In-law problems?

[SAHM Chew]

janet_lee88:

SAHM Chew,

It must really take a lot of patience and tolerance to do what you are doing. Stay under same roof and yet living separate lives. :salute:
You wash clothes and cook. They packet own food.

Janet, it takes a lot of effort to close both eyes. But what to do? DH n me do not take the same stand. Sometimes, i wonder y i am the one suffering? :faint:

[SAHM Chew]

buds:

SAHM Chew, i've been in your shoes before. :hugs: I can understand perfectly how it feels. I once told hubs that the house does not feel like home. I was sad when he said, \"It's not a home. It's just a house where everybody can have a roof over their heads.\" It's a *deal with it* diplomatic answer. I choked on my tears that day when he said that. That day was a few years ago but seems just like yesterday. Time heals all wounds? Think i need more time.


We now have our own HOME.
Not without a fight of course.
But i suppose it has been worth it.

Hi buds,

My house do not feel like a HOME too. But no matter how many fights we have, we will not have our own house as long as PIL are around. That is a true fact and i can not deny it. Even if i put up 1000 fights, the reality still remind. :sad:
Now, i just remind quiet n keep to myself :sad: nobody to pour my woes to. But luckily, i find this forum, if not, i will get mad.

Thanks to all the sis that are willing to hear my woes. :boogie:

[janet88]

SAHM Chew:

janet_lee88:

SAHM Chew,

It must really take a lot of patience and tolerance to do what you are doing. Stay under same roof and yet living separate lives. :salute:
You wash clothes and cook. They packet own food.

Janet, it takes a lot of effort to close both eyes. But what to do? DH n me do not take the same stand. Sometimes, i wonder y i am the one suffering? :faint:

although we cannot help you...do pour your woes here.
a home that doesn't feel like one...i hope you will be able to get your own space soon.

[SAHM Chew]

janet_lee88:

SAHM Chew:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]SAHM Chew,

It must really take a lot of patience and tolerance to do what you are doing. Stay under same roof and yet living separate lives. :salute:
You wash clothes and cook. They packet own food.

Janet, it takes a lot of effort to close both eyes. But what to do? DH n me do not take the same stand. Sometimes, i wonder y i am the one suffering? :faint:

although we cannot help you...do pour your woes here.
a home that doesn't feel like one...i hope you will be able to get your own space soon.[/quote]
Thanks Janet

[buds]

Hi SAHM Chew, hang in there. :snuggles:


Yes, share your troubles here and hope after offloading you can move on stronger each day. As for me, the \"fights\" aren't real fights like fist fights. They are mental fights.. from frequent backstabbing from MIL especially.. :roll: from the cold wars that result from these backstabbing & nonsensical drama.. that slowly escalated and ate into our marital relationship. The fight I was referring to was from within. An inner strength to push forward, leave behind a long trail of emotional baggage and fight for better days... to stay positive to keep the family unit intact. Hubs never saw things the way I did AT ALL. I cannot blame him either for the ILs are like different people in his presence.

I persevered 10yrs staying under 1 roof with people who NEVER knew how to appreciate my hubs. Appreciate me, lagi far off... bordering on impossible. :roll: So, I deserve what I have today from all the years of internal struggles that could drive a person to the brink of divorce or *gasp* even suicide (I had post-partum depression aft DD1's birth). :mad: In fact, WE deserve every bit of what we have today to pay back for the 10 years we lost. Yes, payback time. Double the interest.

[janet88]

Hi Buds,

It's frustrating when the parents act differently in front of their kids...so these husbands will never understand what we wives are going through with their parents. Can die...acting angel and devil just with a switch :mad:

Thank goodness you have your own place...especially with 4 growing kids.
The arguments caused by in-laws can make couples divorce.
How often i have quarreled with hubby after visiting them...shit.

