Daughter wants to stop learning piano

[sleepy]

hquek:

I don't want him to think that it's easy to give up things, and to know that to acquire skills, one needs to sacrifice/work hard.


I don't aim for him to be the best, but I just want him to persevere. Hopefully there will come a day when he can play music - just for his own enjoyment.

I agreed. When a child encounters difficulties, the first reaction is to give up & thus appear to lose interest. That's human nature.

I try to identify whether it is due to 'no interest' or 'too difficult'.
If can play well but simply doesn't enjoy the instrument then I think it's fine to persue other area of interests.

[clarabella]

pecalis:

SIL told us the best time to start learning piano is 8-9 yrs old. That's when the child's fingers are long enough to reach the scales and can also go faster, in terms of progress.

I encounter many kids who start much younger and progress fast too. I'm not talking about prodigies lah Perhaps when they start at 5/6 yo there is much less school work to occupy their time and they have more time to practise hehe.

[metz]

pecalis:

To add on, starting at 8-9 is for average or talented musician. If our child is a prodigy, you'll know and you will start your child much earlier. We know ours is not a prodigy, but got a tiny bit talent. She's the arty farty creative type with a good sense of rhythm...

My kids' piano teacher said it's possible for my son to take grade 3 piano practical next year. But he has to practise very, very diligently (read : stress for mommy). He just started on piano in Oct last year but he has the right build, strong fingers and maturity.

But hor, he's certainly no prodigy. That I can assure you.

[metz]

Btw, I read somewhere that bright kids tend to give up on musical instruments more readily. Reason being they are quick in learning but can’t take the hard work required to master the skills. Those who persevere on are usually the more hardworking ones (besides loving music). So, don't take it too hard if your kids show disinterest in the instruments after a while. Rather, work with their music teachers to keep their interests in music burning.

[pecalis]

chamonix:

pecalis:

To add on, starting at 8-9 is for average or talented musician. If our child is a prodigy, you'll know and you will start your child much earlier. We know ours is not a prodigy, but got a tiny bit talent. She's the arty farty creative type with a good sense of rhythm...

My kids' piano teacher said it's possible for my son to take grade 3 piano practical next year. But he has to practise very, very diligently (read : stress for mommy). He just started on piano in Oct last year but he has the right build, strong fingers and maturity.

But hor, he's certainly no prodigy. That I can assure you.

Btw, how old is your son? Just wondering whether my SIL's advice is accurate.

Another friend also said for accomplished pianists, they often looked back and thanked their parents for pushing them to work hard all those yrs...

[micko07]

pecalis:

Another friend also said for accomplished pianists, they often looked back and thanked their parents for pushing them to work hard all those yrs...

Oh definitely. I can't tell you how grateful I am that my mother made me learn piano (I was 5 when I started). I'm far from accomplished, barely made it through Gr 8, but I certainly don't regret all the time I spent plunking away.

I have friends who regretted giving up/ not learning any musical instruments as kids. As you get older, you have less time to spend (CCA, Academics etc). You may have the interest, but simply lack the time to do it. I'm personally suffering from the consequences of not picking up ballet and golf when I was much younger (started at 17 and 16 respectively ). If I had my way, I would rather my parents force me to learn it as a child but that's me.

If your kid is showing signs of burnout/ disinterest, maybe speak to the teacher or drop classes for a while. Practicing the same things over and over again is verrrry boring so try introducing some fun, recreational pieces (it helps with sightreading too!). Can go youtube and pick out pop pieces to try. Duets are very fun

Ultimately, you can't run away from practice. Encourage your kids to stick it out and really enjoy the music. I've been playing for more than 10 years and as much as I hated the exams, I do love my piano very much. I still play nearly everyday even after I finished Gr 8, it's a wonderful way to relax.

I would also recommend getting at least a standard upright, if your child wants to/ is taking graded exams. The feeling of playing on a real piano vs an electric keyboard is VERY different. The piano allows for more expression and better control over volume and dynamics.

[takshiXD]

i am a child and i am learning piano i have start learning piano since i was 4 n i think she should not give up yes actually at times u will want to give up as the teacher might ask u to do sth that is hard but she mean well she is only grade 1 n have not even hve her grade 1 exam if she wants to give up u might want to talk to her about it if she can’t cope well with grade 1 she will have difficulties in higher grades…but my advice is not to give up although it will be tough as if u give up it will be a waste

[metz]

pecalis:

Btw, how old is your son? Just wondering whether my SIL's advice is accurate.

Hi pecalis,

My son is 6.5 years old.

Hmm, there's definitely nothing inaccurate about your SIL's advice. Just different school of thoughts. An American author that I read recommended kids to start on instruments at the age of 8 or 9 too. Reason being older, they are more ready to learn and commit to hard work (provided they like music). Also, at that age, it's easier to pick instruments based on their personalities. For a physically active child, the trombone, saxophone or any other wind instruments will be a wise choice as it provides an outlet for the child.

On the other hand, some advocates starting kids on music as early as possible. Suzuki music is a very fine example. It believes that music can be picked up like languages, and therefore kids should be started on instruments as early as possible. My friend once knew a group of 4 k2 kids learning Suzuki Violin Book 4 (think it's equivalent to ABRSM Grade 5). I was told (by my kids' violin teacher) that some kids in Japan were already doing the 10th Suzuki book by the time they reached 6 year old. These kids are musically talented but most importantly, a lot of hard work is involved. They typically spent an average of 8 hours on practices daily.

From my 2 kids' experience, I realised the earlier the child starts on an instrument, the more \"stellar\" the progress looks. My 4.5 yo started on piano in april this year and she has already working on grade 1 pieces. My son started on Suzuki Violin Book 1 at 5 years old, but my girl (started at 3 yr 4 mth old) is finishing Book 1 soon. A few other kids who started out at the same time with them share similar progress.

Of course, I'm not advocating that starting on instruments early is better. it all depends on the child and parents. Sometimes the personality and physique will also determine the pace of progress. A friend's 6 yo started about the same time as my son. He is doing just as well. Could have done better if not for his small built and fingers. Another 7 yo is musically talented but uncooperative. My son is interested in picking up Erhu but the strings are too tough for his tender fingers at the moment. So, he'll just have to wait for his skin to thicken. :lol: Also, at a younger age, kids may not understand the \"concept\" of hard work. A lot of pushing, discipline and commitment from parents will be required. So yeah, starting early has its own problems too.

[metz]

Hi micko07 and takshiXD,


Thanks for your sharing. I'm sure many parents will feel more encouraged after reading your experiences.

[UncleLim]

I don’t think we should "force" our kids to have music lessons just because everyone else’s kids are having them.


My wife thinks it is a good way to keep them trying hard and disciplined but I think there are other ways to do that.

My son and daughter started learning at the same day with the same teacher. Girl passed Grade 1 and wants to stop. Boy is preparing for Grade 5 and loving it. Girl has to be threatened to practise. Boy has to be stopped from playing piano excessively. So there is a difference based on their aptitude and love for music.

Does your child hum all the time? Does he or she break into singing after hearing a song on radio or tv? If yes, that is a good indication. If not, maybe some other training is better?