桃花谈

[insider]

Haha, Funz and Hquek joining in the fun. Welcome!


Wow Funz still can remember some of my ‘Money Bowl Theory’!

Actually whether the bucket is big or small doesnt really matter much. For someone with a smaller bucket, it may mean that that someone knows how to spend his/her money and enjoying life (if his/her bucket is destined to be a small one to begin with, then no point trying to accumulate wealth).

For someone with a big bucket, that someone may have to keep working and working (and the bank number will be keep going up and up coz the bucket is big enough!) and perhaps hold the money too tightly and dont know how to spend = poor life coz what is the point of having money but dont spend it = 皇帝命、乞丐身. I have seen enough this kind of rich but ‘one hair also cannot pluck’ people. heeheehee…

OK, CNY is a good time to talk about Money but now I going back to my Cherry Blossom first…

---------------------------

My key objective of looking into niece’s Life Plate is to ascertain her main star. I am hoping to see a more stable star, such as mine which is a very stable one. If she has a stable star, then I will have a higher chance of changing her first and then use her to change her mum.

Now, I landed myself with two Super 桃花 stars and I went into deep emmm…. moments.

Other than the 桃花 characteristics of her two main stars, some of her character traits include:

-\tstubborn
-\tconceited
-\tdifficult o satisfy
-\tuses heart more than brain to make decision

(for those who can read Chinese: 廉贞是一颗欲望强烈、死心眼的星曜，不太重视理性，却非常重感情，只是他的情感多半都埋藏在内心深处，只有累积到一定程度才会爆发……)

Above just a small part of her overall character.

So, above traits = I don’t have a high chance of success rate of working with her and that means I have to think of how to work on my sister. Usually it is easier to work with adults than with child as adults are supposed to be more stable and more matured than child, but well, we all know how some adults can be (that can be more childish than children at times!)

I went to look at her Spouse Field. It shows her spouse will be someone who is hot-tempered, an MCP.

She runs a high chance of marrying young and she is likely to divorce.

All these set me sitting up straight to think how to help her. I see all the cause and effect linked among my sister, my niece, my niece’s future family (niece’s kids incl), etc, that if no one bothers to try to change something, it will become a vicious cycle that many will suffer.

To be continued… (the ‘architecture’ of my rescue plan. Pls bear with me for the small parts coz it is not easy to piece things together so that the picture can be clearer for readers to understand more completely.)

[frusparents]

Funz:

At that time, I had a staff who was going through a lot of issues personally. She was lamenting about how each time she managed to save up some money, something will happen that will empty her bank account. I told her about what Insider shared and we kinda mused over it. But another similar incident happened when she received her bonus. We both looked at each other and I told her the next time you get excess cash, put it in your son's account. She has been doing that since. Maintaining only the amount that is comfortable for her daily needs and the rest, buy insurance or put them in her son's account.

:offtopic:
What if putting into sons' accounts oso doesn't work? meaning after a while, something happens and the money has to be withdrawn from sons' accounts to \"save\" the situation?

Any methods to \"keep the money safe\"? :scratchhead:

[Imp75]

Intrigued by insiders description of reading stars. Can you teach us how to analyse our own star or any books/website we should read?

[hquek]

hi insider,


I’m reading a book by Taiwanese educator 李崇建 who practises Virginia Satir’s methodologies. I’m not in much position to expound on what they say but basically it’s about what we see being an expression of what’s really deep inside and how family/past experience shape (or maybe scar) us (ice berg theory).

Seems a bit close to what you are saying about your niece and how her past experience is affecting her.

I shall await eagerly for your next instalment (all the while hoping that all will turn out well for your niece and your sis).

[insider]

hquek:

hi insider,


I'm reading a book by Taiwanese educator 李崇建 who practises Virginia Satir's methodologies. I'm not in much position to expound on what they say but basically it's about what we see being an expression of what's really deep inside and how family/past experience shape (or maybe scar) us (ice berg theory).

Seems a bit close to what you are saying about your niece and how her past experience is affecting her.

I shall await eagerly for your next instalment (all the while hoping that all will turn out well for your niece and your sis).

aiya, wanna cry oredi...prepared a long msg and then clicked 'Submit' and the message returned with 'Session Expired' and my whole msg gone!!!

wait huh...

[insider]

frusparents:

Any methods to \"keep the money safe\"? :scratchhead:

If your heart is clear enough, then you will be able to 'hear' the subtle msg embeded in my next episode...

[hquek]

…ouch…

[insider]

Imp75:

Intrigued by insiders description of reading stars. Can you teach us how to analyse our own star or any books/website we should read?

Errr...cannot teach coz if wanna learn, have to learn deep enough else will read the stars in literal sense = cause more harm than good.

A good star may not be a good star per se and a bad one may not be bad per se. All these stars need to be read as totality then it becomes meaningful...