[SAHM Chew]

Yap, i am referring to mental fights too, that left me tired n strained. The cold war is eating into our martial relationship too. :sad:


This is my 10 yrs staying with my PIL too.... :faint:

buds:

Hi SAHM Chew, hang in there. :snuggles:

Yes, share your troubles here and hope after offloading you can move on stronger each day. As for me, the \"fights\" aren't real fights like fist fights. They are mental fights.. from frequent backstabbing from MIL especially.. :roll: from the cold wars that result from these backstabbing & nonsensical drama.. that slowly escalated and ate into our marital relationship. The fight I was referring to was from within. An inner strength to push forward, leave behind a long trail of emotional baggage and fight for better days... to stay positive to keep the family unit intact. Hubs never saw things the way I did AT ALL. I cannot blame him either for the ILs are like different people in his presence.

I persevered 10yrs staying under 1 roof with people who NEVER knew how to appreciate my hubs. Appreciate me, lagi far off... bordering on impossible. :roll: So, I deserve what I have today from all the years of internal struggles that could drive a person to the brink of divorce or *gasp* even suicide (I had post-partum depression aft DD1's birth). :mad: In fact, WE deserve every bit of what we have today to pay back for the 10 years we lost. Yes, payback time. Double the interest.

[nightlone]

SAHM Chew:

janet_lee88:

Wow, how do you do that? Staying together and yet have freedom to do own things. If I have to face them for 2 hours, my BP will shoot, especially with that spoilt brat daughter.

I just stay in my room :rahrah:

Even if we see each other, we just ignore each other. I am the bad DIL. But i cannot be bothered already. If not, i will have high BP everyday. And die earlier.

I am practising see no evil, hear no evil. :rotflmao: just stayed in my room n watch my drama..... Better to have drama at home.

ha! me too! when i go back, i don't even greet. i just simply don't see, don't look, don't say anything.
it's easy when i seriously dislike them. no need bp to rise. bad for my health heh :imcool:

[nightlone]

SAHM Chew:

buds:

SAHM Chew, i've been in your shoes before. :hugs: I can understand perfectly how it feels. I once told hubs that the house does not feel like home. I was sad when he said, \"It's not a home. It's just a house where everybody can have a roof over their heads.\" It's a *deal with it* diplomatic answer. I choked on my tears that day when he said that. That day was a few years ago but seems just like yesterday. Time heals all wounds? Think i need more time.


We now have our own HOME.
Not without a fight of course.
But i suppose it has been worth it.

Hi buds,

My house do not feel like a HOME too. But no matter how many fights we have, we will not have our own house as long as PIL are around. That is a true fact and i can not deny it. Even if i put up 1000 fights, the reality still remind. :sad:
Now, i just remind quiet n keep to myself :sad: nobody to pour my woes to. But luckily, i find this forum, if not, i will get mad.

Thanks to all the sis that are willing to hear my woes. :boogie:

i really feel for you. :hugs:
everytime i hesitate when i say, 'i'm going home' coz it isn't a home. it's just a place where we sleep and put our things. it feels sooooo lousy all the time. i used to stay in the office til very late to avoid going back. pathetic right? rather stay in office...

[SAHM Chew]

Nightlone, its quite sad when i think about it. But then, 我过不了自己这一关.


I try to be more tolerate, look ahead to the future, but once i thought about the past, i just couldn't be the good DIL.

nightlone:

SAHM Chew:

[quote=\"janet_lee88\"]Wow, how do you do that? Staying together and yet have freedom to do own things. If I have to face them for 2 hours, my BP will shoot, especially with that spoilt brat daughter.

I just stay in my room :rahrah:

Even if we see each other, we just ignore each other. I am the bad DIL. But i cannot be bothered already. If not, i will have high BP everyday. And die earlier.

I am practising see no evil, hear no evil. :rotflmao: just stayed in my room n watch my drama..... Better to have drama at home.

ha! me too! when i go back, i don't even greet. i just simply don't see, don't look, don't say anything.
it's easy when i seriously dislike them. no need bp to rise. bad for my health heh :imcool:[/quote]