桃花谈
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Today write a short story that I heard from my friend.
Friend has a staff.
This staff has an elder sis and an elder brother. She is the youngest.
When the three of them were young, the mum was a drug addict and had a boyfriend outside.
One day, the dad brought the kids to the boyfriend’s house to 捉奸.
The dad hit on the boyfriend’s door.
The mum panic and tried to escape by climbing out of window.
She fell to her death.
The three kids witnessed how she died.
So, the dad had to bring up the three kids and went into depression.
Then, he raped her eldest daughter.
The eldest daughter was a very quiet girl and kept the secret to herself through the years.
After grown up, the eldest brother got into accident and got himself killed.
The eldest daughter felt sad and jumped from high floor and died. She left a death note telling that staff how she has been struggling on the shame of being raped by the father and she would follow her mum’s step to solve all problems.
Then the dad also committed suicide.
So the whole family of 5 now only left with the staff alone.
The staff now is about early 40s, married and has 2 kids.
Whether from psychological or ‘seedling’ point of view, of course this staff is badly affected. Too bad that she doesn’t have any religion coz a human strength is unlikely to overcome these kinds of grief and hurts. All these may come and haunt her now and then. If she ever gets into problems, all these may float up to consume her and she has a very high chance to end up like the mum, sis, and dad as well. She needs the help of supernatural power for more effective healing. Whether she can go to God or go to Buddha, she should at least choose one to 放下 all these to the Almighty one instead of carrying it alone as a human being… -
What about scolding kids out of anger but don’t really mean what we say? Will we end up hurting them unintentionally (beside emotionally)? Quite tough to change our habit or character within a short period of time.
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mummy so kiasu:
What about scolding kids out of anger but don't really mean what we say? Will we end up hurting them unintentionally (beside emotionally)? Quite tough to change our habit or character within a short period of time.
Emmm...how to reply on this ah?
Emmm... if your kid takes it hard, then will be impacted more.
If your kid takes it 'left ear in, right ear out', then not too bad.
If you kid takes it hard but later understands and 'forgives' you coz he / she can figure out that you said it at the fit of anger and didn't mean it, then it's ok.
The crux here is whether he / she will bear grudges and in his / her heart, whether he / she will 'scold' you back (like my eldest sis and my niece), then this results in 'nails' flying around in the house and then results with negative Qi and whoever has weaker Qi in the family will kena the negative effect most.
Take for example, the child has a younger sibling then this young one has weaker Qi, then this younger one will kena worst and unlikely to be able to grow up as fine as he / she originally capable to be.
Babies tend to be affected most by the negative Qi. Don't see them 'gong gong' like don't know anything hor. They absorb all these that are happening in a family. So, if you have a baby at home, try to maintain a cordial an atmosphere at home as possible coz that baby is innocent and should not be receiving all these 'nails' that are flying around at home... -
mummy so kiasu:
What about scolding kids out of anger but don't really mean what we say? Will we end up hurting them unintentionally (beside emotionally)?
insider,
since your childcare centres deal with many young children everyday -
do your childcare centre teach pre-school kids \"Di Zi Gui\" or \"San Zi Jin\" ?
if not these method, can share with us what method you teach toddlers / pre-school kids - how to sow a good seed in their hearts ?
This way, you're sowing good seeds in them already, from a very young age.
Sowing good seed in them - because their hearts & mind are set right, from an early beginning. ie. they learn to be filial, to be obedient, to show respect to parents, to listen to teachers and elders, etc. And if children learn to respect their parents, their teachers in schools, elders (grandparents, etc) at home in society, then the family unit is in harmony. Once kids are obedient to parents - don't show rudeness, don't talk back to parents, don't throw tantrum, not to test patience of parents at home nor test the patience of teachers in schools. Then the positive Qi energy will flow in the family. Then parents will not scold kids out of anger, or take a cane and cane them ... -
Insider
If someone takes advantage of her parents love to get money from them in order to be sahm, and the parents agree willingly, is it considered 不孝？ Just to add on, the parents are no longer working and are not super rich type.
Thanks. -
Nice intro to Buddhism of 13 parts (per part is about 20+ min).
