Husband drinks & stays out late - Does yours?

[cfan]

sunlight7


It is good that there are men who think like you do but sadly for the majority of man, …

Just want to say that if the man’s heart is no longer with you, there is nothing you can do to make him come back. Just let go… You will not feel so much pain after.

As for the "woman" who likes to be the additional party, I have this to say, If that man can cheat on his wife to be with you, what makes you think he will be with you? The day when he gives up his wife for you, that then is the day when you know that he really loves you, if he just want you as a "sideline" why should you reduce your dignity to be with him? You loved him you say then are you willing to give up everything and be the "person whom everyone will blame" just to be with him?? If you cannot do so, you are also only "using" him. So both of them "think" they are in a relationship and love one another but in actual fact are "using" one another. Sad and pathetic, don’t you think??

Sorry just some personal thoughts…
Getting a little emo, please forgive me…

[Fireflyserene]

Hi

Been away for past few months going thru many dramatic problems & emotional pains. Thanks all who have shared thoughts & words of encouragement. Sad to hear about so many wives experiencing similar situation & pain.
H left us & "disappeared" for months…after causing deep deep pain to me (H even wanted to strangle me becos of the woman) After long disappearance, H appeared to ‘threaten’ to D. H doesnt care about child & firmly said he does not want this family:(
I’m still facing the trauma (that eventful night) but I know I don’t even have the chance to "indulge" in depression/emotional distress as my child needs me.
As much as I’m reluctant to give up my family (maybe I’m too conservative or stubborn to accept a broken family), I do not have a choice as H left & refuse to return (wanting to b with his Wmn).
H is only concerned about self interest ($) & have no regards for child.
Great to have this forum & all the kind sharing. Sorry to pour here again - negative post

[cfan]

Fireflyserene :hugs:


I know how you feel

But remember it is his loss, not yours

I know what you mean about giving up on the marriage cos that was what i believed too but now I only focused on my kids. Whether he wants to leave or not, I don't care anymore as I know one day I will leave. It is now my choice and not his.

I still have my share of pain
The other woman was someone I used to care very much for and she has turn into this monster where she says all sorts of nasty things to me like
\"This is all my retribution...\"
\"Stained woman, you have lost your husband love forever...\"

It's ok, I think in retrospect, like what I have read,
At the end of the day, it is only between you and God, it is not between you and any other humans anyway.

Also, somebody said to me, our life on earth is short
Do you want to spend this limited time over the people you love and care about or on monsters who hurt you in every way they can?

It is up to you to choose the way you want to spend your time on,
If those monster wants to continue doing what he/she thinks is \"right\" so be it, who are we to judge? We are all only passing by on this earth.

Even if you believe in religion or not, there will be Someone or Something that will \"return\" whatever you have given or done, it is only a matter of time

Remember be strong!! Jia You!!!!

[AdonciaTang]

Fireflyserene:

Hi

Been away for past few months going thru many dramatic problems & emotional pains. Thanks all who have shared thoughts & words of encouragement. Sad to hear about so many wives experiencing similar situation & pain.
H left us & \"disappeared\" for months....after causing deep deep pain to me (H even wanted to strangle me becos of the woman) After long disappearance, H appeared to 'threaten' to D. H doesnt care about child & firmly said he does not want this family:(
I'm still facing the trauma (that eventful night) but I know I don't even have the chance to \"indulge\" in depression/emotional distress as my child needs me.
As much as I'm reluctant to give up my family (maybe I'm too conservative or stubborn to accept a broken family), I do not have a choice as H left & refuse to return (wanting to b with his Wmn).
H is only concerned about self interest ($) & have no regards for child.
Great to have this forum & all the kind sharing. Sorry to pour here again - negative post

Stay positive!

[Fireflyserene]

My heart is 'bleeding' beyond words. Really appreciate all the kind consolation.


Cfan, thks for sharing. I feel ur pain about the other party's action (mine:( tt wmn even create ultimum for H to 'threaten D' & .... (tears can't help dripping)....even when I try to \"ignore\" what I \"knw about their affair....

