PSLE leave: For or Against?
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dasalo:
:goodpost:
IMO, it should not be the problem of the parents. It is the kid that is taking their PSLE and not parents. Neither me nor my dh take any leave when my gals had their PSLE. They are supposed to be prepared by then.
Another important fact is PSLE is not a conclusive or a good gauge to a child's ability in the future.
I agree, but we are a minority on this forum
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Dnls_mum:
Yes, I agree that DC should have been prepared by then. But have been mentioned many times, it is not necessarily to push DC to study hard. But to provide moral support and help them to be as relaxed as possible. I took leave during the whole PSLE exam period but I need not push my DS to study or to slog. I pick him up immediately after the exam and send him home promptly so that he can have more time to rest and be prepared for the next paper.
:goodpost:dasalo:
IMO, it should not be the problem of the parents. It is the kid that is taking their PSLE and not parents. Neither me nor my dh take any leave when my gals had their PSLE. They are supposed to be prepared by then.
Another important fact is PSLE is not a conclusive or a good gauge to a child's ability in the future.
I agree, but we are a minority on this forum -
kwcllf:
Yes, I agree that DC should have been prepared by then. But have been mentioned many times, it is not necessarily to push DC to study hard. But to provide moral support and help them to be as relaxed as possible. I took leave during the whole PSLE exam period but I need not push my DS to study or to slog. I pick him up immediately after the exam and send him home promptly so that he can have more time to rest and be prepared for the next paper.
Sometimes I wonder if we the parents take leave, the child will feel more stress as they will think \"Oh..dear, my parents are on my back now!\"
I rather let it be as normal as possible. Then again, every child is different. :xedfingers: :please: -
dasalo:
Your comment reminds me of a friend. She was a working mother all her life. She multi-tasked very well, had 4 kids and hold a very senior position in a European Investment bank. The type that has a car and driver provided by the bank. The bank went through some problems and had to down size. She happily took the package (which was really good), and decided to take a break to spend time with her kids. She had always had a wonderful relationship with her kids, so imagine the shock she had that after a few weeks, her kids asked her when she is going back to work!! They want her to go back to work :rotflmao: her constant presence actually stressed them so much! :rotflmao:
Sometimes I wonder if we the parents take leave, the child will feel more stress as they will think \"Oh..dear, my parents are on my back now!\"
I rather let it be as normal as possible. Then again, every child is different. :xedfingers: :please:
Sometimes, what we think our kids want, is not necessarily what they really want :). Sometimes it is what we want and we use our kids to justify our actions :evil: -
Wow! Didn’t know that our presence could stress the kids. I always think my gal would love to have me in the Hse, at least that’s what I thought. Maybe I will go ask her…
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Dnls_mum:
Don't deny there may be such cases. But we shouldn't take it as the norm.
Your comment reminds me of a friend. She was a working mother all her life. She multi-tasked very well, had 4 kids and hold a very senior position in a European Investment bank. The type that has a car and driver provided by the bank. The bank went through some problems and had to down size. She happily took the package (which was really good), and decided to take a break to spend time with her kids. She had always had a wonderful relationship with her kids, so imagine the shock she had that after a few weeks, her kids asked her when she is going back to work!! They want her to go back to work :rotflmao: her constant presence actually stressed them so much! :rotflmao:dasalo:
Sometimes I wonder if we the parents take leave, the child will feel more stress as they will think \"Oh..dear, my parents are on my back now!\"
I rather let it be as normal as possible. Then again, every child is different. :xedfingers: :please:
Sometimes, what we think our kids want, is not necessarily what they really want :). Sometimes it is what we want and we use our kids to justify our actions :evil: -
peapot:
Wow! Didn't know that our presence could stress the kids. I always think my gal would love to have me in the Hse, at least that's what I thought. Maybe I will go ask her....
It depends on the parents. We can give them encouragement & guidance, without giving them stress. We can set realistic & attainable target, base on our kid's ability. All kids have different abilities. We should avoid comparing our kids' performance with others or might end up giving stress to ourselves & our kids. -
Families are all different mah… Kids are all different too. My kids wouldn’t let me go back to work. SAHMs may not make the best mothers. That does not mean working moms are better Moms. Those who take PSLE leave may or may not stress their kids. Who is to say whether the minority view make better mothers or the majority view make better mothers?
It could well be that the minority of mothers who diss PSLE leave are really better mothers in the same way that 1 % of each student cohort are viewed as better students. That’s fine too. Whether I am a best, better or good mother or not, I am the only mother my kids have and I try my best. So who is to say that my decision to take or not to take PSLE leave is good or bad. We’re different. All of us. I would never intimate that working moms abandon their kids. Why would working moms suspect that those who stay home, take leave blah blah automatically means we stress ours? Are working moms superior to sahms? Who would answer this question conclusively for us all? Are moms who don’t take leave for PSLE better? Who can answer this question conclusively?
We’re different no? We all just share from our own personal experience and trust that other Moms know what is best for their kids. Don’t wanna take PSLE leave? Then don’t. Don’t feel bad that majority of people do. I doubt the 1 % of minority GEP parents feel pressured to put their kids in mainstream. Maybe the majority of parents who do take leave have less able kids? Conversely, it’s fine too if there are those who DO wanna take PSLE leave… Like me. I think my kid enjoyed having me there. Maybe he did enjoy it because he is of lesser calibre? Maybe it is because we have a really good relationship. I dunno. I only know that he loved the time I spent with him before PSLE. Other Moms took 2 weeks off AFTER PSLE to go on holiday. I bet their kids enjoyed that.
Yet other Moms have very independent kids who dun really want their moms to crowd their space. Ok what? Good too.
Edited: Oh dear… I think I forgot Dads. My husband has 3 male colleagues whose wives are SAHMs… Errr… all 3 men took leave for PSLE this year. My husband FORGOT his son was taking PSLE. We had to remind him. But gee… If you ask my son, he’ll tell you he has the bestest dad. I rather think that the other 3 kids whose dads DID take leave would say the same about their dads. -
It really depends on the environment…if mothers have been working all the while and kids are used to being on their own, then their mothers’ presence MIGHT be a little stressful if mummy pops into the room to see how their kids are doing…not to spot check though. On the other hand, SAHMs might also be stressing their kids by breathing down their necks with questions like, ‘What are you doing ? Are you focusing?’
During the 9 days when hubby took leave, I reminded him not to nag or bug…but be a nice daddy by initiating dessert, son’s fav food and going to the supermarket for a change. -
No one is saying what is norm or not. Which kids are smarter, SAHM or working mothers are better. Just exchanging views and experiences. But then again, some get very touchy with alternative views. Why? Hmmmm…
Sigh…
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