How much should I give my parents?
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Lavina:
Ya lor...agree wf u...it is not a amt of $$,we give within our means.When i was single n working,could afford to give more.But can't give more anymore after i married n stopped working.She always compares me wf my cousin,who is childless n working in USA.Of coz,she could afford to pay more considering the currency exchange.
OMG she has totally no EQ at all. I'd be very hurt too. Thankfully my mom is more subtle.vinegar:
Her reply was irritating.She said,\"u think i could i survive wf ur miserable few hundred dollar that u give?? ur bro gives me few thousands to spend.\"
Since your brother is so generous, then you no need to feel bad about not giving her money. Perhaps buy her things which she likes would lessen the comparison.
My hubby's sister also gives his mom a lot of money (she is way richer than us). I ever told hubby that this is not competition, doesn't mean we have to give as much as her. In fact since she already giving so much, we can give less and be nice to her in other way.
P/S, thank you canvas
I understand wat u mean.We show our filial in many ways,not necessary give more $$ means we r more filial.My USA cousin couldn't even be there wf my aunty when she went for operation.
I am disappointed wf my mum.But hv to learn to forget n forgive.We cant choose our parents. -
I actually gives my parents $1.8K per month. This excludes the monthly instalment for their apartment (which is jointly owned by my parents, dh and myself), their utilities bill as well as annual holidays (eg. 2-3 a year which includes China, Malaysia, or our family holiday).
Seeing this... I think I really contribute alot to upkeeping my parents every month hence I must continue to be employed and work hard. BTW, I am the only child and my parents are not working anymore.
I sometimes worry about parents falling sick and hefty medical expenses in Singapore. But seeing insider's separate thread on contribution to parents brought comfort to me. I also hold the thinking that my parents are no longer young, where I can afford, I will do it. Hopefully next time my kids will do likewise for us too.
At the same time, I think we've been blessed as we bought parents' apartment 7 years back when prices are low. Price have doubled. House is within 1km to a popular school and good location. All that I am praying for now is continued job security for at least another 17 years....Hopefully we are able to retire and I can get retrench then
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My mum helps to look after my kids but I do not differentiate between her allowance or money for looking after the kids. Her meals are taken at my house and marketing for food and household items for both households are done by me.
I settle her insurance and supplementary card bills and will also buy her clothes and handbags. Her medical expenses, where she puts into the card, are settled by me.
Due to work commitments, we sometimes forfeit our leave. We do bring her along if we go away. My only sibling lives in Europe and will underwrite her visit cum tours to other parts when she is there. She will also buy clothes and handbags for her too.
I know she saves the extras from our allowances to be redistributed back to us in the future. -
I would think that any amount would be reasonable as a token. That said, it should generally reflect the giver’s financial ability and lifestyle. If one runs a tight ship making ends meet, I doubt any parent will begrudge a couple of hundreds a month. But if one has a pretty filled wine cabinet (or wine cellar) and annual ski holidays, I think a more generous package for the parents is in order. It is tragic that some cut back their giving because they have new commitments like sending kids to international schools or upgraded to a more expensive luxury car.
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UncleLim:
I would think that any amount would be reasonable as a token. That said, it should generally reflect the giver's financial ability and lifestyle. If one runs a tight ship making ends meet, I doubt any parent will begrudge a couple of hundreds a month. But if one has a pretty filled wine cabinet (or wine cellar) and annual ski holidays, I think a more generous package for the parents is in order. It is tragic that some cut back their giving because they have new commitments like sending kids to international schools or upgraded to a more expensive luxury car.
HELL YEAH! -
would you all reveal honestly how much pay you earn monthly to your parents when they asked?
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vinegar:
Hi Vinegar, it must be very sad to take that from your mum. But remember that our parents (like us) are not perfect people. Sometimes, older does not necessary mean wiser. And there is a fair bit of money politics in most families, sad to say.
my mum also dotes my bro more.He forever an angel to her.Lavina:
I am SAHM and my hubby gives my mom $600 monthly. One brother gives my dad some $ and another single brother who live with them pay for utility, house etc...
Since my brother has always been my mom's fav son, naturally she loves his two dd more than my ds. I just let it pass. DS gets enough love from hubby and me.... hehehe
I have a friend who was so pissed that the wife's mom \"zhong nan qing nu\" that he made his wife (i think wife agrees too) cut all ties with the family. Ten years and they haven't even gone back once!
i used to give $$ to my mum even i stopped working for yrs.One day,i casually asked her if $$ enuff if brother got give her $$.Her reply was irritating.She said,\"u think i could i survive wf ur miserable few hundred dollar that u give?? ur bro gives me few thousands to spend.\"
She stays wf my bro n also treat bro's children like precious gems,hack care my children.
She said her savings will give all to my bro coz he takes care of her.it was hurting. :sad: it is not the $$ issue,but i find her too \"practical\".
But i still give her $$ occasionally. -
SBKS:
would you all reveal honestly how much pay you earn monthly to your parents when they asked?
My income varies every month so it's hard to tell my parents exactly how much I earn. They only know the range. -
SBKS:
would you all reveal honestly how much pay you earn monthly to your parents when they asked?
Of cos. In fact, I made it a point to update my mum on every pay rise, bonus etc. Like reporting my school grades :rotflmao:
With my father, I am more vague. Only volunteering info when asked and always a ball park figure. Becos he has a real bad habit of leaking such info to any Tom, dick and Harry and would always compare our earnings (my siblings and me). -
Imami:
understand from your point of view.SBKS:
would you all reveal honestly how much pay you earn monthly to your parents when they asked?
Of cos. In fact, I made it a point to update my mum on every pay rise, bonus etc. Like reporting my school grades :rotflmao:
With my father, I am more vague. Only volunteering info when asked and always a ball park figure. Becos he has a real bad habit of leaking such info to any Tom, dick and Harry and would always compare our earnings (my siblings and me).
I just keep thinking that they want to know about it so that they will know whether the amount they received from us is justifiable or not and if they should ask more or not.
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