The Real Reason Why We Send Our Children to Tuition

[Kissgurami]

janet_lee88:

English covers a wide aspect...composition, oral and language.
Teachers have limited time everyday...even if there is a responsible teacher who is able to teach well, she is not able to cover so much.

The fear of not being able to catch up in class as well as failing the subject is sufficient to make parents worry.

I have a similar worry too...that kids become dependent on tuition.

I don't see the standard being much higher. My view on languages is that it shouldn't be bounded by the p1 p2 henceforth but rather by the learning ability of the child. On another note, dont we see parents stating how young their kids start reading, wouldn't that also increase the bench mark?

I do agree that there is so much teachers can cover but surely they don't need to cover oral? If the child has issues communicating verbally, then as a parent I would be jumping on it also.

I would expect the teachers to offer key points, tips, resources where the child can build on their creativity. Mark their work and provide recommendations. Unless this isn't what is done at the moment.

I really dont expect hand holding coz then my dds will stop how to learn and expect to be told each time where they are wrong.

What I am getting at and worry for the future parents is, it is more of the fear of parents which is leading the children to tuition rather than the children themselves.

Children could live without tuition if we could accept certain failures with our kids if not yes, they would always have to depend on tuition if they have to attain both parent's and school expectations especially if the kids are not strong academically. This is where no matter how much tuition there is, some kids won't absorb since it is a mind set itself.

Some kids will bloom later and some kids do well early and worse later. There are various learning abilities hence each exam is a bench mark but that shouldnt become the noose.

My DDs are completely different. My DD1 has comprehension issues and creative juices, hmm not so great. but she is studious and does well in grammar/vocab. My DD2 (P1) is able to comprehend maths and English better than her sister but her spelling and grammar still needs work. Both of them are mainly taught by the school.

Will I enrol my DD1 for English?

No, think I have accepted by paying for tuition to stuff her mind with creative phrases and model essays isn't what I really want for her. For that, I must also be prepared for her to come back with a lacklustre score.

[Kissgurami]

SAHM_TAN:

I'm playing with an idea here that I'm trying to decide.


If tuition manage to \"force\" the marks out of the child and the child has many choices becos of the results, are they real choices?

Depends, if the child can select their choice and maintain it on their own. If they selectes their choice and still need tuition then, i am afraid the marks are only a false front.

chicken and egg :rotflmao:

if don't provide tuition, wonder if the child will ever say \"mummy your fault , you didn't pay for my tuition.\"

Tuition and enrichments are so glorified nowadays, I remembered my times where we studied harder to avoid tuition as it was a social embarrassment among the peers LOL

[mummy of 2]

My DS1 still says that tuition is for those who don't pay attention to teachers

[jedamum]

Kissgurami:

if don't provide tuition, wonder if the child will ever say \"mummy your fault , you didn't pay for my tuition.\"

My boy does not have math tuition. We leave it for him to self advance study syllabus and teacher to teach, with his dad to clarify his doubts. Heuristic math we leave it to school to cover. Come p5, suddenly we are press for time and his learning curve became steep overnight, demanding him to grasp heuristics questions yet refusing him the luxury of time to work by himself and learn at his pace as time are needed for his weaker subjects. Overnight, his strongest subject becomes his weakest.

I asked him if I should have signed him up for math enrichment at lower primary despite his good subject grades, like I did now for his younger brother. He said he wished that I had as he would have bigger lead time to tackle heuristics when its focus were not so much in lower primary.

We may or may not know what is best for our kids. Turning to tuition prematurely could be what parents are willing to pay for so they won't live to regret when it is too late.

[SAHM_TAN]

Jedamum,


Do you regret not sending your ds to tuition earlier?

[jedamum]

SAHM_TAN:

Jedamum,


Do you regret not sending your ds to tuition earlier?

I have mixed feelings.
If I am a ftwm, I will certainly regret.
But we are operating this household on a single income, so have to say that it was the preferred arrangement then. Not so much regret on not sending for tuition, but more on whether I was fair to him when compared to his brother.

I have yet to experience the impact of the decision: the test will come in if ds2 emerge stronger than ds1, will ds1 cry foul if he could not get into his preferred school later on.

Their relationship is quite good, so while ds1 may feel envious- like how I sent ds2 a 'better' kindergarten but ds1 to pcf only - he knows that I didn't know better earlier.

