with the usual couple
banter and laughter she said..... and it made her marriage all the more
interesting and colourful. The husband departed at age more than 80yrs
old. Why more than? Cos last time old people got their ICs when they
were much much older... some teens some 20+ yrs old... so the +++
are for the unrecorded extra years. :lol:blurqueen:
I feel sick and have some vomit in throat when reading your last part.Childhood abuse, molestation, broken family (parents), recurrent miscarriages, career loss, special need kid . . . everything simply adds up and made me stronger each time but sometimes, the hardness shows through. So when my hubby strayed, I was only concerned about the future which I believe can only get better if I tried hard enough.
In my case, I \"confirmed\" my hub strayed despite months of suspicion when I sat and eavesdrop when he called her at 1am. I listened in for 30mins until I got sick and tired of listening to the same thing ... he was asking \"baobei/darling, what rights do I not have to know why you're angry with me?\"
Sorry hor. I wonder how you stomach that, girl... :hugs: I recently read
in a magazine that a DW uncovered 26 videos of her DH and another
girl fit to be his daughter having lustful sex. Her DH used the video
camera that was her present for his birthday. Only the initial videos
were of her little son... the rest were of the shameless pair frolicking
with one another apparently in a hotel room or some sort. And while
she thought it wud be only one or two playbacks of the distasteful
videos, she had to watch a whole 26 episodes of them. I read the
article and cried for her. Her husband gave her some disease which
was thankfully curable. She forgave her husband after a couple of
months moving on with the support of her family and loads of close
friends. That again my fellow mates is yet another person of profound
strength... I pray her life is better now and that she is happy. It is not
easy for her definitely to have her husband tell her straight to her face
that he did not love her when she was preggie with their 2nd child......
I remember she mentioned, \"What do you mean you don't love me...
(crying).... I'm having our baby.....\"
Transgression?
Transgression my foot.
(Some) men and their lame excuses. -
kiasimom:
It's called double standard. :roll:I noticed that when DH has strayed, most of the DW will forgive them. But if it is DW who has strayed, most DH will not forgive their DW.
Why? -
Maybe we, women are more forgiving.
My dad once said, : Women are like cups, can only be stirred with a stirrer, men are like stirrer, can stir many cups!"
When men strayed, they think it is normal and they are charming, if women strayed they call you cheap and easy!! :x
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