Ummm... Pointless to recall those bad memories (I'm too stubborn to hold on marriage vow... Wait & wait.. But now,Does it matter?.. I'm sceptical)

How I wish I cld just \"erase\" all these & \"reborn\".



AdonciaTang, thanks


:lovesite:

[AdonciaTang]

Fireflyserene:

My heart is 'bleeding' beyond words. Really appreciate all the kind consolation.


Cfan, thks for sharing. I feel ur pain about the other party's action (mine:( tt wmn even create ultimum for H to 'threaten D' & .... (tears can't help dripping)....even when I try to \"ignore\" what I \"knw about their affair....

Ummm... Pointless to recall those bad memories (I'm too stubborn to hold on marriage vow... Wait & wait.. But now,Does it matter?.. I'm sceptical)

How I wish I cld just \"erase\" all these & \"reborn\".



AdonciaTang, thanks


:lovesite:

I know how you feel, but time will heal and things will get better. I am sure god has a better plan for you but just need you to go through this rough patch.

I was going through this too when I was the daughter and my father betray our family. Mum drinks and smoke suddenly and I was left all alone to take care of my younger brother and mother, this lasted for a year to two and i was only 11, my result plummeted and I am always late for school and handing in of homework. I had to be the one to stay positive instead of my mother.

But I live through it and Now i have a husband who loves me and two sons who are the joy of my life. Sometimes i think back, I hoped that my mother was stronger for me and my bro. and I think its those things that made me stronger and better and who i am today now.

Always stay positive for your daughter, she needs you. Don let her feel emotionally scarred by this incident, which happened to me and it took my husband quite a great deal to get me out of it(I didn't even know i was emotionally scarred, and hubby is psychiatrist, thats why).

Anyway, sorry if my story bores you but its just my experience.

[Fireflyserene]

AdonciaTang,

Sorry to hear about your childhood incident. Thanks for sharing it & I admire your courage & maturity(at such tender age). I t must have been hard on you. Infact I was feeling v depressed but I tell myself that I can't afford to as my child needs me... Although at times I do breakdown in tears (as there is just too much happenings at same time - work, health, betrayal, family etc). I was so 'drained physically, emotionally'... & traumatized by that \"eventful nite\" that I was so \"scared\"...but I can't leave my child. I'm healing....
But I don't understand why H can be so cruel & disregard own child.
Sorry if i pour too much.

I'm glad that u have a lovely family. Stay happy forever. :thankyou:

[Twinklelime]

Fireflyserene :grphug: lots of hug, be strong ok

[AdonciaTang]

Fireflyserene:

AdonciaTang,

Sorry to hear about your childhood incident. Thanks for sharing it & I admire your courage & maturity(at such tender age). I t must have been hard on you. Infact I was feeling v depressed but I tell myself that I can't afford to as my child needs me... Although at times I do breakdown in tears (as there is just too much happenings at same time - work, health, betrayal, family etc). I was so 'drained physically, emotionally'... & traumatized by that \"eventful nite\" that I was so \"scared\"...but I can't leave my child. I'm healing....
But I don't understand why H can be so cruel & disregard own child.
Sorry if i pour too much.

I'm glad that u have a lovely family. Stay happy forever. :thankyou:

Thank you.

You never know what they are thinking. You cant blame yourself for that.

Heard some women said before that although they have been sharing the same bed with their H for 30 -40 over years, they feel that they still don't understand some things that their H do. Its not just you. My hubby do things that's surprises me too sometimes even though we have been living with each other for so many years.

Its always OK to cry and release the fear and sadness and depression, Its actually a good way to let off all those steam. I rather you cry then bottle it up, which can be very bad for u and ur health. and you might be letting off those steams by venting anger on someone else or ur daughter(which my mum did to me unknowingly herself last time).

Its good if u can talk to someone and just cry as much, I am pretty sure u will feel better. and then u will realize its not that bad after all, cause you still have your daughter with you who will love you more especially after what had happened.

Stay strong.

[Fireflyserene]

Thanks twinkleLime & adonciaTang.