Cannot give you skin deep knowledge then you go and read on your own and discover that you are the 短命 type when you are actually not and you scare the hell out of yourself for nothing = I would have sinned badly...

If by literal reading, there are four words that can sum up my niece's destiny - 非娼即盗 - which is not the case...

It takes a strong enough person to try to learn fortune telling. A weaker one if learns so may fall into the 命 itself and probably thereby living life in a more pessimistic ways (waiting for things to happen instead of making it happen = not suppose to be the way life should be).

So just enjoy kpoing in my writing...

[insider]

[Editor's Note: Post selected for http://www.kiasuparents.com/kiasu/content/power-change-starts-you.]


All this while I know that our destiny 命 is kind of fixed. It is fixed mainly by our character (nature part, determined by the main star/s in the Life Plate) accompanied by influences of the overall environment (nurture part).

However, I am also aware that we can change our destiny to a certain extent (改运).

There is no other ways to change our destiny except by keep habouring good thoughts and doing good deeds in our life. Every single kind thought or kind action brings positive karma points while every unkind thought or unkind action brings negative karma points (shared before, the whole essence of NLP somehow is related to this abstract thing).

What is the easiest way to score many positive points?

Well, it’s by being filial to our own parents (incl spouse’s parents) as well as being respectful to other old people around us. Take for example, being kind to someone may give one 10 positive points, but being kind to parents can give 100 points. So, it is ‘easier to score points just by being kind to our own parents. (I’m writing this a bit like ‘mercenary/accounting/business’ style but the idea is never such).

Conversely speaking, the fastest way to lose the positive points and gain more negative points is to be rude and unkind to our parents (incl spouse’s parents). One rude remark or even a hidden negative thought can set one back with many negative points in multiplier effect (that’s why in my earlier post, I stated filial must be uniform internally and externally within a person, else it’s fake = negative points).

百善以孝为先. If one cannot fulfill this basic part of being a human, then even with a good Life Plate it will also turn bad and if with a bad Life Plate, it will turn ever worst. (I know there are parents who are unfit to be parents, such as those fathers raping their daughters. But I shall not go into that else I cannot finish writing this thread).

It is important for a house to be filled with as many positive points as possible and a person to be surrounded by as many positive points as possible. Therefore, it’s crucial for parents to try to control their temper as much as possible and to avoid nagging, scolding, quarreling, etc at home (concept of 家和万事兴、家衰口不停）. All these breed negative points within a home and with more and more negative points, even good stars that are supposed to be shining bright will be dimmed by all the negativities in the house = most if not all at home suffer from moodiness, low spirit, etc, and thereby breeding more negative points – vicious cycle.

For those who know me will know that I am someone who believes that parenting can be ‘effortless’ and I really do believe so.

To raise good kids, one just has to be a good person with good temper, be filial, and be kind to everyone around him/her (even towards those whom you don’t like). This will generate positive points in a person and in the family and then such points will rub on the children and they will also generate positive points = very positive family with minimal issues. NEVER expect kids to do things that you can’t even achieve yourself, such as to be patient when you yourself never really demonstrate patience in a consistent manner.

So, to have good kids means you just have to be a good person. Is that easy or difficult?

For those who have kids who are difficult to teach /defiant / rebellious have to reflect deeply themselves from where the kids’ negative points are from and perhaps try to mend their ways 改过 (which is something that many of us always want our kids to do when they make mistakes but we seldom look at ourselves and tell ourselves we must改过).

To change a child ‘effortlessly’, you can look into the major areas of your relationship with yourself (are you happy inside or you are harbouring grievances while serving the family?), your relationship with your spouse (you respecting your spouse? talking to him/her nicely? etc), your relationship with your parents (have you been giving them money or you have been spending all your money only for your family only?), and your relationship with your parents-in-laws. Improve in these major areas that you are lagging and then miraculously you can find your child changing. (note: other non major areas but also important are your relationships with your siblings, friends, colleagues，and strangers. You dont help your siblings? You betray your friends? You backstabbing your colleagues? You purposely close the lift door quickly when you can see someone is approaching the lift? etc)

Overall, kids are quite innocent coz they don’t really generate many positive or negative points. It is we adults who begin the ‘engine’ to generate, then rubbed onto them and then we complain and complain about how difficult they are to manage when we are the source of their troubles… (from the sharing of many forummers here, roughly I can tell who will have kids who will be good <allow me to single out 3boys whom I trust his sharings are genuine over the years> and who will have kids who will suffer when they grow up; the way I know how my niece will suffer if my sis insists that she doesn’t need to change).


To be continued… (this part went a bit off course thought still relevant to the overall sharing.)

[SAHM_TAN]

有时是过不了自己那一关, 知道要怎样改却改不了。