Maybe can watch per part per day and see how much you can digest...
My 'idol' Richard Gere is an 'active' Buddhist...
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KOEXkaow0ko][/youtube] -
phtthp:
my centres don't have either one of these.since your childcare centres deal with many young children everyday -
do your childcare centre teach pre-school kids \"Di Zi Gui\" or \"San Zi Jin\" ?
if not these method, can share with us what method you teach toddlers / pre-school kids - how to sow a good seed in their hearts ?
children this age can only memorise the words and not so much of the meanings. The meanings will come if they are being reinforced along the years and when continue to mature.
a large % of children don't have this luck of having this reinforcement at home and in their pr and sec schools and so most of these recitations may remain as 'sounds' if they still manage to remember else most if not all will be gone by the time they hit upper primary.
that's the main problem of Chinese standard is declining in Singapore with many parents cannot cope with more advance Chinese itself (like Chief and Funz?) and therefore, little hope can be pinned on the subsequent generations to really pick up the real solid 忠孝仁爱、礼义廉耻.
home environment is still the best if want to inculcate all these values.
when di zi gui and san zi jin are taught to preschoolers, to me the main purpose is more for them to 'exercise' the fine muscles in their mouths for better articulation of Chinese speech (Eng and Chinese speech use different areas of fine muscles in the mouth. If don't 'loosen' the 'Chinese fine muscles' in the mouth, then the child may speak Mandarin like English). They are more like 'rhymes' for preschoolers, similar to reciting 'Humpty Dumpty'...
This thing requires a lot of follow up via applications in daily life in order to internalise, else will be quite futile...
PS:
Small thing as 'innocent' as like playing Angry Birds...this is a terrible game for kids to play coz it 'teaches' all the wrong values. How to teach Di Zi Gui while playing Angry Birds at the same time? Just cannot gel coz words and actions cannot match...
Actually don't need to teach kids San Zi Jin, parents have to learn it first, then right themselves as examples, then the kids will have more hope.
PS2:
I am against all these 'innocent' games that really rob our kids of their innocence and to see kids start playing at around 2+, I really feel very sad in a way... -
mummy of 2:
If the angle is from \"take advantage\", of course it is 不孝. It will be 超级不孝 to make use of parents' love or anyone else's love to accomplish selfish needs.Insider
If someone takes advantage of her parents love to get money from them in order to be sahm, and the parents agree willingly, is it considered 不孝？ Just to add on, the parents are no longer working and are not super rich type.
Thanks.
But if the child is in financial difficulties and really needs money and parents provide willingly, then it's ok.
The 'intent' is always very important... -
For Di Zi Gui, I have heard cases of kids questioning the parents’ sincerity in trying to model the teachings to them.
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insider:
Thanks for your reply. The person I'm referring to is actually my sil aka hubby's sister. I guess it's impossible to say for sure but I would she is not in financial difficulty as in she can choose to continue working rather than be sahm. Her children are not special needs and she is not 'required' to look after them herself. Or she can choose to spend less on a single income. Initially she wanted to buy over ils flat at less than half the market price. Mil was agreeable and DH did not object also. I was the only one who felt it was wrong. I finally let DH see that it wasn't fair to his parents. Eventually she rented out her own flat at market price and moved into ils flat. She gave ils a token rental every month and used the extra for her own family expenses. Ils are living with us and had been renting out the flat at market rate previously. I always felt it was terrible of her for trying to get ils to sell their flat to her for so little. Initially DH even felt I was wrong to want to interfere since it was between his parents and sis. Now I see her planning to spend her money on things I deem as unnecessary such as $400+ per month playgroup. I feel quite upset by that.
If the angle is from \"take advantage\", of course it is 不孝. It will be 超级不孝 to make use of parents' love or anyone else's love to accomplish selfish needs.mummy of 2:
Insider
If someone takes advantage of her parents love to get money from them in order to be sahm, and the parents agree willingly, is it considered 不孝？ Just to add on, the parents are no longer working and are not super rich type.
Thanks.
But if the child is in financial difficulties and really needs money and parents provide willingly, then it's ok.
The 'intent' is always very important...
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