[SAHM_TAN]

jedamum:

SAHM_TAN:

Jedamum,


Do you regret not sending your ds to tuition earlier?

I have mixed feelings.
If I am a ftwm, I will certainly regret.
But we are operating this household on a single income, so have to say that it was the preferred arrangement then. Not so much regret on not sending for tuition, but more on whether I was fair to him when compared to his brother.

I have yet to experience the impact of the decision: the test will come in if ds2 emerge stronger than ds1, will ds1 cry foul if he could not get into his preferred school later on.

Their relationship is quite good, so while ds1 may feel envious- like how I sent ds2 a 'better' kindergarten but ds1 to pcf only - he knows that I didn't know better earlier.

I'm trying to work out my thinking.

dd1 is my first child, I sent her to I CAN READ but didn't work out. We tried helping her but nothing really works. But when she reached 7 yos she started to read. There are still some experts who feel that 7 yos is the age for reading.

ds, I didn't send him to I CAN READ, he was able to read at about 3.5 yos with what he learnt at kindy and the use of the Peter and Jane series.

bb 2.5 yos still can't speak but her fine and gross motor skills are far more superior than her siblings at the same age.

Now, I'm trying to decide..........let the kids develop at their natural pace or........I find that dd1 will understand at her pace, there's no rushing her. When it's \"the time\" she will get it, like reading.....
Ds learns what he wants to learn. While bb just loves to be with me.

[sharonkhoo]

jedamum:

I have yet to experience the impact of the decision: the test will come in if ds2 emerge stronger than ds1, will ds1 cry foul if he could not get into his preferred school later on.


Their relationship is quite good, so while ds1 may feel envious- like how I sent ds2 a 'better' kindergarten but ds1 to pcf only - he knows that I didn't know better earlier.

For their sake, help your older son take other factors into account, especially, is the younger brother naturally better at Maths? There is no real way to tell if tuition would have helped the older one significantly. There are so many kids who did worse than they would have liked despite having tuition. I have 2 girls who are so very different - actually we have given far more attention and help to the weaker one, while the other mostly does it on her own and asks for help when she wants some. On the other hand, we aim much higher for the stronger one in terms of which school we choose for her, getting her to learn more beyond the basics, exposing her to more etc. For the weaker one, we don't want to stress her and just aim for what we think she can achieve. Will she blame us for not pushing her? I hope not.

[buds]

SAHM_TAN:

I'm trying to work out my thinking.


dd1 is my first child, I sent her to I CAN READ but didn't work out. We tried helping her but nothing really works. But when she reached 7 yos she started to read. There are still some experts who feel that 7 yos is the age for reading.

ds, I didn't send him to I CAN READ, he was able to read at about 3.5 yos with what he learnt at kindy and the use of the Peter and Jane series.

bb 2.5 yos still can't speak but her fine and gross motor skills are far more superior than her siblings at the same age.

Now, I'm trying to decide..........let the kids develop at their natural pace or........I find that dd1 will understand at her pace, there's no rushing her. When it's \"the time\" she will get it, like reading.....
Ds learns what he wants to learn. While bb just loves to be with me.

SAHM_TAN dearest.. I believe you HAVE worked it out.

Now, give yourself that pat on your back. :snuggles:

[SAHM_TAN]

buds:

SAHM_TAN:

I'm trying to work out my thinking.


dd1 is my first child, I sent her to I CAN READ but didn't work out. We tried helping her but nothing really works. But when she reached 7 yos she started to read. There are still some experts who feel that 7 yos is the age for reading.

ds, I didn't send him to I CAN READ, he was able to read at about 3.5 yos with what he learnt at kindy and the use of the Peter and Jane series.

bb 2.5 yos still can't speak but her fine and gross motor skills are far more superior than her siblings at the same age.

Now, I'm trying to decide..........let the kids develop at their natural pace or........I find that dd1 will understand at her pace, there's no rushing her. When it's \"the time\" she will get it, like reading.....
Ds learns what he wants to learn. While bb just loves to be with me.

SAHM_TAN dearest.. I believe you HAVE worked it out.

Now, give yourself that pat on your back. :snuggles:

I need a pinch of courage and a giant leap of faith